Ep 322: Communication Skills for Parents and Teens

Michael Chad Hoeppner, author of Don't Say Um, joins us to share
speaking tips for parents and teens, focusing on effective
communication techniques and how delivery can enhance dialogue.


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Full Show Notes


Crafting the right message for teens is only half the battle when
it comes to effective communication. Striking a balance between
content and delivery can significantly impact how teens absorb
what we’re trying to say. As parents, we often stress over the
precise words to use, focused on the content, and inadvertently
overlook the power of speech delivery. How we speak, not just
what we say, can be critical in ensuring our message resonates
and leaves a lasting imprint on our teenagers.


For many parents, navigating the conversational minefields of
adolescence can be daunting. The fear of being tuned out or
misinterpreted adds to the pressure of an already rigorous
parenting task. While teenagers are known to push boundaries,
leaving us to harp on the things they shouldn’t be doing, there’s
a compelling case for focusing less on prohibitions and more on
fostering positive dialogue. In today’s fast-paced world, ripe
with distractions, honing the art of effective speech can be a
game-changer in our interactions.


To help us deepen our understanding of this topic, we turn to
Michael Chad Hoeppner, author of the new book Don’t Say Um.
Michael is an expert in speech coaching, working with
high-profile individuals from presidential candidates to CEOs. He
aims to transform how we view and execute communication, moving
us away from focusing on filler words and towards what he calls
"linguistic precision." Throughout his work, he advocates for
positive communication strategies that can be transformative in
both personal and professional realms, and he’s here to share
some of these insights with us.


The Mystery of 'Um'


Although refraining from using filler words like "um" might seem
trivial, Michael shows us how avoiding them can enhance clarity
and precision. Instead of harping on the use of such words, the
book encourages us to pivot to linguistic accuracy, which means
encouraging effective and thoughtful word choices. This approach
can empower parents to communicate more efficiently with
teenagers, focusing on the richness of content rather than its
distractions.


Michael emphasizes how vital this strategy is not only in
improving parent-teen dialogue but also as a lesson in better
communicative habits for teens. As he describes, creating a more
positive speech environment can challenge both parents and teens
to engage more actively and meaningfully in conversations.


Practical Tools for Everyday Conversations


Michael shares a variety of exercises designed to sharpen
articulation and delivery, including unexpected but effective
techniques such as the "cork exercise." By utilizing methods like
these, both parents and teens can learn to articulate better,
making each conversation more impactful. Michael and I also delve
into how these rituals improve not just speaking habits, but can
also inspire personal growth and confidence.


He insists that parents—by demonstrating their own willingness to
improve communication skills—serve as powerful role models for
their teenagers. This leads to an empowering cycle where teens
are encouraged to improve their expressiveness and feel more
confident in their communication.


Raising Confident Communicators


An essential element of effective communication is confidence,
but as Michael notes, projecting confidence doesn't always
require feeling confident. By addressing the distinction between
communication content and delivery, parents and teens can build a
foundation of confidence that empowers them in various social
situations. Michael stresses the importance of focusing on what
you can control—like breathing, posture, and other techniques,
which can lend anyone more control over how confident they
appear.


Communicating with teens isn’t just about delivering information;
it’s about creating memorable, impactful interactions. Michael
helps illustrate the importance of confronting nervousness in
ways that don’t shy away from, but rather embrace the body's
natural reactions to stress and excitement. This emphasis not
only builds stronger communicators but also fosters important
emotional intelligence.


In the Episode…


Michael shares a wealth of insights on:


Exercises to enhance clarity and articulation

Techniques for managing vocal tendencies like "vocal fry"

Strategies for using physical posture to improve presence and
persuasion

Tactics to encourage authentic self-expression in teenagers



If you’d like to delve deeper into perfecting communication with
your teen, this episode is a must-listen. Check out the free
chapter on dontsayum.com and don't forget to subscribe to Talking
to Teens for more enlightening discussions!





Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.