160 Getting Your Needs Met

Opening up your relationship does not automatically lead to you
getting more of your needs met. Monogamy or not, identifying and
communicating your needs, wants, and likes can be really
challenging!! It’s also crucial to building fulfilling
relationships, which is exactly why we created this episode.


Like most aspects of relating, individuating, differentiating,
and all the wonderful things we like to talk about on Playing
With Fire, identifying and communicating your needs is a skill
that you can practice and build.


Listen on to learn about:


— The difference between needs, wants, and likes in relationships


— Why identifying and communicating your needs can be so
challenging


— The importance of developing a rich vocabulary to describe your
experiences and desires


— How shame and trauma can impact our ability to express
ourselves in relationships


— The role of negotiation and consent in getting needs met


— Who is responsible for meeting whose needs


— Why writing things down can be a powerful tool for
self-reflection and communication


— The challenges of balancing individual needs with relationship
dynamics, especially in non-monogamous contexts


— How to identify your own manipulative and people-pleasing
tendencies, and why those strategies can be harmful for everyone
in the long run


Resources mentioned in this episode:


— David Cooley's writing and coaching


— Dan Shipper's article on developing sensory vocabulary


— The "Yes, No, Maybe" list for exploring sexual preferences
(kinkier version here)


Join the global Week of Visibility for Non-monogamy – July 15-21.
Visit www.weekofvisibility.com to learn more and get
involved!


Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at⁠⁠
⁠www.JoliQuiz.com⁠


Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your
dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here


Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions