166 Q&A Quickie: How do I deal with my anxiety when my partner is on a date?

Scenario: your anchor partner is on a date with someone else. You
know they have a super hot connection, and sex is definitely on
the table. You’re excited for them… but once they leave, and the
time starts ticking by, all sorts of feelings are coming up. Your
anxiety is building… and you don’t know how to deal with it.


We get asked about this scenario a lot, because it can be SO
challenging. Good news—we’ve been there, we’ve learned a lot
about our own do’s and don’ts, and we know how to help you find
strategies that will work for you. And that’s exactly what we’re
doing in this mini-episode!


We’re breaking down:


— How to effectively use trial and error and pattern detection in
these situations


—Why jealousy is often just beneath the surface of this anxiety


— How to use resourcing and nervous system regulation while your
partner is on a date


— Why parting and reentering are important opportunities for
connecting with your anchor/nesting partner(s)


— Our experiences in these situations and the strategies that do
and don’t work for us


— How to use The Jealousy Roadmap to work through your anxiety


— The importance of reconnecting before debriefing


— How you can actually gain wisdom from your jealousy and build
intimacy with yourself and your partners


Resources mentioned in this episode:


— Minimum Viable Agreements, discussed in Episode 149
Relationship Agreements 101


— The Jealousy Roadmap


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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions