Templates get set up in early life, setting the stage for self-soothing & later on Sex, Porn, Love Addiction enters the stage

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Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a
man (6)

Have I said this already - "Childhood has a lot to answer"?
Maybe just a few times hey! But are you getting it? Don't start
at step 5 or 6 with a Recovery Programme or 12 Steps Support.
They are absolutely needed, but not yet.

Go back to first base. Step 1. Childhood developmental
years.

Can't find anything there? You had a lovely upbringing. I don't
doubt it. I really don't. But you see, that marvellous complex,
yet simple brain - seeking to protect us and do the best for us -
will avoid repeat impactful stuff happening.

One way is to defend us by blocking stuff out of remembrance;
problem is, a part of the brain remembers and carries the stuff,
but you cannot access it; and why would you want to, when - in
childhood - it caused the child you so much pain; but pain you
can't access and have no conscious memory about. (but your
unconscious does have memory about it!)

"That sounds like Freudian psycho-babble stuff Gary". I know. I
agree.
"I'm not into that stuff". 

Neither was I. Kicking and screaming with my finger nails dug
deep into the carpet, leaving claw marks as I was dragged into
Therapy. Yet, those clever busy-body Therapists were right!


And then some time later you begin to learn and gain insight into
some things. Just a random few learnings (because they come up in
todays audio recording) -  include things  like:
- Someone needed to have set boundaries for us.
- We all needed a lighthouse ("Good enough" Parents). Otherwise,
we are left floundering on the high seas.
- The brain will fill in the gaps and the voids.
- There are scripts and batons that we will be handing on as
parents (to our children). Know them, see them, assess them and
decide if change beckons for you.

Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life -
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Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs)
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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction |
Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing
Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure |
Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety |
Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy |
Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online
Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors |
Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt
| Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification |
Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction
Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Comp