209 Transitioning from Swinging to Polyamory

What actually changes when you go from swinging to polyamory? Is
it just more dates—or a total shift in your emotional and
relational world? We explore the real answers—plus the question
no one wants to ask: “What if my partner doesn't want to go with
me?”


This transition is more than a change in labels—it’s a deep
reconfiguration of your emotional bandwidth, time, priorities,
and sense of self. It often begins with excitement but can stir
unexpected grief as you let go of identities, imagined futures,
and unspoken assumptions.


In this episode, we talk about:


— The key differences between swinging, polyamory, and
polysexuality


— What happens when partners discover they have divergent desires
for relationship structures


— The importance of clarifying your own needs and wants before
making new agreements


— Why patience is crucial when learning about yourself and your
evolving desires


— How to navigate the redistribution of time and energy when
relationship structures change


— The reality that feelings don’t always follow rules—and what to
do when unexpected emotions arise


— Why asking someone not to have feelings is an impossible
request that can damage relationships


— The value of making commitments about actions rather than
trying to control emotions


— How transitions often reveal differences, resentments, and
incompatibilities that were previously hidden


— Essential skills for navigating this transition: introspection,
conversation, grief work, and repair


— Why building resilience is more valuable than creating
“perfect” rules to prevent discomfort


Resources mentioned in this episode:


— Imago Dialogue


— Structured apologies as a repair technique


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Music: Dance of Felt by Blue Dot Sessions