Ep 288: The Balance of Power in Parent-Teen Relationships

Tiziana Casciaro, author of Power For All, joins us to explore
the intricate power dynamics between parents and their teenage
children, shedding light on effective strategies for sharing
power, preventing power abuse, and empowering teens to make
constructive choices in their lives and communities.


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Full Show Notes


Raising teenagers presents a unique challenge in the realm of
power dynamics. As children enter their teenage years, the once
clear-cut power balance between parent and child begins to shift.
Teens seek more independence, making decisions that parents may
not always agree with, and sometimes even rebelling against
parental authority. This shift can lead to frustration,
misunderstandings, and power struggles within the family.


This week on Talking to Teens, we dive deep into the world of
power dynamics between parents and teenagers with Tiziana
Casciaro, a professor of organizational behavior at the
University of Toronto and co-author of the insightful book *Power
For All*. Her extensive research and work provide a profound
understanding of how power functions and can be used positively
within relationships, making her the perfect guide for parents
navigating these turbulent waters.


The Essence of Power in Parent-Teen
Relationships


Tiziana breaks down power as simply the ability to influence
others' behavior and explains how this concept applies
universally—from the teen wishing to gain more freedom to the
parent hoping to guide their child towards certain behaviors.
Power dynamics within the family evolve as teens grow, seeking
validation and influence beyond their parents, which can dilute
the parents' direct influence over them.


Empowering Versus Controlling


One key to maintaining a healthy relationship with your teenager
is understanding the difference between exercising power over
them and empowering them to make their own decisions. Tiziana
discusses how sharing power and responsibility with teens can
lead to mutual respect and better decision-making. By recognizing
and validating their growing need for independence and control
over their own lives, parents can foster a relationship based on
trust and shared goals rather than on authority and rebellion.


The Impact of Power on Relationships and
Identity


Tiziana illuminates how power can change people, often leading to
overconfidence or inattentiveness to others' needs and desires.
This phenomenon applies to both parents and teens as they
navigate their changing relationship. Parents must balance their
authoritative role with their child's growing need for autonomy,
while teens must manage their newfound power without completely
rejecting parental guidance.


Educating Teens on the Use and Abuse of Power


An essential part of parenting is teaching teens about the
implications of power in wider societal contexts, including the
importance of democracy, collective action, and moral
responsibility. Encouraging teens to critically evaluate the
leaders and influencers they choose to follow can empower them to
contribute positively to society.


Strategies for Positive Power Dynamics


The episode concludes with practical advice for parents on
fostering positive and productive power dynamics within their
family. By understanding what their teens value and strive for,
parents can position themselves as allies in their teenagers'
pursuit of happiness, security, and self-esteem.


Additional Topics Covered:


- Identifying and supplying what teenagers value as a strategy
for shared power.
- The role of democracy and collective action in teaching teens
about power.
- The dangers of unchecked power and the importance of
accountability.
- Encouraging teens to voice their opinions constructively, even
in disagreement.
- Real-life examples of power dynamics reshaping family
relationships for the better.


Listening to this episode will provide parents, educators, and
anyone involved in a teenager's life with a deeper understanding
of how to navigate and negotiate power dynamics for healthier
relationships and positive development. Don't miss this
insightful discussion on empowering our teens and ourselves.


Listen to the episode and subscribe to Talking to Teens for more
expert advice on parenting teenagers.





Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.