Repairing the Couple after Sex Addiction damage (Continuation)

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- On-Demand Programme Link -
https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre


Building new foundations for the couple: Take a look at
the Different Relationship Images document attached to
this Podcast. I try to bypass language as much as possible.
Feelings do not always tell the truth. We can be very English.
Very British!


Question: "How are you today". Answer: "I'm fine thank you".


Observation after the automatic response: "I notice you are on
strong pain-killers and on crutches"!


Emotions are very powerful and drive so much of our decisions,
including major bridge-burning decisions - in the moment.
Emotions live in the Limbic brain.


I use the Relationship Images document with the couple
right at the beginning of our work, in order to get at the truth
and not what feelings and emotions are telling me if I ask the
couple some questions about their relationship.


I want to know how deeply entrenched is the damage done to the
relationship. The exercise by-passes the emotional brain (of
feelings) and also the intellectual logical reasoning part of the
brain. Instead, I connect with their heart. The heart tends to
tell the truth. So I use the exercise to listen to the heart.


Each identify an image which represents a time in their
Past when the relationship was working at its absolute
best; super-doper. Then an image which represents where the
relationship is Now (such that they have come for
therapy). Finally, which image best represents the Future.
Think big. Think miracle. A future where the issues are resolved
and they are living the 'bestest' quality couples relationship,
beyond what they could ever image.


I am looking for any split agenda as to why each of them have
come for therapy; any ulterior motive. Has one of them long left
the relationship -  (emotional disengagement). Their spoken
word may be contradicted by their choice of images.


The discussion which ensues, will be eye-opening for the couple.
Mostly, pleasantly surprising! 


Help someone access the Recovery Programme:
https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre


Help is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp


British Podcast Awards 2025: Would you consider voting for
this Podcast? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/voting


Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR
Practitioner.


Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction
| Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors
| Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and
Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual
Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family
Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side
effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn
Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation |
Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction |
Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12
Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing
| Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online
Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn
Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self
Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual
Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency
| Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in
Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction |
Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography


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