Men see promiscuity in a female as a deal breaker when seeking a life-long partner

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Sexual Intelligence: More science stuff (3)

A lot of compact info in this episode. I think my post bag is
going to be very full this week with comments about.......!

Remember, don't shoot the messenger.

Men see promiscuity in a female as a deal breaker when seeking a
life-long partner. If a man sees a woman as hard to get for sex,
he will instinctively feel that she will more likely be faithful
in the long term for partnership/marriage. For males, sexual
loyalty and sexual integrity is the most praised and sought after
asset and quality in a woman when considering a long term
partnership/marriage. 

This may seem  - not very “modern” - but when females are
seeking a partner for potential life-long partnership, with whom
to have children, she seeks out someone who is likely to be
reliable; to be there when she is pregnant – during a vulnerable
time in her life whilst carrying the baby; to ensure survival
when her body is taking the toll of the pregnancy. (That cave
man/ cave woman instinct can't be entirely re-shaped because of a
21st century preferred way of doing life).

Paternity certainty is vitally important to a male! A man wants
to know that the baby she is carrying belongs to him.
(Ultimately, only the woman will carry that knowledge). Men value
women who can be trusted in that regards.


Therefore, early on in the relationship, men separate women into
two categories:
1) Easy to get – sexually; or 2) Not easy.


The “Not easy” choices become possible long term partner
potentials. The “easy sexually” are for hookup and not long term
partner potentials.

A woman needs dopamine and oxytocin for bonding. It is
interesting that after intercourse, a woman's evaluation of the
man tends to go up. So, females will more frequently be bonding
during the hook-up, but quite the contrary for males. In males,
within 10 seconds of orgasm/ejaculation, his evaluation of her
may be going down. There is a conflict between males and females
during that hook-up situation. It is not a level playing field.
Women's bonding is going up and men's bonding is going down. (All
credit to Joe Malone PhD, CFE, LWMC, CPT, The Sexual Integrity
Scientist, https://www.drjoemalone.com/, Author: Battles of the
Sexes, Founder: Sex IQ, https://www.sexiq.org/)

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Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate
trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and
undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also
a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for
the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC),
stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian
Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization
and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working
with clients globally via secure webcam.
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