Mind Your Mind - Joseph Tropper Archiv
114 Episoden
10 Minuten
Summary: In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Joseph opens Part 1 of the attachment series. He takes us to the beginning—our childhood—and explains how our early experiences with our caregivers dictate the ways in which we attach. Joseph draws on the resource, Attached, to provide a basis of understanding for today’s topic. Listen as Joseph explains the causes for attachment development, the 4 types of attachment, and a breakdown of the 4 types of attachment using children’s reactions to stress as an example. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:23 – Today’s episode is Part 1 of an attachment series 00:35 – Part 1 will be about childhood and personality; Part 2 is about adult, romantic relationships 01:04 – To Joseph, all people are on a spectrum in regards to the different types of attachment they can experience 01:29 – Most of the material that will be quoted in the podcast will come from the book, Attached 02:07 – There are 3 causes for attachment development: o 02:12 – Predisposition o 02:33 – Primary caregiver o 02:43 – Life experience 02:46 – Attached states that it takes about 4 years to change one’s attachment style, but research proves it can change in a lot less time than that 03:32 – 4 Types of Attachment: o 03:36 – Secure o 03:43 – Anxious/preoccupied o 03:49 – Avoidant/dismissive o 03:52 – Anxious-avoidant combined 04:12 – “What cannot be communicated to the mother cannot be communicated to the self.” – John Bowlby 04:23 – Through research, we observe how children react with their caregiver o 04:53 – The secure child gets upset, wails, but does well to calm herself o 05:23 – The anxious-preoccupied child will show tremendous distress, protest and will get angry o 05:58 – The avoidant-dismissive child will ignore mom on the outside, but on the inside he still feels extreme levels of distress o 07:06 – If you have secure parents, you will develop into a more secure person o 07:39 – Our personality develops in this childhood stage 08:34 – How your personality develops manifests in how you get attached to things 09:11 – Don’t put yourself in a box, instead look at the patterns! 09:36 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
One’s attachment is expressed on a spectrum—there are different types of attachment one may identify with. It takes time for people to change their attachment styles, but each person is capable of changing. Our personality developed as a child; we learn how to attach from our early experiences with our caregivers.
Resources Mentioned: Attached – Book about attachment that Joseph highly recommends
3 Key Points:
One’s attachment is expressed on a spectrum—there are different types of attachment one may identify with. It takes time for people to change their attachment styles, but each person is capable of changing. Our personality developed as a child; we learn how to attach from our early experiences with our caregivers.
Resources Mentioned: Attached – Book about attachment that Joseph highly recommends
12 Minuten
Summary: In this episode, Joseph breaks down self-parenting into 4 steps. Nobody is perfect in this world; in fact, we are all flawed and our parents are no exception to this rule. So what do we make of the hurt and pain that was caused by our parents? Moreover, how can we learn to self-parent ourselves and fill in the gaps from our childhood? Tune-in to hear the 4 steps of self-parenting that are essential to our well-being. Joseph will explain why we need to love ourselves, the importance of setting up healthy boundaries in relationships and the value of self-reflection and more when it comes to parenting ourselves. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:22 – Today’s episode is about Self-Parenting in 4 Steps 00:47 – Learning to self-parent is an essential quality all people must learn 01:26 – “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men” – Frederick Douglass 02:06 – In an evolutionary psychology perspective, emotional self-care takes place through different processes 02:55 – Our vulnerability (especially as children) opens up room for hurt and mistakes from parents 03:30 – As we go through the list, look at your own life 03:49 – Step #1: Self-Love o 04:13 – Someone with no self-esteem is easily swayed to think of themselves as failures o 04:41 – Love yourself for who you are o 05:01 – Appreciate who you are 05:15 – Step #2: Healthy Boundaries o 05:20 – Some boundaries parents set are either too heavy or too soft o 05:59 – How do you interact with others? o 06:34 – Relationship dynamics are all about boundaries o 07:28 – Have a healthy boundary on give-and-take 07:42 – Step #3: Self-Reflection o 07:59 – Sometimes people do things without thinking o 08:20 – Parents with severe blind spots is very tricky for a child o 09:14 – Self-reflection means being aware of your own blind spots 09:45 – Step #4: Self-Soothing and Self-Regulation o 09:58 – “We need to learn to take responsibility for our behaviors” 10:55 – The most functional homes still have missing pieces 11:34 – You don’t have to keep falling off track 11:40 – Be your own parent by self-parenting 11:46 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
Our parents are not perfect and neither are we – being hurt by our caregivers is an inevitable part of our human experience. Creating healthy boundaries with others is one way we take care of ourselves. You don’t have to rely on parents OR our past to dictate how we respond to life—you can self-parent yourself.
3 Key Points:
Our parents are not perfect and neither are we – being hurt by our caregivers is an inevitable part of our human experience. Creating healthy boundaries with others is one way we take care of ourselves. You don’t have to rely on parents OR our past to dictate how we respond to life—you can self-parent yourself.
10 Minuten
Summary: Are you ever hard on yourself? Do you have a tendency to blame yourself for things that are—quite literally—beyond your control? Well, you’re not alone. Lots of people are guilty of being overly critical of themselves. But for you—not anymore. In this episode, Joseph highlights the four most common denials and self-criticisms that, if left unchecked, can ruin your life. Listen to learn how you can keep these four psychological toxins from poisoning the well of your mind. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:22 – Today’s episode is about the 4 denials that can ruin your life 00:37 – Humans are the only creatures that can engage in harsh introspection o 01:17 – "You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time." – Abraham Lincoln o 01:27 – “You can’t fool yourself all the time” – Joseph Tropper 02:07 – The bigger you are as a person, the bigger your blind spot 02:33 – As a training therapist, Joseph found it helpful to record (with patient consent) sessions so he could go over the sessions repeatedly and assess himself 03:29 – 4 Denials We Live with: o 03:39 – Denial of our abilities 04:01 – People are good at things because they practice 05:03 – We deny our own abilities 05:27 – Ask yourself what your abilities really are o 05:59 – The look-at-yourself-first approach 06:30 – Look at yourself first before blaming anyone else o 06:43 – Denial of the self – we are not aware of our own needs 07:13 – “There’s this general understanding that the more of a martyr you are, the more you give of yourself and don’t take, the better the parent you are” 07:22 – You need to take care of yourself and teach your kids to do the same o 07:40 – Denial of the spirit 08:08 – If you’re part of a religious group, embrace the spiritual connection 09:09 – Ask yourself questions and look at yourself 09:28 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
You can fool yourself all the time – but deep down you usually really know what the truth is. You weren’t made to be martyr—learn to take care of yourself. More often than not, it’s not that you don’t have the ability, it’s that you haven’t practiced enough.
3 Key Points:
You can fool yourself all the time – but deep down you usually really know what the truth is. You weren’t made to be martyr—learn to take care of yourself. More often than not, it’s not that you don’t have the ability, it’s that you haven’t practiced enough.
11 Minuten
Summary: In this episode, Joseph explains the defense mechanisms that are built into us as human beings. Though they are intended to protect our ego and state of mind, they often end up damaging our relationships and pulling us further into blame and anger. Tune-in as Joseph uncovers the 7 most common defense mechanisms we all use to protect ourselves. His greatest hope in opening this discussion is that we become aware of our defenses and understand our ability to develop healthier ways to respond or deal with emotions, especially when involved with difficult interactions. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:22 – Today’s episode is about the 7 defense mechanisms we all use 00:45 – Defense mechanisms are ways to protect our ego 01:00 - “Defense mechanisms protect us but also blind us at the same time” – Joseph Tropper 01:11 – Defense mechanisms tend to blind us from our own parts 01:51 – The 7 defense mechanisms we all use: o 02:05 – Denial or “cognitive dissonance”—we deny negative things said about ourselves to protect our ego o 02:57 – Regression: an adult could have a 5-year old temper tantrum; they regress to an earlier stage of behavior instead of dealing with a problem the adult way o 04:21 – Disassociation: we zone out from things we don’t want to focus on because those events or situations hurt—how much am I present in the moment, and how much am I disassociating from the moment? o 05:33 – Compartmentalization: we ignore one piece of information that doesn’t relate to rest (ex. compartmentalize one bad action of parents that doesn’t fit into our perfect view of them) o 06:49 – Projection: we project past experiences with people into our new relationships and then try to protect ourselves from perceived threat o 08:12 – Reaction formation: when you oppose something that you actually endorse o 09:00 – Intellectualization: “don’t feel, just think”—this is when you blame other people for our problems or the situation that we contributed to 09:39 – “We are complex human beings”—they are mechanisms that are built-in to protect us, but they often blind us 10:02 – Therapy, or any outside perspective, can help guide us to better be aware of our blind spots 10:44 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes 10:55 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
Defense mechanisms are built-in ways we try to protect our ego—the problem with these mechanisms is that they often blind us from our behavior. Speak to an outside party who can call out our blind spots and help us to become aware of them. There are harmful ways designed to protect ourselves, but often fail us; our defense mechanisms have a way of hurting our relationships.
3 Key Points:
Defense mechanisms are built-in ways we try to protect our ego—the problem with these mechanisms is that they often blind us from our behavior. Speak to an outside party who can call out our blind spots and help us to become aware of them. There are harmful ways designed to protect ourselves, but often fail us; our defense mechanisms have a way of hurting our relationships.
11 Minuten
Summary:
Trauma, unfortunately, is an experience had by most. Each of us have traumatic events that have happened either in childhood or in our adult life that form or shape part of who we are. The key is to not let our traumatic experiences and feelings dictate the rest of our lives. Tune in to hear how the treatment for trauma is NOT one-size-fits-all and how talk therapy can even present negative consequences for your overall healing and treatment. In this episode, Joseph shares four steps that can help you recover from your trauma and explains how your healing only begins with a willingness on your behalf.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:22 – Trauma Part 2 – Recovery
01:00 – “Trauma is a fact of life … but it doesn’t have to be a life sentence” – Dr. Peter Levine
01:08 – We all have experienced trauma
01:34 – There is so much help that can be given to you and there’s so much that you can do about how you feel
02:31 – Selecting a therapist and modality
o02:47 – A lot of therapists don’t have specialized training in trauma
o03:42 – Oftentimes, recounting trauma can retraumatize you
o04:13 – EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a method Joseph suggests
o05:09 – Talk therapy makes trauma worse
o05:35 –TraumaHealing.orghas a tremendous amount of information on Dr. Levine’s form of treatment
o05:44 –Sensorimotor Psychotherapyby Dr. Pat Ogden, is another modality Joseph recommends
o06:27 – Yoga is very effective in treating trauma
06:41 – Stabilization
o06:58 – Rushing your healing and progress will backfire
o07:04 – Going at a slow pace is the fastest and best way to treat trauma
07:10 – The work
o07:29 – “Hysterical is historical”
o07:41 – Whenever you decide to do the work, be willing to do it
08:13 – Healing and repair
o08:17 – So many things will change as you take your life back
o08:37 – Healing and repair puts you in touch with your resources
08:41 – Again: “Trauma is a fact of life, but it doesn’t have to be a life sentence”
08:56 – 4 Books that Joseph wants to share with you:
oThe Body Keeps the Score
oWaking the Tiger
oIn an Unspoken Voice
oSensorimotor Psychotherapy
10:48 – Visit us onMind Your Mind
3 Key Points:
Choose a method of healing that will suit who you are and what you need.Heal at your own pace – the worst thing you can do for yourself is to rush things.Be willing to do the work; it all begins with you.
Resources Mentioned:
TraumaHealing.org– Website about trauma healing with information from Dr. Levine
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy– Dr. Pat Ogden’s website aboMind_Your_Mind_Ep_018ut how sensorimotor psychotherapy can help with trauma
The Body Keeps the Score,Waking the Tiger,In an Unspoken Voice,andSensorimotor Psychotherapy– 4 books that Joseph recommends
Trauma, unfortunately, is an experience had by most. Each of us have traumatic events that have happened either in childhood or in our adult life that form or shape part of who we are. The key is to not let our traumatic experiences and feelings dictate the rest of our lives. Tune in to hear how the treatment for trauma is NOT one-size-fits-all and how talk therapy can even present negative consequences for your overall healing and treatment. In this episode, Joseph shares four steps that can help you recover from your trauma and explains how your healing only begins with a willingness on your behalf.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:22 – Trauma Part 2 – Recovery
01:00 – “Trauma is a fact of life … but it doesn’t have to be a life sentence” – Dr. Peter Levine
01:08 – We all have experienced trauma
01:34 – There is so much help that can be given to you and there’s so much that you can do about how you feel
02:31 – Selecting a therapist and modality
o02:47 – A lot of therapists don’t have specialized training in trauma
o03:42 – Oftentimes, recounting trauma can retraumatize you
o04:13 – EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a method Joseph suggests
o05:09 – Talk therapy makes trauma worse
o05:35 –TraumaHealing.orghas a tremendous amount of information on Dr. Levine’s form of treatment
o05:44 –Sensorimotor Psychotherapyby Dr. Pat Ogden, is another modality Joseph recommends
o06:27 – Yoga is very effective in treating trauma
06:41 – Stabilization
o06:58 – Rushing your healing and progress will backfire
o07:04 – Going at a slow pace is the fastest and best way to treat trauma
07:10 – The work
o07:29 – “Hysterical is historical”
o07:41 – Whenever you decide to do the work, be willing to do it
08:13 – Healing and repair
o08:17 – So many things will change as you take your life back
o08:37 – Healing and repair puts you in touch with your resources
08:41 – Again: “Trauma is a fact of life, but it doesn’t have to be a life sentence”
08:56 – 4 Books that Joseph wants to share with you:
oThe Body Keeps the Score
oWaking the Tiger
oIn an Unspoken Voice
oSensorimotor Psychotherapy
10:48 – Visit us onMind Your Mind
3 Key Points:
Choose a method of healing that will suit who you are and what you need.Heal at your own pace – the worst thing you can do for yourself is to rush things.Be willing to do the work; it all begins with you.
Resources Mentioned:
TraumaHealing.org– Website about trauma healing with information from Dr. Levine
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy– Dr. Pat Ogden’s website aboMind_Your_Mind_Ep_018ut how sensorimotor psychotherapy can help with trauma
The Body Keeps the Score,Waking the Tiger,In an Unspoken Voice,andSensorimotor Psychotherapy– 4 books that Joseph recommends
10 Minuten
Summary:
In this episode, Joseph opens the first installment for the 2-Part Series for Trauma. Joseph defines trauma, discusses the importance of conceptualizing what it is to us, and expresses just how common it is to experience trauma. He refers to the work of Dr. Peter Levine, an expert in the field of trauma, to describe the symptoms one may experience if one has experienced trauma. Tune-in to see if you can relate to having any of these symptoms and how acknowledging your own trauma is the best way to face it head-on to get the help you need.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:23 – Today’s episode is the first installment of the 2-Part Series for trauma
00:41 – Trauma is a word that is very stigmatized
01:22 – Disclaimer: trauma work can be a real trigger for people
02:08 – 1.9 out of 2 people experience trauma
02:11 – Trauma can be described as so many things
02:20 – It could be a feeling of overwhelm mixed with a feeling of helplessness
03:04 – It’s important to conceptualize what trauma is
04:05 – Trauma is something happens to ALL people
05:03 – Dr. Peter Levine's symptoms that one has experienced trauma:
o05:18 – Hypervigilance
o05:28 – Intrusive Imagery/flashbacks
o05:48 – Extreme sensitivity to lights and sounds
o05:56 – Hyperactivity
o06:00 – Exaggerated emotional and startle responses
o06:20 – Shame and lack of self-worth
o06:48 – Reduced ability to deal with stress
o06:58 – Difficulty sleeping
07:17 –Waking the Tigeris Dr. Levine’s book on trauma
07:41 – Disassociation is also a symptom of trauma
08:06 – When it comes to trauma, be honest with yourself
09:13 – Next week’s episode will be about ways to deal with your feelings and experiences with trauma
09:37 – Please leave us a comment onMind Your Mindand a review oniTunes
3 Key Points:
Almost everyone will experience trauma in their lives.Conceptualizing trauma is important for yourself.You have to be honest with yourself, especially when it comes to asking and receiving help.
Resources Mentioned:
Dr. Peter Levine – An expert in trauma
Waking the Tiger– Dr. Levine’s book on trauma that Joseph recommends
In this episode, Joseph opens the first installment for the 2-Part Series for Trauma. Joseph defines trauma, discusses the importance of conceptualizing what it is to us, and expresses just how common it is to experience trauma. He refers to the work of Dr. Peter Levine, an expert in the field of trauma, to describe the symptoms one may experience if one has experienced trauma. Tune-in to see if you can relate to having any of these symptoms and how acknowledging your own trauma is the best way to face it head-on to get the help you need.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:23 – Today’s episode is the first installment of the 2-Part Series for trauma
00:41 – Trauma is a word that is very stigmatized
01:22 – Disclaimer: trauma work can be a real trigger for people
02:08 – 1.9 out of 2 people experience trauma
02:11 – Trauma can be described as so many things
02:20 – It could be a feeling of overwhelm mixed with a feeling of helplessness
03:04 – It’s important to conceptualize what trauma is
04:05 – Trauma is something happens to ALL people
05:03 – Dr. Peter Levine's symptoms that one has experienced trauma:
o05:18 – Hypervigilance
o05:28 – Intrusive Imagery/flashbacks
o05:48 – Extreme sensitivity to lights and sounds
o05:56 – Hyperactivity
o06:00 – Exaggerated emotional and startle responses
o06:20 – Shame and lack of self-worth
o06:48 – Reduced ability to deal with stress
o06:58 – Difficulty sleeping
07:17 –Waking the Tigeris Dr. Levine’s book on trauma
07:41 – Disassociation is also a symptom of trauma
08:06 – When it comes to trauma, be honest with yourself
09:13 – Next week’s episode will be about ways to deal with your feelings and experiences with trauma
09:37 – Please leave us a comment onMind Your Mindand a review oniTunes
3 Key Points:
Almost everyone will experience trauma in their lives.Conceptualizing trauma is important for yourself.You have to be honest with yourself, especially when it comes to asking and receiving help.
Resources Mentioned:
Dr. Peter Levine – An expert in trauma
Waking the Tiger– Dr. Levine’s book on trauma that Joseph recommends
11 Minuten
In this episode, Joseph teaches usDr. Bernie Siegel’s 4 Self-Healing Lessons. Not everyone would agree that mind and body connection is considered a mental health topic, but it truly is. The state of your mind and what you believe often precedes what your body will do. This is precisely why healing begins in the mind. Tune-in as Joseph discusses Dr. Bernie’s self-healing lessons and the RIGHT way healthcare givers can advocate and encourage their patients in their healing process.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:23 – Today’s episode is 4 Self-Healing Lessons byDr. Bernie Siegel
01:05 – “We all know that there’s a mind and body connection”
01:51 –Dr. Bernie Siegelwas born in New York
o02:03 – He retired from his practice in 1989 and since then, he’s talked to patients and caregivers about mental health
o02:20 – In 1978, he originated what he called the Exceptional Cancer Patients, which he still runs in part
o03:01 – One of his famous books isLove, Medicine & Miracles
o03:14 – His big complaint is that “as doctors, we are not trained to communicate and understand the power of our words as they relate to a patient’s ability and desire to survive”
03:36 – Majority of medical school students when asked to draw a picture of where they see themselves in 5 years produce a picture focused on thier own prestige instead of client interaction and care.
04:24 – It’s true that doctors must have boundaries
04:42 – The distance doctors create with their patients most often lead to poor medical care
05:00 – Here are the 4 Self-Healing Lessons byDr. Bernie Siegel:
o05:03 – 1) Our desire to live brings life
o05:53 – 2) Pay attention to dreams and art
o06:42 – 3) Love is healing
o07:15 – 4) Our inner strength and knowledge are vital
09:23 – Whenever Joseph works with his clients, he lets his clients know that he believes in them
09:49 – When you believe and advocate for yourself, you’re on the path to better health
09:56 – Check out Dr. Siegel’swebsite
10:25 – Experience has shown all of us that the mind and body connection is real
10:44 – Please leave us a comment onMind Your Mindand a review oniTunes
3 Key Points:
Doctors need to learn how to communicate with their patients WITHOUT the barriers of superiority.As caregivers and doctors—SHOW that you believe in your patients and that you care about their health.What your mind believes, your body follows.
Resources Mentioned:
Dr. Bernie Siegel– Doctor that created the 4 Self-Healing Lessons
Exceptional Cancer Patients– Group that Dr. Bernie formed for cancer patients
Love, Medicine & Miracles– Dr. Bernie’s book that Joseph recommends
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:23 – Today’s episode is 4 Self-Healing Lessons byDr. Bernie Siegel
01:05 – “We all know that there’s a mind and body connection”
01:51 –Dr. Bernie Siegelwas born in New York
o02:03 – He retired from his practice in 1989 and since then, he’s talked to patients and caregivers about mental health
o02:20 – In 1978, he originated what he called the Exceptional Cancer Patients, which he still runs in part
o03:01 – One of his famous books isLove, Medicine & Miracles
o03:14 – His big complaint is that “as doctors, we are not trained to communicate and understand the power of our words as they relate to a patient’s ability and desire to survive”
03:36 – Majority of medical school students when asked to draw a picture of where they see themselves in 5 years produce a picture focused on thier own prestige instead of client interaction and care.
04:24 – It’s true that doctors must have boundaries
04:42 – The distance doctors create with their patients most often lead to poor medical care
05:00 – Here are the 4 Self-Healing Lessons byDr. Bernie Siegel:
o05:03 – 1) Our desire to live brings life
o05:53 – 2) Pay attention to dreams and art
o06:42 – 3) Love is healing
o07:15 – 4) Our inner strength and knowledge are vital
09:23 – Whenever Joseph works with his clients, he lets his clients know that he believes in them
09:49 – When you believe and advocate for yourself, you’re on the path to better health
09:56 – Check out Dr. Siegel’swebsite
10:25 – Experience has shown all of us that the mind and body connection is real
10:44 – Please leave us a comment onMind Your Mindand a review oniTunes
3 Key Points:
Doctors need to learn how to communicate with their patients WITHOUT the barriers of superiority.As caregivers and doctors—SHOW that you believe in your patients and that you care about their health.What your mind believes, your body follows.
Resources Mentioned:
Dr. Bernie Siegel– Doctor that created the 4 Self-Healing Lessons
Exceptional Cancer Patients– Group that Dr. Bernie formed for cancer patients
Love, Medicine & Miracles– Dr. Bernie’s book that Joseph recommends
10 Minuten
Summary:
In this episode, Joseph talks about trip planning. Trips are highly anticipated events in our lives. They bring promise of adventure, exploration, or just rest and relaxation. What people often forget though are the stress and hassles that come along with a trip. These can include entering a new culture and language, different people’s travel styles and/or expectations of the trip itself, and family or individual needs while traveling. Listen as Joseph lists ways you can cut down these potential stressors in order to have that vacation you’ve hoped for.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:23 – Today’s episode is the trip planning session
00:31 – “A lot of people run into problems when they travel”
00:40 – Couples and families have these issues
00:52 – Frustration comes from different agendas each person may have
01:31 – You can get this episode’s printout atMind Your Mind
01:52 – “To travel is to take a journey into yourself” – Danny Kaye
03:18 – Write down your plans
o03:25 – Go easy on the travel days
03:55 – Identify triggers
o04:00 – Money
o04:06 – Work and other stress
o04:10 – Travel styles
o04:25 – Vacation ideals
o04:41 – Being outside your norm
o04:50 – Interacting with others
o05:00 – Kids and family needs
05:12 – Expectations
o05:24 – Set 3 goals you want to accomplish
o05:40 – Write down your 3 fears
o05:57 – Write the best and worst case scenarios
06:28 – Dividing your time
o06:42 – Keep travel days light
o07:00 – Plan the days in between with others
o07:17 – Talk about your basic priorities
07:48 – Troubleshoot how you can get back on track
o08:11 – Have a Reset Truce
08:49 – Plan ahead of time; at the same time, you don’t have to map everything out
09:26 – Please leave us a comment onMind Your Mindand a review oniTunes
09:44 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
Planning your trip ahead of time will save you from a lot of stress and unexpected hassles.Identify the triggers of your trip so you can mentally (and physically) prepare for these potential stressors.Communication is of utmost importance when planning a trip, so be open to taking suggestions.
