Ep 302: Debunking Gender Myths for Parents

Michelle Jurkiewicz and Diane Ehrensaft, co-authors of Gender
Explained, join us to dismantle common misconceptions about
transgender and non-binary youth, address the impact of
misinformation, and highlight the importance of thoughtful,
gender-affirming care.


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that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
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Full Show Notes





In today's digital age, the flood of information—both accurate
and misleading—about gender can be overwhelming for parents.
Understanding the real science and nuanced truths behind gender
diversity is essential, not just for parents of transgender or
non-binary teens, but for any families navigating the complex
landscape of modern gender identity. Misinformation can
exacerbate anxieties, perpetuate harmful stereotypes, and hinder
the emotional and psychological development of our teenagers.


Regardless of whether your child is cisgender or part of the
LGBTQ+ community, becoming well-informed about gender identity
issues is crucial. Misconceptions can lead to unintended harm,
fostering environments where biases and myths thrive. Ensuring we
respond with understanding and backed by research can make a
world of difference in how our children perceive themselves and
their place in society.


To shed light on these issues, we're joined by Dr. Michelle
Jurkiewicz and Dr. Diane Ehrensaft—co-authors of the new book,
Gender Explained. Diane is the co-founder and director of mental
health at the Child and Adolescent Gender Center at UCSF, an
esteemed expert with numerous publications on gender. Michelle is
a clinical psychologist and gender specialist in Berkeley,
California. Together, they bring a wealth of knowledge about
gender identity and equity, highlighting how gender-affirming
care can profoundly impact mental health positively.


Addressing Misconceptions


One of the most harmful pieces of misinformation is the belief
that gender-affirming care lacks a scientific basis and is merely
politically driven. Michelle and Diane emphasize that
gender-affirming care is indeed evidence-based and involves a
diligent, thoughtful process, contrary to the notion of
rubber-stamping treatment requests. They also point out that
contrary to some accusations, gender diversity is innate and
cannot be instilled by external influences or by medical
professionals.


Another issue they tackle is the myth that a transgender identity
in children is just a phase or that it is contagious. Michelle
highlights the essential point that gender, much like other
aspects of identity, manifests uniquely in each individual, and
invalidating these identities can have damaging effects on young
people.


The Importance of Proper Care


Diane passionately debunks the "rubber stamping" myth—instead
explaining that gender-affirming care is a collaborative effort
involving mental health professionals, endocrinologists, parents,
and the children themselves. This multifaceted approach ensures
decisions are made carefully, supporting the child's well-being
at every step. She also introduces the concept of "social gender
dysphoria," which acknowledges that external societal pressures
often exacerbate the discomfort felt by gender-diverse youth.


Particularly insightful is how they address the emotional journey
parents may face, including moments of grief or confusion.
Understanding that gender identity is about honoring children's
dreams and realities—rather than the expectations we may have—is
pivotal in fostering a healthy family dynamic.


Handling Emotional Responses


Our discussions also delve into how to manage personal discomfort
as a parent when confronted with non-conforming gender
expressions. Diane offers personal anecdotes illustrating how
initial discomfort can transform into acceptance and
understanding over time, emphasizing the role of love in this
process. Michelle adds practical advice on slowing down and
reflecting on our gut reactions, encouraging compassion and
self-awareness as tools for overcoming bias.


Furthermore, Michelle explains the necessity of sports
participation for transgender youth in fostering mental health,
community, and personal development. Excluding children from
sports teams, she warns, can have detrimental impacts on their
well-being.


The Broader Picture


The book also tackles broader societal issues, such as
rapid-onset gender dysphoria (a concept Michelle thoroughly
discredits), the impact of restrictive legislation on transgender
youth, and the importance of creating inclusive environments. By
redefining misunderstood concepts and emphasizing evidence-based
research, Diane and Michelle aim to replace fear and
misinformation with understanding and support.


By the episode’s end, it becomes clear that thoughtful,
gender-affirming care benefits children profoundly, reaffirming
their identities and promoting healthier, happier lives. Michelle
and Diane continuously advocate for gender literacy, reminding
parents of the continual evolution of gender understanding,
underlined by humanity and empathy.


In the Episode…


Want to dive deeper into these critical issues? Here’s what else
you’ll find in our enlightening conversation:


The psychological impact of sports inclusion for transgender
youth

How to navigate rapid-onset gender dysphoria accusations

The role of patience and understanding in affirming your
child’s identity

Addressing the balance between parental authority and
adolescent independence

Practical advice on handling name changes and social
transitions



Don’t miss this episode for expert insights and compassionate
advice. Listen in to be part of a conversation that promotes
equality and understanding for all youth. Remember to share,
subscribe, and join us next week for more insights on parenting
teens!





Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.