Society has a view about those identified with Sex, Porn, Love addiction - which mostly is not accurate

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Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a
man (10)


What do you want from Therapy? Where does your view come from? Is
it your view or a “hand me down”? Therapy won’t work until you
are ready. But if you take too long (as the masses do), then the
hand grenade may go off in your face and then you are left
picking up shrapnel. Picking up shrapnel is to be
re-active. 


The preference is to be proactive. Make conscious choices, even
if wrong choices (at least you know you made then and can own the
fallout); rather than choice be done to you (then you can’t own
the repercussions). Make sense?


CBT= Cognitive Behaviour (Therapy). The
Cognitive (your thinking) will always come before Behaviour (the
action). Change your thinking before trying to change Behaviour.
If you can change your Mind, you can change your life.


Whichever addiction you are caught up in (whether Alcohol,
smoking, eating, sex, porn, seeking out connection with love,
drugs, gambling or gaming), the craving to use are not
under direct conscious control. The memory of the positive after
effect feelings (feeling-state) drives the repeat behaviour. Your
cognitive (thinking/thoughts) is triggered by the neural pathway
set up by the past repeat behaviours; so the thought is - I need
to have that thing; do that thing - it will make me feel better.
So you go after it. Do it again. Get a temporary fix and also
further cemented the neural pathway links. You're back on the
hamster wheel. Get it!


There may be a high level of sincere motivation to stop, but
later on the physiology demand for its chemical fix, situational
triggers and disturbing/upsetting feelings, causes a PART
of the personality to sabotage; not care about the demands of the
other PARTS of the personality. I see, I desire, I want, so I
take - kicks in – where “Immediate gratification rules
again.

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Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR
Practitioner.
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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction |
Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing
Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure |
Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety |
Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy |
Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online
Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors |
Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt
| Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification |
Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction
Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral
Therapy | Relapse Prevent