Relationship "Pinches" & "Crunches" that hurt

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Shaped by circumstances from birth 


Picture the new born baby which starts life with innocence and a
brain with few impressions. It starts to experience life and
living and soon the brain has some impressions and templates
being carved out. Good and not so good experiences and
impressions. A distorted image develops. 


The individual distorted image of a male coming with his own
unique impressions and experiences of life and the individual
distorted image of a female also coming with her own unique
impressions and experiences of life, get together (perhaps marry)
and become an item. The two distorted images are suppose to live
a lifetime together in harmony. Their differing impressions and
experiences of life, including the adaptations they have had to
make to survive life, may no longer serve them well in the new
twosome. Adapt and survive or live with conflict is now the
choice. The two individuals look sound from external appearances,
but inside they have many unresolved issues. 


Diagram: Pinch & Crunch 


(You really need to see the Pinch & Crunch diagram to make
sense of this episode. Send me a message to get it, as I cannot
add images to the Podcast).


We enter relationships at the courting stage, bringing with us
all our stuff (good and not so good). We are actually negotiating
with each other as we adapt and seek to ascertain whether there
are enough common attractions that can hold and carry the
relationship. There is a collusive fit which brought us together,
but that is not enough to keep us in courtship. 


If time proves to be a glue, then time may also see the
relationship develop to permanency or marriage. A pinch will
disrupt harmony and we must decide which option to take to deal
with the pinch which has the potential to de-stabilise. Options
include fight, flight, separate, divorce, counselling or going
back to an earlier stage in the relationship and starting again
to renegotiate needs and expectations. 


Crunches are an even more painful and de- stabilising assaults on
the relationship and like pinches, we must choose an option,
including doing nothing. Doing nothing is to coast in the
relationship. We are then at the mercy of an event in the future
which will occur and take the choice out of our hands, so that
outcomes are no longer determinable by the parties. 


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Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR
Practitioner.
Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love
Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing
Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood
Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery |
Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence
| Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction
Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit
Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure |
Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health
and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn |
Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement
Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma
Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre |
Neurosci


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