Ep 84: Contain Your Teen’s Tech

Joshua Wayne, author of new book The Simple Parenting Guide to
Technology, clues Andy in on the latest statistics and solutions
to teens’ addiction to technology. Plus, how to adjust your
rules--or set them--during the coronavirus pandemic.


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Full show notes


Viewing Life From a Screen


Did you know the average teen spends over seven hours a day in
front of a screen? And no—that doesn’t include mandatory screen
time for school research, Zoom classes, and online assignments.
The average teen screen time of seven hours a
day is spent on video games, apps, social media, and other forms
of aimless web browsing. Passive entertainment is taking up more
and more of teens’ free time every day. In fact, some researchers
estimate that teens spend as much as 40% of their life in front
of a screen. This is a worrisome statistic for parents—and anyone
invested in the next generation for that matter.


The teenage years are critical for cognitive brain development,
forming positive relationships, and practicing social skills. So
what happens if your teenager is stunting their cognitive
development by staying up hours into the night playing video
games, Snapchatting, and scrolling through Instagram? This
oversaturization can have lasting negative effects on a teen’s
brain. So should parents reduce the average teen screen
time? Considering how much social media and other
screen-based activities play a role in a teen’s social
life—especially since COVID-19 has postponed many in-person
activities—parents have to walk a fine line when monitoring their
teens’ technology use. So what should parents do to balance phone
and TV time with in person interactions?


This week I spoke with expert Joshua Wayne, author of The Simple
Parenting Guide to Technology, to discuss how parents can monitor
the average teen screen time. Wayne’s book
provides parents with incredibly practical ways to approach
screen time, and with COVID-19 spurring a massive increase in
virtual connectivity, his perspective is more valuable now than
ever. In our interview, Wayne explains how to create and
implement a technology agreement and how it can be used to set
guidelines for the average teen screen time.


Big Tech Problems


Technology has brought us access to a wealth of information we
would otherwise have to search libraries upon libraries for.
Think about how you would accomplish a book report on Abraham
Lincoln and the Civil War when you were a teen and computers and
smartphones didn’t exist. You had to go to the library and check
out four different books to compile enough information for your
report. And then you’d have to write the whole thing without
spellcheck—what a pain! In comparison, having access to this
information instantly and without having to leave home saves us
so much time. Wayne firmly believes that technology has brought
more good than bad and that it’s here to stay. Fighting for the
average teen screen time to be zero is not only
futile, but unrealistic and impractical.


So with that in mind, should parents reduce the average
teen screen time? Generally speaking, yes, but the
amount and way it’s limited is up to the individual family. Wayne
knows all families have different levels of reliance on
technology. For a family with two kids heavily involved in
varsity sports who aren’t particularly reliant on their phone,
setting a two-hour limit per day works. However, for the family
of a teen who isn’t big on extracurriculars but spends their time
learning how to code software by watching YouTube videos, a
four-hour limit a day is more realistic.


In this interview, Wayne uses a few simple guiding rules to help
you decide what screen time limits are best for your specific
situation. Parents need to acknowledge that the average
teen screen time is seemingly high partially because of
how important social media is to your kids. Although you might
have Instagram or Facebook yourself, you might be wondering why
your teen needs to waste their entire day
messaging on social media and Snapchatting their friends.
However, they might actually be having extremely
meaningful conversation and developing strong bonds with their
friends on these apps. These conversations have become even more
precious to teens since the COVID-19 outbreak has prevented them
from seeing their friends at school or on the weekends. They’re
starved of a social outlet and what’s filling this gap is social
media. It may be frustrating to see them on their phone
constantly but ultimately, if your teen’s screen time is being
spent on a healthy activity it might be better to make more room
for it in their life.


Using electronic devices is part of everyday life, but getting
outside, stowing phones at night, and in-person interactions are
all productive ways to lower the average teen screen
time. These suggestions should be included in your
Family Tech Agreement, which is a plan Wayne developed to help
parents create rules that’ll monitor their teen’s phone usage.
The rules can be things like no phones after 11pm on weekdays or
no social media on holidays that everyone in the family must
abide by, even the parents. The rules in this agreement should be
determined by the activities and responsibilities they need to
accomplish, like sports practices or SAT Prep, before getting
free time to use their devices. Wayne says to be prepared for
pushback because in most cases, your teen won’t want to have any
limitations on their screen time and will resist having to abide
by an agreement. While there is plenty of room for negotiation
between parent and teen in the Family Tech Agreement, listen in
to hear how to maintain your authority while creating an
Agreement that will reduce the average teen screen
time.


Parental Control


In this episode, Wayne discusses how it’s not only important to
limit average teen screen time, you also need to
keep a watch on what your teen is consuming. It’s unpleasant to
think that your teen is watching unwholesome videos or exchanging
unsavory texts with people you don’t want them talking to—but
it’s reality. The world wide web is a dark place where
unmentionable things happen to unassuming teens every day.
Because of this, there are plenty of parental control apps you
can use to see what websites your teen is viewing as well as
location apps to track their whereabouts.


At first thought, you might find these parental control apps to
be invasive. You trust that your kid isn’t looking at
inappropriate things and if they know you’re monitoring what they
do online, they’ll think you don’t trust them. While it’s great
that you trust your kid is only using their phone to look at
pictures of puppies and send their grandmother nice emails on her
birthday, you may be giving them too much credit. Even the most
responsible teens come across websites with illicit or salacious
content, whether on accident or intentionally. There are a myriad
of risky things they can come across, like websites that’ll give
them viruses, porn sites that operate under unassuming
pseudonyms, or even websites that will sneakily take money from
your teen. Wayne's insists that you explain to your teen that
you’re using parental control apps not ...