Childhood development holds the clues to tracking the setting up of Sex, Porn, Love Addiction

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Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a
man (5)

What’s a “Russian Doll” (or is it called a Babushka) got to do
with Sex, Porn, Love Addiction?



I thought you would never ask!



“I haven’t bought into that nonsense “Big boys don’t cry”, when I
was growing up”. At least, I don’t think so”!



That guy called John Bowlby in the 1940’s dared to put together
some suppositions that I didn’t like. How dare he put me in a box
and think that he knows me. 



Yet, “Oh my goodness, that stuff he is talking about me; that
describes me. I don’t like this. Anyway, I am a complex being
made by God and only Sigmund Freud can unravel the complexities
of me”. (This was my coping strategy that I used, to avoid
getting penetrated and having to go and see those busy-body
counsellors and tell them about my growing up stuff, so they
could sort me out!) What does your Resistance and Reluctance look
like?



The inner child (of me) was curled up deep inside the Russian
Doll, with layers of protection, to avoid people I give my heart
to, hurting me again.

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Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs)
is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor,
Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction
treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling
Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction
& Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of
the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye
movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR
Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure
webcam.
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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction |
Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing
Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure |
Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety |
Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy |
Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online
Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors |
Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt
| Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification |
Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction
Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral
Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing
Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships |
Empowerment | Exploring Manhood | Understanding Masculinity |
Male Identity | Role of Men in Society |