173 Getting off the Relationship Escalator (Or Choosing Not To)

Dating becoming exclusive moving in together getting
married having kids. This is the assumed trajectory that all
relationships will take. If you’ve already started exploring
non-monogamy, you have some experience with breaking the mold.
But even in non-monogamous relationships, it’s common to find
yourself slipping back into the relationship escalator framework.


This path is so ingrained, it’s easy to feel pressure, both
internal and external, to fit your life into its rigid set of
steps.


We’ve been there, and we continue to work every day to question
our own assumptions and tendencies. In this episode, we’re
helping you reimagine relationships and relationship security
beyond the confines of the relationship escalator.


In this episode, we talk about:


— What the relationship escalator is and how it shapes our
expectations


— Different types of escalators beyond just romantic
relationships


— Why getting off the escalator can be psychologically
challenging


— How to question relationship norms and make space for
alternatives


— The importance of building security outside of traditional
relationship structures


— Practical ways to shift language and interactions to be more
inclusive


Resources mentioned in this episode:


— Amy Gahran's book Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator


— Dr. Bella DePaulo’ book Single at Heart


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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions