Ep 181: How to Use Mystery to Motivate Teens

Jonah Lehrer, author of Mystery, explains why the unknown is so
tantalizing, we just can’t seem to resist. Turns out, we all
could use a bit more uncertainty in our data-driven world,
because curiosity is a powerful driving force in our lives.


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Full show notes


As parents and people, we tend to seek out certainty. We keep our
kids in the same schools so they can have consistent friends. We
cook the same group of recipes, so we’re sure to have something
ready for dinner without too much stress. And we encourage our
kids to study hard so they'll be sure to get good grades, get
into a good college, and get a good job. We feel that if things
are certain, we can live comfortably without worrying about our
teens too much…even if it can get a little boring!





But what about mystery? Could adding a little bit of
unpredictability into our lives make us happier? Might it prepare
our teens better for the complicated world ahead? The truth is
that uncertainty can be good for us…even if we try our best to
make our lives predictable! Our guest this week champions
uncertainty…in fact, he believes we should all encourage
ourselves and our teens to incorporate a little mystery into our
lives.





This week, we’re sitting down with Jonah Lehrer, author of
Mystery: A Seduction, A Strategy, A Solution. Jonah is a
neuroscientist who’s written multiple bestselling books, as well
as contributed to The New York Times, Washington Post, Wall
Street Journal and more! After discovering his son’s fascination
with mystery, Jonah dove into research about the effects of
unpredictability on the adolescent mind. Now, he’s here to talk
about just how powerful uncertainty can be!





In our interview, Jonah explains why curiosity is an essential
component of effective teen learning, and we discuss the
importance of experiencing awe for both adolescents and adults.
Plus, Jonah emphasizes the significance of living with
uncertainty instead of searching for finite answers.



Curiosity is Critical


If we really want kids to be engaged in their education, Jonah
believes curiosity is key. Kids who are interested in the
mysterious and unknown are much more likely to find a 
connection to learning! Research shows that curiosity is the
number one indicator of a strong school performance–even beyond a
teen’s ability to focus. And curiosity isn’t just something kids
are born with. It can be fostered, says Jonah. 





In fact, the ability to foster curiosity is one of the reasons
why the wealth gap is so prevalent in our education system, he
explains. Parents with more disposable income have the cash to
take kids to the aquarium for the weekend, or buy kids books.
However, this can change if we encourage curiosity in schools,
says Jonah. The problem, he explains, is that we don’t! Our
current school system tends to push memorization instead of
critical thinking, avoiding mystery in favor of certainty. This
limits kids to only understanding certain aspects of the subject
at hand, Jonah says. 





In our interview, we discuss The Noble Academy, a system of
charter schools in Chicago that places curiosity at the forefront
of it’s curriculum. Kids are provided with complex problems and
asked to solve them with groups of their peers. This method
encourages teens to take intellectual risks and embrace the
unknown, leaving the memorization behind. And the result? These
students outperform the others on state standardized tests. In
the episode, Jonah and I talk further about how curiosity has the
power to transform education. 





When we engage in curiosity, we often find ourselves with a sense
of awe. This awe can have incredible implications in the lives of
both parents and teens, says Jonah.





Why We Need a Sense of Wonder





What is awe, exactly? Jonah explains that it’s different for
every person. For teens taking their first steps into maturity,
awe might come from their first time driving or their first kiss.
But it could also be a vacation, a beautiful sunset, or anything
that pushes them out of their bubble and into a new experience!
Jonah explains that awe can be a really powerful way of gaining
perspective, and pushing our kids towards awe-inspiring
environments can help them prosper as they grow into adults.





Awe can help teens become kinder people, says Jonah, as they
learn to enjoy the unfamiliar. It can make them more accepting of
the inevitable unpredictability that comes with life. Finding
healthy ways of experiencing awe can also help teens from seeking
out thrills in risky behavior. Teens are drawn to exploring
higher emotions and big ideas, says Jonah, and a trip to the
Grand Canyon is a much safer way of experiencing wonder than drug
use, Jonah explains.





For parents, awe can often be hard to achieve! We’ve seen and
done so much–what possible unknown could shake us to our core? In
the episode, Jonah and I talk about mastery, and how becoming
skilled and efficient at whatever it is we do can make our lives
feel pretty stale. He encourages parents to try doing something
they’ve never done before, something mysterious that makes
learning fun. In doing so, we can connect the awe of our inner
child, says Jonah.





In our discussion about awe, Jonah and I are talking about games!
But not just Monopoly or Go Fish…we’re discussing the difference
between finite and infinite games, and how infinite games can
change our lives.



How We Can Embrace Ambiguity


When we play video games, board games, or even sports, we are
mostly intrigued by the possibility of winning. In the majority
of games, there is a finite ending–Mario saves Peach, someone
takes the king on the chessboard, one team scores the most goals.
But what about games that are infinite? What if you played
baseball without keeping score? Jonah explains that if there’s no
specified goal, the game can be played just for the sake of
playing–and learning.





Jonah explains that these kinds of games don’t just have to be a
conventional “game” like Uno or hockey. They are found in
everyday life, in things like kids building legos or reading a
sophisticated novel. There isn’t a way to win, only ways to
explore. In our interview, Jonah and I talk about how social
media has the potential to be an infinite game, by giving people
the ability to interact and share with millions of other
people...but ends up being finite because of “likes” and
“followers”.





Parents often want teens to have finite ideas about where they’re
going to college, what they want to study, and who they want to
be. But Jonah recommends that instead of pushing teens to have
all the answers, we should be encouraging them to embrace the
unknown. Life is going to throw them plenty of curveballs! The
more we can help them learn to roll with the unpredictability,
the more they’ll be able to thrive when they step out into
adulthood.



In the Episode…


There’s so much we can learn from Jonah’s understanding of the
mind. On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about:


What slot machines can teach us about our brains

Why personalities are more fluid than we think

What Steve Jobs and a piñata have in common

How sports rules create...