Ep 208: Motivation, Dedication and the Warrior Mentality

D.J. Vanas, author of The Warrior Within, reveals how teens can
find purpose, develop resilience, and maintain motivation by
adopting the community-focused mentality of a Native American
Warrior.


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Full show notes


What comes to your mind when you think of a warrior? A sweaty,
grizzled hunk swinging a sword around? A brave air force pilot in
aviator sunglasses? 





Although we might think warriors are battle-hungry and reckless,
some traditional Native American cultures have a completely
different view. Instead, Warriors are pillars of the community:
service-oriented, passionate, and hard-workers who are always
ready to give back to those they love. No matter our cultural
background, this version of a warrior is something our teens can
take inspiration from. 





To help us pass on this new warrior mentality to our kids, we’re
speaking with D.J. Vanas, member of the Ottawa Tribe of Michigan
and author of The Warrior Within: Own Your Power to Serve, Fight,
Protect, and Heal. D.J. is a powerhouse speaker for Fortune 500
companies, hundreds of tribal nations, and audiences nationwide.
His ideas have been adopted by companies like Disney, P&G,
Intel, and even NASA!





This week, D.J. explains how teens can embody a warrior mentality
and define their values, vision, passions, and purpose in the
process. We’re also highlighting the difference between good and
bad growing pains, and discussing how teens can stay focused in a
world full of distractions.



Values and Vision


To give back to their communities, kids first need to figure out
what exactly it is they want to contribute! The first step is for
teens to define their values, says D.J. 





Some teens want a life that incorporates love and compassion.
Others may be driven by curiosity or the need for intellectual
discovery. Whatever their values are, teens will benefit from
deciding which principles to live their life by! This can help
them pick and choose what people, places and things they want to
welcome into their life–and which  ones can be respectfully
removed. When we know what our values are, we can eliminate the
things that don’t align with them!





D.J. also encourages teens to ask themselves the big questions:
What do I want to create in this world? What do I want to leave
behind? How do I want to be remembered? Although these questions
can feel intimidating or scary, D.J. reminds us that warriors are
courageous! If teens are brave enough to ask these questions,
they’ll be one step closer to uncovering their purpose.





Some teens do know what they want to do with themselves… but
don’t have the confidence to believe in their dreams. D.J. and I
talk about how this lack of confidence often comes from being
criticized or put down by others. Young kids are so certain that
they’ll become an astronaut or the president of the United
States, but are dissuaded as they grow up, leading them to feel
incapable or lost by their teen years. In our interview, D.J.
reveals how we can help teens push past this criticism and
believe in themselves!





For teens still figuring it all out, there’s bound  to be
some growing pains involved. Some pain is healthier than others,
however! D.J. and I are discussing what healthy growing pain
looks like, and how teens can work through it and come out on
top.



Persevering Through Growing Pains


Good growing pain is the kind that helps teens learn. It pushes
them to become stronger, more resilient people, says D.J.
Disappointment, embarrassment and failure are all painful
experiences, but they're necessary for growth. 





But when teens focus too much on these painful experiences and
allow the hurt to take over their lives, they can shut down, lose
their creativity and find themselves at a dead end. This is the
bad pain, says D.J., and it’s characterized by rumination and
fear. 





D.J. explains that fear plays a big role in our lives as we’re
growing up, and it’s up to teens to face it with courage. He
explains that fear can sometimes cause teens to rewrite reality
and believe they’re doomed! When a classmate or teacher
criticizes  teens' work, they might let their fear of
failure overwhelm them, and get stuck in a pattern of believing
they’re not good enough. But if they have the courage to be
resilient in the face of rejection, they’ll pick up their pen and
start again, leading them to grow instead of getting stuck.
Warriors are persistent enough to power through painful
experiences–and your teen can too!





If we want to help teens face their negative emotions, D.J.
recommends that we bring some positivity into the picture. He
suggests we point out their strong qualities, applaud their hard
work and praise their dedication, even when they’re facing
failure! This reminds them just how capable they really are. In
the episode, D.J. and I discuss more ways you can help a teen
who’s feeling bogged down by negativity.





For teens in today’s world, focus can be a challenge as well.
D.J. is helping us see how a warrior mentality can help teens cut
out distractions and stay motivated.


Maintaining Motivation


Between school, SAT prep, soccer practice and student government,
It’s easy for teens to overbook themselves. It’s hard to focus on
any one thing…and having 24/7 access to the distracting internet
doesn't help. D.J. suggests that kids learn how to say no to
things that aren’t aligned with their values and purpose, like a
true warrior! This keeps teens from getting overwhelmed and
allows them to focus on what’s really important to them. When we
focus on the right thing, we can create something incredible…but
when we try to focus on everything, we often end up with nothing,
says D.J.





D.J. and I talk a lot about motivation in our interview–and how
it has to come from within. Friends, bosses and teachers won’t
give teens the motivation they need; they have to create it
themselves. Intentionally developing the right habits and
surrounding themselves with the other motivated people will help
teens keep their motivation going! In our interview, D.J. and I
discuss how parents’ praise can be helpful to a teen who’s
struggling to stay motivated or focused.





When someone is expecting us to deliver, we often work harder and
achieve more than we ever would on our own, says D.J. This is
called accountability, and it has a pretty powerful effect on our
productivity! D.J. proposes that parents hold teens accountable
for achieving their goals…and ask teens to hold parents
accountable as well! This two-way system helps teens learn
responsibility and creates a bond of accountability between
parent and child, says D.J. 





In the Episode…





D.J is such an intelligent and powerful individual, and his
brilliance shines through in today’s episode! On top of the
topics mentioned above, we also talk about:


How we can benefit from mentoring others

What questions we can ask besides “how was school?”

How teens can find their tribe

Why self care is essential when caring for others



If you enjoy this week’s episode, you can find more from D.J. at
nativediscovery.com...