Ep 170: The Effects of Screentime and How to Deal with It

Alex J. Packer, author of Slaying Digital Dragons, joins us for a
look at technology’s effects on our physical, mental, and social
health, and how we can control our own tech use, and not let it
control us!


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Full show notes


For parents, technology can be quite the headache. We want kids
to stay connected to the world, but is their iphone distracting
them from school? Is all the time spent on social media making
them depressed or anxious? Should we be limiting their screen
time, blocking websites or supervising them while they’re
scrolling through Tik Tok? At this point, it’s tempting to just
throw their phones in the trash and forbid them from going on the
computer at all!





But if we try to set rules or even just tell them to put the
phone down, they’re suddenly slamming the door in our faces or
rolling their eyes. Even when we have the best intentions, trying
to monitor teen’s tech use can turn into a cycle of nagging and
arguing. If we’re going to escape all the bickering, we’ve got to
convince teens to make the change for themselves, instead of
trying to force them to budge.





Our guest this week is not only an expert on how screens are
affecting budding minds, but also has some seriously smart tips
for talking to teens about it all. Alex J. Packer spent 14 years
as President and CEO of FCD Educational Services, the leading
nonprofit providing drug education and substance abuse prevention
services for schools across the world. His new book, Slaying
Digital Dragons: Tips and Tools for Protecting Your Body, Brain,
Psyche, and Thumbs from the Digital Dark Side, touches on a new
kind of addiction–the compulsive use of screens in our society,
particularly amongst young adults.


In our interview, we’re diving deep into the harmful effects of
tech on teens, and getting into how to help kids cleanse
themselves of toxic tech habits.


Why We Should Be Worried About Teens’ Tech Use





Although you may have heard about the negative effects of too
much screen time, it can be easy to just dismiss these ideas as
myths. If your teen doesn’t seem to be struggling with anything
as a result of their new iphone, should you really be worried?
According to Alex, you definitely should be. In our interview,
he’s laying out several concerning effects of too much tech
use–some social, some physical, some psychological and some
emotional!





One of the most commonly discussed conundrums of the social media
age is the tendency for young adults (and everyone else) to
become rather obsessed with online popularity and image. Teens
have been concerned with popularity since teenagerhood was
invented, but social media has taken the adolescent quest for
social status from the high school halls right into your child’s
bedroom, says Alex. Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat cause teens
to think about their status 24/7, by constantly reminding them
about likes, shares and followers. No wonder our kids are so
stressed out!





There are also plenty of physical effects brought about by all
the screen time. Teens (and parents!) can suffer from intense eye
strain from spending so much time staring at their tiny phone
screens. Alex also explains an issue he calls “tech neck” or the
pain, soreness, and bad posture we experience as a result of
hunching over our laptops and ipads. There’s the possibility of
pain in hand and fingers, but most concerning of all to Alex is
the risk to our sleep. In the episode, he explains further why we
should be very worried about the effects of screens on our
ability to sleep.





The constant stimulation of screens is also a consistent
psychological problem, says Alex. It tends to trigger our fight
or flight response, which activates our nervous system.
Continuously aggravating our body this way leads to chronic
stress, which not only affects our bodily health, but our minds
as well. Teens might find themselves struggling to focus or
remember things, leading their academic performance to falter.





Plus, Alex says there’s science to suggest that having so many
devices is affecting teens’ social skills. Research shows that
teenagers these days aren’t as comfortable socializing face to
face. They aren't as capable of solving conflict or expressing
themselves, Alex explains. In the episode, Alex and I discuss how
this can become a cycle: teens don’t socialize in person, and
find socializing online easier...meaning they are discouraged
from talking to peers in the real world and continue chatting on
the internet instead.





Now that we’re familiar with the problems tech can cause our
teens, Alex helps us discover some solutions!



Getting Teens to Actually Talk About Tech





It can be pretty tricky to have constructive talks with teens
about anything, but their phones and computers are an especially
tough topic. Teens tend to dislike the suggestion that they
should lay off their screens for any amount of time! Trying to
restrict the sites they visit can also be challenging, as teens
are pretty determined to have as much independence as possible.





Alex suggests shifting energy away from the power struggle, and
instead attempting to create a partnership around tech use.
Teenagers will never react well to someone trying to establish
control, says Alex. Instead, if you can get teens to understand
that you’re on their side, you’ll be much more successful, he
explains. 





To start, Alex recommends asking teens some questions to prompt
them to think critically about the ways they use their devices.
Do they find that they struggle to sleep after using their
computers late at night? How often do they look at their phones
when they're socializing with friends in person? Do they tend to
look towards their tech when they’re sad or bored? And does it
really make them feel better….or do they just end up feeling
worse? These questions are some of the first steps teens can take
to becoming increasingly self aware about their technology use.





It can also be really helpful to educate teens about the effects
of too much tech. They may not realize how much their bodies and
minds are being shaped by the technology they use every single
day. Once parents explain, teens might make the connection
between their own habits and their lack of sleep, or their
frequent anxiety, says Alex.





In the episode,  Alex explains how teens can perform what he
calls an “app-endectomy”. This is a multi-step process teens can
use to cleanse themselves to their toxic tech habits. It starts
with teens asking reflective questions about their tech use to
understand where they might be going wrong. Then Alex recommends
they set one achievable goal, so as not to overwhelm
themselves–like aiming to put their phone away two hours before
bedtime every night. Alex explains the next steps to this proven
method in our interview!





He emphasizes that teens tend to model the behavior of parents.
This means that if parents are on their phones at the dinner
table, kids will be too. If you want to create a certain culture
around technology in your home, Alex suggests starting by
exhibiting healthy patterns yourself!





In the Episode…


There are so many useful tips for parents to tackle tech in this
week’s...