Ep 176: Parenting to Prevent Bias

Christia Spears Brown, PhD, author of Unraveling Bias, explains
how prejudice develops in children, even if we don’t teach it to
them. In this episode, we’ll learn how to have conversations
about equality in our own homes.


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Full show notes


Talking about discrimination is pretty complicated and scary…so
sometimes we just don’t! We hope that if we just don’t mention
offensive stereotypes or racist notions to our kids, they won’t
develop prejudiced thinking. We’ll remind them that everyone is
equal, and just pray that their schooling will do the rest. If we
wouldn’t know what to say in a conversation about discrimination,
it’s better to just abstain…right?





As much as we might wish for our kids to naturally grow up
without bias, studies show that it’s bound to happen. Influences
from TV, movies, video games and social media can shape the way
young minds think. When young people see racist and sexist
stereotypes in the media, they don’t know any better but to
believe it! If we don’t teach them to think critically about what
they see, they might end up with life-long beliefs about race and
gender that can hurt both themselves and those around them. 





To learn more about why we need a discrimination conversation–and
how to have it–we’re talking to Dr. Christia Spears Brown, author
of Unraveling Bias: How Prejudice Has Shaped Children for
Generations and Why It's Time to Break the Cycle. She’s been
researching the development of discriminatory beliefs in children
and adolescents for nearly 30 years! Through her work, she’s
discovered the real reason kids grow up with bias. Today, she’s
providing us with proven ways we can combat prejudice in our own
families.





In this episode, we’re diving into the psychological origins of
bias in adolescents. We’re also getting into how we can change
our dialogue about gender, sexuality, and family to create a more
equitable world.



Parenting to Prevent Racial Bias





Although kids don’t intend to develop discriminatory opinions,
they are often influenced by what they see in the media and the
world around them. When Black and Latino men are portrayed as
criminals on TV, or their favorite video game features
exaggerated stereotypes of Asian culture, they don’t know any
better but to believe it. They’ll take these influences in
without thinking critically, unless they’re taught to, Dr. Brown
says.





This is largely a result of certain evolutionary brain patterns
that have been heavily steered by our society’s thinking, says
Dr. Brown. We do have an innate tendency to categorize people,
because sorting individuals into “friend” and “foe” has allowed
us to survive as a species. Plus, the world can be very
overwhelming to a young mind, and sorting people into categories
can help kids process it all. But why don’t we have
discriminatory opinions about people with different eye colors?
Why is it so often about race?





Dr. Brown explains that this particular phenomenon has occurred
as a result of societal influence. Because we put so much
importance on racial differences, kids learn to sort individuals
by race. Kids are still developing their understanding of the
world, so when they see discrimination happening, they start to
think that racial divisions must be necessary or proper. This is
not because their parents taught them to think so, but simply
because it’s what they’re observing in our racially divided
society. In the episode, Dr. Brown and I talk at length about how
you can intervene to stop this belief, and help your kid develop
a less prejudiced view of the people around them.





But what about gender? Do kids develop beliefs about gender as
part of a natural process, or is it created by external
influences?





How Subtle Cues About Gender Have Serious
Effects





Girls are just as capable as boys are at math and science…so why
do they so often believe they can’t measure up? Dr. Brown says
that young men and boys show high rates of confidence in their
math abilities, while women are much more likely to have intense
anxiety surrounding mathematical activities. Girls tend to
exhibit underconfidence when math is involved, and often don’t
raise their hands, even when they’re sure they have the answer,
Dr. Brown tells us.





Where does this lack of confidence come from? Dr. Brown explains
that it develops over time as a response to subtle notions about
female inferiority. Studies show that parents are much more
likely to ask female students if they need help with math
homework over male students. Educators often attribute male
success at math to natural brain power, while young women are
told that the reason they aced a math test was because they
studied really hard, says Dr. Brown. Although adults aren’t aware
of these subtle cues, they often come from our unconscious mind,
she explains.





Schools play a part in this problem as well, says Dr. Brown. When
kids are asked to name a male genius, they’ve got plenty of names
on the backburner. But when prompted to come up with a female
genius, kids are usually stumped. Dr. Brown suggests that the
origin of this issue is the posters that we choose to hang up in
our classrooms and libraries. They so often idolize white men,
says Dr. Brown, and rarely ever show some diversity! Studies show
that when these posters change, kids are more capable of listing
women and people of color who’ve made valuable contributions.





A little representation goes a long way. Dr. Brown and I continue
to discuss the importance of visibility in our conversation.



Why Visibility Matters


For kids who are still developing self esteem, it’s important to
know that no matter their race, gender or sexuality, they can
live a happy and successful life. Dr. Brown explains that this is
especially critical for young people within the LGBTQ+ community.
Kids who have these identities are statistically much more likely
to develop depression and suicidal tendencies. Reading books and
interacting with media that exhibits positive representations of
life as a gay person can be very impactful, says Dr. Brown.





Young women are also often dissuaded from their ambitions because
of lack of visibility, Dr. Brown explains. Girls on TV are either
pigeonholed as being sexy and popular, or smart and
educated–without the possibility of being both. This means that
some girls stop trying to get the answers right on tests or keep
their good grades hidden, because they’re scared of being
categorized as smart instead of likable. The more you can
encourage young women to think critically about this stereotype,
the better, says Dr. Brown.





Boys have been shown to develop these same stereotypes about
women, leading to sexism that pervades into adult life. It’s
equally as important for young boys to see women in power as it
is for young girls to see it, Dr. Brown explains. If you can put
intentionality behind the kind of things your kids are exposed
to, it can be a critical way to help them create more realistic
and empowering images of people of all genders, races, and
sexualites.



In the Episode…


With Dr. Brown’s advice, we can take steps to shape the next
generation into powerful advocates of equality. On top of the...