202 How do we maintain the relationship renaissance after opening up?

Many of us experience a relationship renaissance when we first
open up. There's a delicious new energy, deeper conversations,
rekindled passion, and a sense that we're seeing our partners
(and ourselves) in entirely new dimensions. It feels amazing, and
naturally, we want to hold onto that feeling forever!


But what are we supposed to do when that initial excitement
starts to fade?


Maintaining this renaissance isn't about freezing that initial
excitement in amber. It's about understanding what's really
happening beneath the surface and learning how to nurture your
relationships in new ways. In this episode, we’re gonna help you
gain a deeper understanding of this process, and in turn,
yourself and your partners.


We’re breaking down:


— The new non-monogamy energy phenomenon and why it creates such
intense feelings of connection and discovery


— Why seeing your partner relate to others gives you access to
dimensions of them you've never seen before


— How the shift from "exclusivity equals security" to building
security through clarity and communication takes years of
consistent effort


— The difference between trying to maintain the initial high
versus investing in ongoing relationality


— Why some partners might try to use the renaissance as a reason
to return to monogamy ("See? We fixed it!")


— How differentiation (recognizing "I am me and you are you")
contributes strongly to maintaining intimacy


— Why the work of opening up is the relating – it's not just
preparation for relating


— The importance of self-inquiry and noticing how you actually
show up in relationships, not just how you think you show up


— Why maintaining unified pacing with your partner becomes
impossible in non-monogamy (and why that's actually okay)


— How focusing on your own individuation process can help
maintain deep connection without trying to recreate that initial
high


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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions