Ep 267: Neurodivergent Teens and Communication

Chris Martin, author of May Tomorrow Be Awake, speaks on the
concept of neurodiversity, and how parents can encourage
teenagers to be their unique selves, rather than trying to pass
as "normal."


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Full Show Notes


We all want our kids to feel “normal”, to fit in with their peers
and the culture around them. But what if normal isn’t all it’s
cracked up to be? What if we’ve defined “normal” too narrowly,
and left a lot of beautiful minds out of the picture?


Our guest today, Chris Martin, is encouraging us to take a closer
look at the concept of neurotypicality. As a poet and advocate
who has worked with autistic writers for over 20 years, Chris has
come to see neurodivergence as a creative superpower rather than
a deficit.


So what does it mean to be “neurodivergent”? Why is
neurodiversity so poorly understood? And how we can nurture the
neurodiverse minds all around us--both in our kids and in
ourselves?


Introducing Chris Martin


To explore those questions, we’re speaking with Chris Martin,
poet and Executive Director of UnRestricted Interest, an arts
organization for neurodivergent writers. Chris is himself
neurodivergent, with ADHD.


In his book “May Tomorrow Be Awake”, Chris details his
experiences working with nonspeaking autistic poets. He shares
their incredible insights while reframing common misconceptions
about autism--like the notion that autistic people “lack
empathy.”


Drawing on his background, we’ll be discussing:


How autism has unique creative strengths

Why all kids start out neurodivergent

The high cost of “masking” neurodivergence

How to nurture neurodiversity in teens



Autism’s Upsides


Autism comes with plenty of challenges, but also some incredible
strengths...if we choose to see them. As Chris explains, many
autistic traits have a positive flipside when reframed.


What’s seen as a “restricted interest” can also be viewed as a
passionate devotion to a subject, while sensory sensitivity
connects autistic people to the environment in profound ways.
Chris even explains how synesthesia--common in autistics--may
have given rise to metaphor and poetry.


Understanding how autistic minds work differently is key to
valuing their contributions. Neurodivergence itself shouldn’t be
the problem--the problem is a culture that refuses to accommodate
it.


Masking Our True Selves



Many neurodivergent people can “pass” for neurotypical, masking
their true selves in order to fit in. But as Chris recounts, this
masking process can make people physically ill.


He explains how as a child, he trained himself to perform
neurotypicality out of fear of bullying. Monitoring himself
constantly to fit in was exhausting, and separated him from his
true identity.


The good news is that for the next generation, culture is already
changing. Chris’s neurodivergent son hasn’t experienced the
bullying Chris once did. But for those of us who grew up masking,
unlearning those habits is tough.


Through his work, however, Chris has found his way back to
himself--and wants to help others do the same.


Embracing Our Shared Neurodiversity


One takeaway from Chris’s book is that since we all have diverse
minds and bodies, disability is a universal human experience. We
can’t predict or eliminate it--we have to accommodate for it.


Likewise, we all exist on a spectrum of neurodivergence. Though
some people seem more neurotypical than others, it’s partly an
act, Chris argues--we’re all suppressing or enhancing certain
natural tendencies to conform.


Kids start out accepting of their own and others’
neurodivergence. But at some point, we teach them to hide it.
What if instead, we could preserve that spirit of openness, and
build a culture that embraces each mind and body?


A world that celebrates neurodiversity is one that would benefit
us all--one that’s more creative, more thoughtful and more
humane. Chris and his autistic friends are illuminating the path.


Additional Topics:


Why autistic people may have been first to use metaphor

How to congratulate someone on an autism diagnosis

Why disability is ahead for us all

How to nurture tics versus correct them



Don’t miss this thought-provoking discussion! To hear more from
Chris, check out his book “May Tomorrow Be Awake” or visit
unrestrictedinterest.com.





Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.