Ep 156: The Funny Thing About Depression…

John Moe, author of The Hilarious World of Depression, joins us
for a candid and surprisingly fun look at living with depression
and how to talk to teens about it.


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Full show notes


Dealing with depression is tough–whether you’re battling it
yourself or trying to help a teen who’s struggling. Depression
can distance us from friends and loved ones, cause us to stop
eating and sleeping and make things we once enjoyed seem
pointless. If left untreated, depression can even be
life-threatening.


As more and more people–especially teens– find themselves
struggling with depression in the midst of the pandemic, it’s
more tempting than ever to search for remedies to this
complicated condition. What can we do to make life with
depression more livable?


For some of us, the answer may lie in laughter. You read that
right. Laughter. Sometimes, in order to process our emotions and
make light of the things that plague us, the answers lie in
comedy! Joking about depression might not always be the most
conventional coping mechanism, but it can do wonders for making
such a terrifying, overwhelming illness more manageable on the
daily.


Our guest this week, John Moe, is no stranger to laughing his way
through tough times. He’s the author of The Hilarious World of
Depression and the host of the podcast Depresh Mode, where he
engages in interesting and introspective discussions with guests
about mental health and more!. As someone who’s lived with major
depressive disorder since his early teens, John knows that
helping a kid through depression is not easy. That’s why he’s
here to answer questions, give advice...and make us laugh!


Want to talk to your teen about depression but don’t know where
to start? We’re getting into having conversations about mental
health in this week’s episode. We’re also covering how you can
spot depression in a teen, and how a little humor can help you
and your teen work through the difficulties of depression
together.


Discussing Depression with Your Kids


Initiating a talk about mental health with teens can be a little
daunting...especially when teens would usually much rather scroll
through Instagram or watch Netflix than talk to us about
literally anything. But if we don’t try to have these
conversations with our kids, they might find themselves suffering
from depression or anxiety without being able to put a name to
those feelings. They may think they are alone, or that there’s
something wrong with them, when all they really need is some
professional help.


When sitting kids down for a chat, John suggests keeping things
open and transparent. In the episode, he shares a touching
anecdote from when he had a discussion about depression with his
own daughter! One of the biggest tips he has for parents is to
never dismiss the gravity of what teen’s are going through. It
can be easy to say things like “you’ll feel better when you’re
older” or “it’s not that big of a deal” when you’re trying to
provide comfort, but these kinds of statements can backfire when
teens feel invalidated.


Plus, mental illness isn’t just something one can ”think” their
way out of, John reminds us. In our interview, we talk about a
questionable sentiment that’s often applied to cancer–the idea
that if someone is just positive and tough enough, they won't
suffer so much. But cancer is certainly not cured just by having
a good attitude, John reminds us, and neither is depression. It
takes a professional to help treat an illness! This is important
to remember when breaking down depression for your teens.


Preparing kids for the possibility of depression is a great way
to keep them from feeling confused or isolated before they find
themselves struggling–but what about a teen who’s already dealing
with depression?


Is My Child Depressed?


Although depression affects everyone differently, there are some
signs we can look out for when watching for depression in our
teens. In the episode, John shares the story of his own personal
battle with depression, and how his wife noticed the signs before
he did. Even though he was isolating himself from friends,
constantly going through intense mood swings and losing sleep, he
didn’t think of himself as someone with depression.


His determination to avoid diagnosis stemmed from his
misconceptions about depression, he explains. Before becoming the
educated man he is today, John thought that depressed folks just
moped around all the time acting sad–and that didn’t sound like
him. Only after being diagnosed did he release that there is a
whole spectrum of symptoms that people with depression
experience!


When looking for signs of depression in a teen, John recommends
keeping an eye out for a sudden drop in grades or attendance.
It’s also wise to pay attention to their social patterns–are they
suddenly losing friends or staying home on the weekends when they
used to go out? If you’re noticing some of these signifiers, it
might be time to do some research or reach out for professional
help.


Finding a therapist, going on medication, or getting another form
of professional treatment is essential to helping teens get
better, but living with depression can still make daily life
harder. When you’re going through a dark time, John suggests
finding the light in laughter.


How Comedy Helps Us Cope


For John, and many of us, comedy is something we’ve indulged in
our whole lives. Growing up, we may have watched cartoons that
made us laugh or maybe, like John, tuned into SNL and Monty
Python for comedic relief. As John explains in the episode,
comedy helped ease his immigrant family’s transition to American
life. Humor helps us see the odd and contradictory parts of our
existence and gives us a chance to discuss contradictory and
confusing topics we might often sweep under the rug.


After his depression diagnosis, John turned to comedy to help him
process his feelings. One of the hardest parts of adjusting to
the diagnosis was feeling like he couldn't communicate just how
difficult things were–but he felt that within comedy and writing,
there was a chance for people like him to talk about things
through art! In fact, even if it isn’t comedy, he suggests teens
who are dealing with depression find some kind of hobby that
allows for self expression, like joining a band or picking up
painting!


Using humor to talk about depression can also chip away at the
stigmas that still stand around mental illness. Even if we’re
just joking around, we’re still encouraging discussion–and
reminding people that it’s ok not to be ok. As John explains in
the episode, the worst thing we can do is ignore the reality of
depression and anxiety, and allow people who may be suffering to
continue feeling like they have no solution or that they’re going
at it alone.


In the episode….


My interview with John was hilarious, yet helpful! Not only do we
share plenty of laughs this week, we also get to the heart of
handling serious mental health concerns. On top of the subjects
discussed above, we talk about…


Why teens can’t “achieve” their way out of depression

How we can get teens to be less dramatic

Why kids should think critically about depression in the
media

How finding a therapist is like ...