Ep 255: How Much Should Parents Push?

Jennifer Breheny Wallace, author of Never Enough, shares insight
into modern day “achievement culture.” We discuss the hidden
consequences of pushing teens too hard, and how to help teens
balance achievement and fulfillment.





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Full Show Notes


Parenting teenagers in today's world comes with a unique set of
challenges, not least of which is the increasing pressure on
teens to excel in all areas of their lives. From school
achievements to extracurricular activities, our teens are
bombarded with the message that they need to do more, be more,
and achieve more just to matter. But what if the secret to
raising healthy, happy, and successful teenagers is not about
pushing them to achieve more but helping them understand that
they already matter?


In this eye-opening episode of Talking to Teens, we're delving
deep into the world of high-achieving teens and the often toxic
culture surrounding their quest for success. We're joined by
Jenny Wallace, a seasoned journalist who has spent the last four
years investigating the rise of toxic achievement culture across
America. Jenny's work, including hundreds of interviews with
teenagers, parents, and experts, culminates in her latest book,
Never Enough, which aims to shed light on this pressing issue and
offer practical solutions for parents.


Jenny brings a wealth of experience to the table, having worked
as a journalist for 60 minutes and frequently contributed to The
Wall Street Journal and The Washington Post. As a parent of three
teenagers herself, Jenny's insights are not only research-based
but deeply personal, making her guidance invaluable for anyone
navigating the complex world of teen parenting today.


The Weight of Achievement


Jenny begins by addressing the mounting evidence suggesting that
teenagers attending high-achieving schools are at an increased
risk for anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. She
discusses the pervasive "never enough" mentality that drives
teens to prioritize achievements over their well-being, often at
a significant cost. By shining a light on this issue, Jenny hopes
to encourage parents to reevaluate how they define success for
their teenagers.


The Power of Mattering


At the heart of Jenny's message is the concept of
mattering—ensuring that our teens feel valued for who they are,
not just what they accomplish. Jenny's research reveals a stark
reality: many teens believe their parents value their
achievements more than their intrinsic worth as individuals. She
shares compelling stories and data that illustrate the importance
of fostering a sense of unconditional mattering in our children's
lives.


Practical Solutions for Parents


Jenny doesn't just diagnose the problem; she offers a pathway
forward. She shares practical strategies and personal anecdotes
that demonstrate how parents can create a home environment where
teens know they matter regardless of their achievements. From
simple exercises to meaningful conversations, Jenny provides
actionable advice for parents looking to support their teens in
healthy and sustainable ways.


In the Episode


Our conversation with Jenny is packed with insights and advice,
covering topics such as:


Recognizing the signs of toxic achievement culture in our
homes and schools

Strategies for communicating unconditional love and support
to our teens

The importance of prioritizing our own well-being as parents

Success stories of teens who thrive within high-achieving
environments

And much more!




This episode is a must-listen for parents, educators, and anyone
who plays a significant role in the life of a teenager. Jenny
Wallace's informed and compassionate approach to tackling the
toxic achievement culture offers a beacon of hope for families
navigating these challenges.


Don't miss this powerful conversation on how we can help our
teenagers understand that they matter—not because of what they
achieve, but because of who they are. Listen to the full episode
and subscribe to Talking to Teens today.





Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.