Ep 159: Breaking Down Anxiety

Dr. Judson Brewer, author of Unwinding Anxiety, explains how
anxiety is in fact a habit--one we can break. He shares insight
from his years of research to debunk the myths surrounding modern
views on anxiety and the truth about stopping the cycle.


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Full show notes


Anxiety is a pretty common feeling–you likely know how it feels
to have your heart suddenly race in your chest, your palms go
sweaty and your words turn to gibberish before a big presentation
or confrontation. Having these anxious feelings is bad enough
when it’s an isolated incident, but many of us–and our kids–might
be feeling anxiety every day! This could be caused by anything,
from eating to driving to social situations! For kids handling
school, sports, clubs, college apps and friendship drama, anxiety
may be a frequent presence keeping them from living their best
life.


It seems like this anxiety is simply an unavoidable, biological
force, but our guest this week is encouraging us to think about
anxious behaviors a little differently. Instead of viewing them
as something we have little control over, he’s telling us how
anxiety may actually just be a force of habit, and therefore
something we can change! Anxious responses follow the same
patterns as habits, are often caused by similar triggers, and, as
we’re discussing this week, can be treated in similar ways.


If you’re looking to heal you or your teen’s anxious patterns,
this is the episode for you! Our guest is Judson Brewer, author
of Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles
of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind. Judson is not only an
internationally renowned psychiatrist and neuroscientist, but
also the director of research and innovation at Brown’s
mindfulness center. His 2016 Ted Talk, tilted “A Simple Way to
Break a Bad Habit, has over 16 million views on youtube!


In our interview, we’re diving into how anxious tendencies act
just like habits–with triggers, behavior and rewards. Plus, we’re
getting into how you can understand and reflect on your own
behaviors, if you just have the courage to be curious.


How Anxiety Becomes Habitual


Our typical approach to anxiety requires us to see it as an
unmoving, impenetrable force...when in reality, it’s a habit we
can work on amending, says Judson. To understand how, Judson and
I are getting to the bottom of how habits form! In our interview,
Judson outlines the basic cycle of developing a habit.


It begins with a trigger, resulting in a behavior that yields a
reward. Once our brain determines how it can access this reward,
our minds will crave it again, and again, resulting in the
formation of a habit!


When we get anxious, our body starts the physiological and mental
process of worrying, which keeps us occupied. This response aids
the anxious feeling, and acts as a reward, says Judson. When we
find ourselves triggered by, say, a thunderstorm or a challenging
math test, we allow our minds to run rampant with worry, tap our
fingers nervously, and find ourselves unable to focus. The more
we lean into that worried response, the more it becomes a habit,
says Judson. Suddenly, unable to break the pattern, we find our
anxiety has come to run our lives!


Not to mention that nowadays, there are more reasons than ever
for parents to be anxious. Technology makes it so that we can
call teens any time to make sure they’re safe...but also means
that they can run loose on the internet, getting into dangerous
situations or posting incriminating stuff on social media. For
teens growing up in a media saturated world, anxiety-inducing
news and images are everywhere. No wonder it’s so easy for teens
and parents to fall into patterns of anxious behavior.


So we’ve figured out that our anxiety might be habitual….but how
can we take steps to help ourselves or our teen out of an anxious
cycle?


Developing Better Behaviors


If you want to revolutionize your life and ditch your anxiety (or
other bad habits), Judson encourages taking note of your own
behavior, and analyzing your findings!. Simply becoming aware of
what triggers you and how you tend to respond can lead to
healthier habits. If you can really hone in on the reward at
hand–in this case, anxiety relief– you may find that there are
better, healthier approaches than just worrying like crazy!


Judson also points to a trio of personality classifications that
may help you understand your anxiety response–fight, flight, or
freeze. While some people dive head in when confronted with a
stressful issue, others are more avoidant, while others still
find themselves essentially paralyzed with the inability to make
a choice, leaving them frozen. Figuring out which category you or
your teen falls under can help you to understand and amend your
own coping mechanisms.


Interestingly, Judson insists that you can’t really break a habit
out of sheer willpower. In his work with patients who are
struggling with addiction, he’s found that self reflection is
much more effective!


For example, for those who are addicted to cigarettes, Judson
encourages them to really pay attention to their smoking
experience. Most of the time, clients report back saying they
realized how bad cigarettes taste and smell, how they just return
to feeling stressed a few minutes after smoking. This leads them
to quit, when they realize the “reward” of smoking just isn’t
worth it.


Whether it’s cigarettes, vapes, or junk food, we may notice that
our teens have fallen into some unfortunate habits. In the
episode, Judson and I talk about how you can encourage teens to
change by prompting them to be curious and giving them the steps
to process their anxiety.


Helping Teens with Bad Habits


It’s not always easy to get teens to think critically about their
own behavior, but if we can harness their natural curiosity, we
might be able to get them to change their perspective and work on
unhealthy habits. Judson explains how teens can often be reactive
and criticize their own behavior pretty harshly, but if we
encourage them to be thoughtful instead, they may adopt a growth
mindset. Judson explains this further in our interview.


In addition, Judson lays out a few steps for a teen who’s
struggling with a bad habit, addiction, or serious anxiety. He
shares an acronym with us that he uses to help patients: RAIN.
The R stands for recognizing and relaxing and the A stands for
allow. This means when a wave of anxiety or a craving for
cigarettes comes over your teen, panicking or quickly distracting
themselves won’t help–they need to recognize the feeling and sit
with it, says Judson.


The ‘I’ stands for investigate, which means searching for the
trigger or cause of the feeling. If teens can identify what’s
causing the problem, they can work on removing that person, place
or thing from their daily life! Finally, the N stands for note,
which means studying how they feel, examining the “reward”
created by the unhealthy habit. As Judson and I repeat throughout
the interview, it’s so important to reflect on our behavior if we
want what’s best for ourselves and our teens.


In the Episode...


Judson’s perspective on anxiety is refreshing and thought
provoking! It was a pleasure to talk to him about how we can all
develop heal...