Ep 319: How to Truly Support Your Teen

Chinwe Williams, author of Seen, joins us to discuss how parents
can truly connect with and support their teenagers by
understanding their emotional needs and fostering a growth
mindset.


Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.


Full Show Notes





Parenting teenagers in today’s world is a challenge that many
find daunting. The teenage years are fraught with turbulence,
from the storm of emotional changes to academic pressure and
growing responsibilities. As parents, it’s easy to feel like
we’re navigating deep waters without a map. We want to be there
for our teens, guiding them through their struggles and helping
them build resilience. But, sometimes our well-intentioned advice
seems to miss the mark, leaving both sides frustrated.


This episode addresses a core issue that many parents face—making
their teens feel truly seen. Adolescents deal with a host of
issues that make them feel invisible or misunderstood. They
struggle with anxiety, battle societal expectations, and often
encounter mixed messages in their environments. By ensuring that
they are ‘seen’, parents can provide critical support. 


Enter Dr. Chinwe Williams, counselor, educator, and author of the
book "Seen". Chinwe dives into the pivotal role of meaningful
connections between parents and teenagers. During our discussion,
Chinwe emphasizes creating an environment where teens feel heard
and appreciated—not just for their accomplishments, but for their
unique selves. By validating their feelings and fostering an
authentic relationship, parents can help teens recognize their
self-worth and develop confidence.


In this episode, Chinwe shares her own journey into the realm of
adolescent counseling and outlines the essence of her book
"Seen". She delves into practical strategies for connecting with
teenagers, underscoring the importance of fostering a safe space
for them to express themselves. We explore various themes
including:


The Importance of Being Seen


Chinwe discusses the foundational understanding that young people
need someone who knows them beyond their academic or
extracurricular accolades. By providing genuine care and
displaying interest in their lives, parents and mentors can
powerfully impact a teenager's sense of self-worth. Chinwe shares
some touching real-life stories, illustrating these concepts.


Speaking Life: Encouraging Positivity


The concept of "Speaking Life" involves positively affirming a
teen's abilities and potential. Chinwe advises parents to be
specific when they praise their children, focusing on authentic
character traits, effort, and resilience, rather than empty
compliments. 


Parental Responses that May Harm


Sometimes, in our attempts to comfort or advise our kids, we
inadvertently dismiss their feelings or respond in ways that may
increase their distress. Chinwe highlights the importance of
avoiding invalidating statements and explains how approaches like
shaming, labeling, and dismissing can be detrimental. Instead,
she advocates for acknowledging and validating teens' experiences
to nurture trust and communication.


Understanding and Reshaping Negative Thoughts


Throughout the discussion, we delve into techniques for helping
teenagers manage negative thought patterns. Using the THINK
methodology, Chinwe outlines how teens can critically examine and
reframe their thoughts, promoting healthier mental states and
fostering resilience in the face of challenges.


Addressing Dark Thoughts


In her book, Chinwe provides insights on how to tackle one of the
most serious issues: suicidal thoughts. This section offers
parents critical guidance on responding with empathy and
obtaining the right support for their teens.


In the Episode...


Our conversation with Chinwe is packed with practical advice and
heartfelt reflections on supporting teenagers. On top of these
topics, we explore:


 The neuroscience behind why emotional support is
crucial

 Strategies to reduce anxiety and promote a growth
mindset

 How to engage in meaningful conversations with teens

 The role of non-biological mentors in a teen's life



If you’re ready to dive deeper into these concepts and enrich
your communication with your teenager, don’t miss this episode.
Reach out to Chinwe Williams on her website or Instagram for more
valuable insights. Thanks for tuning in! Don’t forget to
subscribe, and we’ll see you next week.





Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.