171 Why Self-Agreements Will Make or Break Your Relationships

If you have a hard time keeping relationship agreements, you
probably also have a hard time keeping the agreements you make
with yourself. If that’s you, or if you’ve never even tried to
make self-agreements, you have to listen to this episode.


This process shouldn’t feel like a punishment—I want you to make
agreements with yourself that you actually want to uphold. And
that’s not always a straightforward process. If you’re
struggling, you’re so not alone. This isn’t entry-level work—it
requires real skill-building, and we’re breaking down that
learning process so you can start fostering integrity and consent
with yourself.


In this episode, we talk about:


— Why some people struggle to stick to the agreements they've
made


— How past relationship experiences and attachment styles
influence our approaches to agreements


— The role of unconscious factors in undermining our commitments


— Why self-agreement keeping is the first step to keeping
agreements with other people


— The benefits that come with not naturally being good at
upholding agreements


— Balancing flexibility with reliability in relationships


— How to create effective response plans for when agreements
aren't met


— The importance of written agreements and reminders


— Why punitive consequences often backfire, and how to use
educative repercussions instead


— Practical tools for improving agreement-making and
follow-through


Resources mentioned in this episode:


— Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies Quiz


— PWF Episode 149 Relationship Agreements 101


— PWF Episode 150 Asymmetric Agreements


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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions