Ep 308: Empowerment Beyond Perfection

Dr. Abbie Marono, author of Work in Progress, joins us to explore
the science of true empowerment and resilience. We discuss how
parents can help teens handle shame healthily, build resilience,
and develop a realistic sense of self-worth.


Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.


Full Show Notes


Empowerment is a term we often throw around, imagining it means
feeling good about ourselves no matter what, or disregarding
others’ opinions entirely. But the truth about empowerment is
much deeper–and sometimes even a little messy. For teens facing
pressures from all sides, understanding and practicing true
empowerment is essential for long-term resilience and
self-growth.


In this episode, we’re exploring how parents can really foster
genuine empowerment in their teenagers. It’s not about ensuring
teens never feel bad but about teaching them to build resilience
by properly processing difficult emotions such as shame. Our
guest, Dr. Abbie Marono, a renowned psychologist and speaker,
delves into these concepts in her book, Work in Progress.


Recognizing and Embracing Shame


Shame often gets a bad rap–it’s something we’re inclined to avoid
or suppress. However, as Abbie explains, shame is not inherently
bad. It’s a signal from our brain indicating that something about
our actions or behaviors isn’t aligning with our values or
self-image. By understanding and addressing this emotion, we can
actually move closer to empowerment, rather than hiding from
ourselves. 


In our conversation, Abbie debunks the myth that empowerment is
the absence of negative emotions or the armor that deflects all
criticism. Instead, true empowerment comes from accepting our
flaws and using our emotions as a guide for self-improvement. We
explore how parents can observe their teens for signs of emotion
suppression or escapism and gently guide them towards healthier
coping strategies.


Resilience Through Emotional Awareness


Helping teens navigate their feelings and emotions is crucial,
but understanding how to do this effectively can be challenging.
Abbie introduces us to the concept of interoception–being in tune
with our bodily sensations–and how this awareness can actually
support better emotional regulation. For teens, learning to
acknowledge their emotions without being overwhelmed by them is a
key step towards building resilience and maintaining mental
health.


We also discuss the pressing issue of helping teens handle the
emotional toll of striving for success. Abbie highlights the
importance of setting goals without tying our self-worth to them
and provides insights on how to coach teens through this nuanced
process. Teaching teens to focus on personal growth, rather than
chasing an unattainable ideal of perfection, can cultivate a
healthier, more sustainable mindset.


Creating A Supportive Environment


One of the most critical aspects of fostering genuine empowerment
in teens is creating an open, supportive home environment where
emotions are discussed openly and honestly. Abbie encourages
parents to model emotional awareness by talking about their own
feelings and handling life's stresses transparently. This, in
turn, offers teens a blueprint for their own emotional expression
and resilience.


We also touch on the role of teachers, mentors, and other
important figures in a teen’s life. If a teen lacks a supportive
home environment, these other adults can step in to provide a
sense of security and guidance. Abbie shares her own experiences
of relying on a supportive teacher during her tumultuous teenage
years and how that shaped her path to psychological resilience
and her eventual career.


In the Episode...


In addition to the topics discussed above, Abbie and I cover:


The real definition of empowerment

How perfectionism sabotages true resilience

Why escapist behaviors can signal deeper issues

Techniques to help teens process and accept their emotions



If you want to learn more about fostering genuine empowerment and
resilience in your teen, you won’t want to miss this episode. For
more from Dr. Abbie Marono, you can find her book, Work in
Progress, The Road to Empowerment, the Journey Through Shame, and
follow her on Instagram at @drAbbieofficial or visit her website
at Abbiemarono.com. Tune in and don't forget to subscribe for
more insights on parenting teens.





Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment
that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more
information, and a free consultation.