Ep 247: The Surprising Benefits of an Idle Summer

Pam Lobley, author of Why Can’t We Just Play?, tells the story of
how she got her family’s summer schedule under control and
created a stronger bond with her kids by embracing the notion of
“doing nothing.” 


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Full Show Notes


In today's fast-paced world, the life of a teenager often mirrors
the hustle and bustle of adulthood. With a calendar filled to the
brim with school, extracurricular activities, and social
commitments, the notion of "free time" seems like a relic of the
past. But what if the secret to balance, happiness, and
creativity for our teens lies in embracing the art of doing
nothing?


This week on Talking to Teens, we delve into a topic that's at
once revolutionary and nostalgic: the profound impact of stepping
back to a simpler time when kids had the freedom to play without
agendas or supervision. Joining us is Pam Lobley, a comedic
actress turned author, whose intriguing experiment and subsequent
book, "Why Can't We Just Play," brings forth valuable insights
for modern-day parents striving to raise well-rounded and
resilient teenagers.


The Lost Art of Free Play


Pam shares the story of how a casual conversation and the
visceral reaction of her own children to an over-scheduled life
led her to conduct a summer-long experiment with her family,
stepping back into the ideals of the 1950s. This was a time when
kids had the license to be kids, roaming free, inventing games,
and discovering the world at their pace. The experiment, though
challenging in a world that equates busyness with productivity,
revealed surprising benefits not only for her children but for
Pam herself.


Facing Modern Parenting Pressures


In our discussion, we explore the societal pressures that compel
us to keep our teens always "on the go." Pam elucidates how this
relentless scheduling might stem from a place of love and fear of
them falling behind, yet it strips away crucial developmental
opportunities. Learning to embrace periods of unstructured time
can be transformative for teenagers, providing them with space to
cultivate imagination, independence, and problem-solving skills.


Letting Go of Control


One of the most poignant aspects of Pam's narrative is the
realization of how relinquishing control can foster a sense of
responsibility and autonomy in teenagers. By allowing her
children the freedom to choose their activities and manage their
boredom, Pam witnessed an evolution in how they approached their
free time and tackled the inevitable challenges of growing up.


Navigating Judgement and Social Norms


Pam and I also discuss the inevitable scrutiny that comes with
choosing a less conventional parenting path. She shares her
strategies for maintaining conviction in her choices despite
societal expectations and the judgment of peers. This segment is
particularly enlightening for parents who may feel isolated in
their desire to defy the "over-scheduled" status quo.


In the Episode…


Our conversation with Pam Lobley is brimming with anecdotes,
reflections, and advice that urge parents to reconsider the merit
of downtime in their teenager's lives. If you're curious about
the impact of "doing nothing" and the potential it holds for
nurturing happier, more imaginative teenagers, this episode is
for you.


Also, don't miss discussions on:


The challenge of finding balance in a digitally saturated
age.

Practical tips for instituting "free play" time in your
family.

How to communicate the value of unstructured time to
teenagers.

Long-term benefits of embracing a slower-paced childhood.



Give this thought-provoking episode a listen and discover the
unexpected joys of allowing teens to sometimes do absolutely
nothing. Subscribe to Talking to Teens for more insights into the
art and science of parenting teenagers.





Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.