Ep 258: Privacy Versus Parenting

Devorah Heitner, author of Growing Up in Public, sheds light on
the multiple ways we monitor teen’s digital lives and the broader
implications of constant surveillance. We also dive into the
challenges and opportunities that arise when raising tech-savvy
teens. 





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that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
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Full Show Notes


Raising teenagers in today’s digitally-focused and
surveillance-heavy society can feel like uncharted territory for
many parents. The constant monitoring—from social media
engagement to academic performance tracking—has transformed the
way teens experience their formative years. This digital reality
brings a host of new challenges for families, navigating the
balance between keeping children safe online and respecting their
privacy and independence. But how can parents support their teens
without infringing on their autonomy? How can families encourage
resilience and kindness in a world that often feels intrusive?


In this week's episode of Talking to Teens, we're delving deep
into the complexities of parenting in a digital society. We're
joined by Devorah Heitner, an expert in the impact of technology
on children and teens, and the author of "Growing Up in Public."
Devorah's work has been featured in major outlets such as The New
York Times and CNN, and she's here to share her insights on
empowering parents to foster resilient and respectful digital
citizens.


Digital Surveillance: A Double-Edged Sword


Our kids are growing up under a microscope, scrutinized by both
the technology they use and the watchful eyes of their parents.
This constant surveillance can have profound implications for
their development, sense of self, and privacy. Devorah helps us
understand the spectrum of digital monitoring practices—from
reading texts to tracking locations—and invites us to question
the impact of these actions on our relationships with our
teenagers.


The Public Life of Teens: Navigating Mistakes
Online


In a world where a single post or comment can have lasting
consequences, how can we prepare our teens to navigate their
public lives wisely? Devorah discusses the real risks associated
with digital missteps and offers practical advice for supporting
teens through potential public scrutiny. She emphasizes the
importance of leading with compassion and empathy, both for our
children and their peers.


Resilience in the Face of Digital Dilemmas


Learning to make amends and move forward from online errors is
crucial for building resilience. Whether dealing with minor
misjudgments or more severe mistakes, Devorah guides us through
approaches to help teens learn from their experiences. She
stresses the importance of focusing on character development over
punitive responses, encouraging an environment where teens feel
safe to seek guidance and share their concerns.


Preparing for Digital Independence


As our teens grow, they will inevitably face decisions about
their digital presence and privacy without our direct
supervision. Devorah provides insights into fostering discussions
about online behaviors, privacy, and consent. She also tackles
tough topics like sexting and online bullying, providing a
roadmap for open, non-shame-based conversations with our teens.


In this episode, we cover many more aspects of the digital
challenges facing teens and their families, including:


- Strategies for teaching digital empathy and kindness
- How to discuss the permanent nature of online actions with
teens
- Balancing teen privacy with parental concern in the digital
age
- Encouraging critical thinking about social media and
consumerism


Listen to the full episode for Devorah Heitner’s expert advice on
navigating the digital world with your teen. Whether you’re
dealing with minor privacy concerns or confronting a serious
online mistake, you'll find actionable tips and compassionate
insights to help support your teenager. Don't forget to share and
subscribe to Talking to Teens, as we continue exploring the art
and science of parenting in the digital age.





Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.