Ep 238: The Advantages of Being a Beginner

Tom Vanderbilt, author of Beginners, discusses with us how
parents can inspire their teenagers to be more confident in
trying new things by being lifelong learners themselves. Turns
out, being an expert beginner has its advantages!





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that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
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Full show notes


As parents, it's easy to get into a rut of only doing things
we're already good at, or activities we've been doing for years.
Yet our teens are essentially beginners at everything. And
sometimes it becomes difficult to encourage them to try new
things. Being a beginner can get old quickly—it’s hard work!



One of the biggest challenges parents may face is encouraging
their teenager to step outside of their comfort zone. It's easy
to get stuck in routines and habits, and teenagers are no
exception. The problem is that this can lead to a lack of
confidence in trying new things and can hinder their long-term
growth and development. This can leave parents—who maybe haven’t
been beginners in a long time—unsure of how to best help their
teens.



To understand this, I spoke this week with Tom Vanderbilt, author
of Beginners: The Joy and Transformative Power of Lifelong
Learning.  As a parent himself, Tom found that he was
spending a lot of time on the sidelines watching his daughter try
new things and learn new skills. It wasn't until he realized that
he wasn't doing the same for himself that he decided to become a
beginner again. This sparked his journey into exploring the
benefits of being a beginner and how it can positively impact
parenting.



In our interview, Tom points out it’s important for parents to
get out of their ruts and try new things because they are the
primary role models for their teenagers. If parents are stuck in
their own ways and not willing to try new things, it sends a
message to their teens that it's okay to do the same. On the
other hand, if parents are willing to step out of their comfort
zones and try new things, it shows their teens that it's never
too late to learn and grow.



Tom suggests a handful of perspectives and outlooks parents can
try to help their teens try new things. First, embrace being a
beginner. As parents, sometimes it feels like we have to have all
the answers for our kids. But it's okay to not know everything
and be a beginner. In fact, embracing being a beginner can be a
positive experience for both parents and their teenagers. It can
help parents model resilience and perseverance when faced with
challenges, and show their teens that it's okay to struggle with
something new.



Secondly, Tom says parents can use being a beginner as an
opportunity to bond with their teenagers. Taking on challenges
together can be a fun and rewarding experience for both parties,
and can help parents and teens build stronger relationships. It
can also help parents understand the challenges their teenagers
face when trying new things, and provide a supportive environment
for them to grow and learn. Plus, mustering through a challenge
together can create lasting memories and missteps to laugh about
together later. 



Being a beginner is not only important for personal growth but
also for parenting. By embracing being a beginner and taking on
challenges together, parents can inspire their teenagers to be
more confident in trying new things and can build stronger
relationships with them.



In the interview, we also discussed several other topics,
including:


The advantages of the beginner’s mindset

The importance of the process over the outcome when learning
something new

Why college students are like kindergartners 

How to leverage a growth mindset to overcome fear of failure



It was so fun speaking with Tom, and a blast to learn from
Beginners of all kinds in his book! To follow along with what Tom
is up to, check out links in his bio. Thanks for listening and
we’ll catch you next week. 


Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.