169 Q&A Quickie: Why am I having such a hard time sticking to my agreements?

Relationship agreements are awesome. They can take you from a
place of ambiguity and assumptions to a place of clarity and
transparency. But what happens when the hardest part of
relationship agreements is… actually… fulfilling them?? It can
leave you feeling defeated and sh*tty.


If you relate to that feeling, this episode is for you. There
might be some tender spots, shadowy patterns, or subconscious
desires hiding beneath the surface, and we’re going to help you
unearth them. We’re also going to walk you through some crucial
steps in the process of accountability and repair with your
partner(s).


In this episode, we’re talking about:


— Ken’s struggles with keeping relationship agreements around
timing and logistics


— The importance of accountability after agreements have been
broken


— Determining whether or not a relationship is safe and in
alignment with your needs after agreements are broken


— Making agreements based on your values, and the difference
between aspirational values and lived values


— The power of nervous system regulation during the
agreement-making and repair processes


— How shadow work connects to struggles with relationship
agreements


— Awareness vs acceptance of patterns


— The subconscious narratives that can underlie weaponized
incompetence


— Why differentiation is vital to the agreement-making and
-keeping processes


— Why this predicament can be strong material for your
individuation journey


— The power of iterative agreements instead of fixed ones


Resources mentioned in this episode:


— PWF Episode 149 Relationship Agreements 101


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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions