Sex/Porn/Love Addiction is used to meet depleted Core Emotional Needs

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There are three ways in which we try to get our Core Emotional
Needs met. Meeting Core emotional needs is not negotiable. They
want to be met and kept filled up at high levels.

The reality, however, is that life takes a toll upon us and Core
Emotional Needs deplete over time. What are some of those Core
Emotional Needs: Approval, Acceptance, Support, Security,
Comfort, Respect - amongst others.

When we have been functioning on low depleted levels for some
time (where they are not being replenished regularly enough by
certain persons, people and situations) - they wane. Leakage
causes depletion.

We seek to top them up by reacting - through Fight/Flight/Freeze.
Each of us use different ones at different times, but there is
one of those that we use more often than the other.

Which one do you use more often? It is not always the obvious one
that you first thought!

Fight: is often more Passive Aggressive, than the
very much more visible overt behaviour. Passive Aggression is
mostly unseen, yet is a very potent weapon that is welded by many
and do not recognise or see the potency of that weapon.

Fight is mostly not about leaving the toilet seat up for the
hundredth time or the top off the tooth paste. Fight is often
driven by depleted Core Emotional  needs, but not visible or
owned by the person.

Flight: My definition is - "We move ourself away from the
place where we perceive that our Core Emotional Needs are not
being met and instead, put ourself in a different place where we
perceive that our Core Emotional Needs are more likely to be
met". That might be a physical moving or an emotional
leaving/absence.

Flight is problematic because of the dangers of fleeing into the
arms of someone else who appears to be meeting depleted Core
Emotional Needs - which feels like love and affection - but
really is not. It is just compensating (temporarily) for a
depleted emotional void.

Freeze: I call "the stiff British upper lip - through the
trenches - we just get on".
Freeze does not look like what is on the label. It is not
inactivity. It is more about just ignoring own Needs and just
trying to get on with life; but....

Freeze (getting on with life) - does not stay frozen permanently!
Every now and then, there will be a Fight for a short period,
then revert back to Freeze for the longer time; otherwise, Flight
for a short period, then revert back to Freeze for the longer
time.

Might the reaction being seen; the behaviour being done - arising
from depleted Core Emotional Needs? An attempt to meet depleted
Core Emotional Needs.

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see.
Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction
| Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family
Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Performance Pressure | Separation
| Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation|
Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma
Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction
Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues |
Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity |
Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry |
Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styl