Ep 235: The Hidden Power of High Sensitivity

Jenn Granneman, author of Sensitive, chats with us about
recognizing and connecting with our highly sensitive teens. We
cover how to help sensitive teens better manage feelings of
overwhelm and the right way to nudge them beyond their comfort
zone.


Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.


Full show notes
When a teen slams a door after not getting their way, or bursts
into tears at a throwaway comment, parents might feel like every
interaction with their teen ends in hysterics. Other times
parents might worry their sensitive teen will have trouble making
friends or being in groups because they are easily overwhelmed.
But sensitivity, shyness, and introversion are not flaws. 





It can be difficult for parents to see their teen struggling with
sensitivity. They may feel frustrated or helpless, not knowing
how to help their child. It can also be difficult for them to
relate to their child's experience if they themselves are more
extroverted and don't fully understand what it's like to be shy
or introverted.





Children who are sensitive may be at higher risk for anxiety and
depression, and may struggle with social skills throughout their
lives if they don't receive proper support. It's important for
parents to help their child build confidence and develop social
skills, not just for their immediate well-being but for their
long-term success and happiness.





To understand more about this topic, we spoke with Jenn
Granneman, co-author of the book Sensitive: The Hidden Power of
the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World, and
founder of Introvert, Dear, a website and community for
introverts. Jenn is an introvert herself and has struggled with
shyness and social anxiety throughout her life. She has dedicated
her career to helping other introverts embrace their true selves
and thrive in a world that can sometimes feel overwhelming to
them.



Introverted, or Just Shy?


To better understand shyness and introversion, Jenn Granneman
explains the difference between the two. While shyness is a fear
of social judgment, introversion is a preference for solitude and
reflection. Jenn notes that shyness is often seen as a negative
trait, but she argues that it is simply a personality trait like
any other. However, shyness can lead to negative consequences
such as missing out on opportunities and feeling isolated.





Introversion, on the other hand, is often misunderstood as being
shy, but it is not the same thing. Introverts can be confident
and social, but they simply prefer to spend time alone or in
small groups. Jenn notes that society often values extroversion
over introversion, which can lead to introverts feeling like they
don't fit in or are not as valued.





Jenn emphasizes that shyness and introversion are not things that
need to be "fixed" or "cured." Rather, it's important to
understand and accept these traits in ourselves and others. By
doing so, we can create a more inclusive and understanding
society.





To help parents understand their shy or introverted children,
Jenn suggests paying attention to their child's behavior and
respecting their boundaries. She notes that introverted children
may need more alone time to recharge, while shy children may need
more encouragement and support to face their fears.



Supporting a Sensitive Child


Supporting a sensitive child can be challenging, but there are
ways to help them thrive. By validating your child's feelings,
creating a safe environment, teaching coping strategies, and
seeking outside support when needed, parents can help their
sensitive children thrive and lead fulfilling lives.





First, it's important to validate their feelings and let them
know it's okay to be sensitive. This can help them feel accepted
and understood, which can boost their confidence. Creating a safe
and comfortable environment at home is also crucial.
Sensory-sensitive children may need a quiet space to relax, while
socially-sensitive children may benefit from smaller social
settings. It's important to respect your child's boundaries and
not force them to do things that make them uncomfortable. 





Parents can also help their sensitive children develop coping
strategies, such as deep breathing, visualization, and positive
self-talk. Encouraging creative outlets, such as art or writing,
can also be helpful for self-expression.





Finally, it's important to seek outside support when necessary. A
therapist or counselor can work with your child to develop coping
mechanisms and build self-esteem, while support groups can
provide a community of like-minded individuals who can offer
advice and encouragement.



In the Episode…


I learned so much from my conversation with Jenn, and as an
introvert I came away from our conversation with a better idea of
my own needs as well as those of sensitive teens. In our
conversation we also discuss:


How to utilize loving detachment

The different types of sensitivity

What a relationship deficit

The right time to push a sensitive out of their comfort zone



If you enjoyed Jenn’s contributions as much as I, you can find
her on social media as well as her two websites, Introvert Dear
and Sensitive Refuge.


Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.