Relationship "Pinches" & "Crunches" that hurt (Part 2)

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Couples counselling is not necessarily about keeping a couple
together at all. All about exploring options. Also to help you
both gain insight and understanding about self and how you do
life, as an individual. 


Whether a Partnership or a marriage, these things are true:
“Marriage is not the coming together of two people. It’s a clash
of two cultures, two experiences, two memories, two habits, two
morals, two values. And that is a formula for destruction” - Dr
Myles Munro


“[It] is [also] the place of our healing. So don’t leave it too
quickly” - Dr Creflo Dollar. 


(You are destined to eventually repeat the issues again with the
new person, because you take you with you into the new
relationship - where second and third time around each have an
even worse percentage likelihood of separation and divorce).


Pinches hurt. Try using your fingernails to pinch your thigh. A
pinch in a relationship, jolts the relationship and disrupts
harmony. 


A crunch not only jolts the relationship, it assaults the very
foundations of the relationship. Having pinched your thigh with
your finger nail, now open the palm of your hand and hold it as
if holding a tennis ball. 


Those fingers represents the jaws of a rottweiller dog that has
its teeth locked into your bum cheeks. That is much more than
just a jolt!


An accumulation of unresolved pinches in a relationship which
were never resolved, but put inside self, pressed down on top of
years of other compressed pinches, will eventually become a
crunch.


Take a look at the accompanying Pinches & Crunches diagram to
see the different options presented to the couple during each of
those events.


Unresolved and unprocessed pinches & crunches creates
ambiguity, Resentment, Anger, Uncertainty, where options include
- do nothing, separate, divorce or emotionally disengage. Many,
many couples live in 'Emotional Disengagement' for years and
years. 


Emotional Disengagement is insidious. Vote for the outcomes to
your relationship, rather than let default decisions blow it up
over time, leaving the two of you scurrying around picking up
shrapnel from the explosion fall-out.


So, let’s begin our work together to detoxify the issues and get
you closer to your abundant life living - bringing colour back to
life - without Shame.


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the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre


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Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR
Practitioner.
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