In this episode, Joseph talks about trip planning. Trips are highly anticipated events in our lives. They bring promise of adventure, exploration, or just rest and relaxation. What people often forget though are the stress and hassles that come along with a trip. These can include entering a new culture and language, different people’s travel styles and/or expectations of the trip itself, and family or individual needs while traveling. Listen as Joseph lists ways you can cut down these potential stressors in order to have that vacation you’ve hoped for.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:23 – Today’s episode is the trip planning session
00:31 – “A lot of people run into problems when they travel”
00:40 – Couples and families have these issues
00:52 – Frustration comes from different agendas each person may have
01:31 – You can get this episode’s printout atMind Your Mind
01:52 – “To travel is to take a journey into yourself” – Danny Kaye
03:18 – Write down your plans
o03:25 – Go easy on the travel days
03:55 – Identify triggers
o04:00 – Money
o04:06 – Work and other stress
o04:10 – Travel styles
o04:25 – Vacation ideals
o04:41 – Being outside your norm
o04:50 – Interacting with others
o05:00 – Kids and family needs
05:12 – Expectations
o05:24 – Set 3 goals you want to accomplish
o05:40 – Write down your 3 fears
o05:57 – Write the best and worst case scenarios
06:28 – Dividing your time
o06:42 – Keep travel days light
o07:00 – Plan the days in between with others
o07:17 – Talk about your basic priorities
07:48 – Troubleshoot how you can get back on track
o08:11 – Have a Reset Truce
08:49 – Plan ahead of time; at the same time, you don’t have to map everything out
09:26 – Please leave us a comment onMind Your Mindand a review oniTunes
09:44 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
Planning your trip ahead of time will save you from a lot of stress and unexpected hassles.Identify the triggers of your trip so you can mentally (and physically) prepare for these potential stressors.Communication is of utmost importance when planning a trip, so be open to taking suggestions.
10 Minuten
Summary:
In this episode, Joseph ends the hypnosis series with 3 hypnosis superscripts, including one that helps cure a headache. Joseph invites you to participate in these exercises so that you can experience deep relaxation and rest. These superscripts will encourage you to clear your mind and expel any negative energy and stressors—bringing you to a whole new place of peace and relaxation.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:26 – Today’s episode is Part 2 of the hypnosis series – 3 Hypnosis Superscripts
00:49 – Joseph encourages you to be in a quiet place to participate in the exercise
01:46 – Don’t operate any heavy machinery during the session
02:10 – Let your brain and body relax
02:30 – First superscript – Imagine yourself standing on top of a staircase
o02:42 – There are 10 steps leading down and as you walk down, you notice these sensations in your body
o03:09 – As you continue to walk down, you go into a deep sleep, feeling relaxation and comfort
o03:17 – At zero, you will be in a deep sleep
o03:27 – Joseph counts down 10-1
o03:40 – Deep sleep and relaxation
o03:49 – There’s a light coming from the door
o03:59 – You find yourself in a place of escape
o04:12 – Sit down and notice all of your senses
o04:34 – Exercise 1 is just deep relaxation
o04:37 – Take 3 deep breaths, expelling negative energy and stress
o05:25 – Take the feeling and anchor it
o05:37 – Come up with an anchor word that describes how you’re feeling right now
o05:53 – Think of a person, place or thing that will be your anchor
o06:07 – Your anchor word will be your post-hypnotic suggestion that will make you feel relaxed and comfortable
06:33 – Headache Cure
o06:43 – Imagine a dial from 1-10
o06:54 – Imagine you put your hand on the dial going down while you feel your pain subsiding
o07:17 – Deep sleep and relaxation
o07:21 – Use your right hand to massage your left shoulder and say, “It’s okay, it’s not my responsibility”
o07:48 – Use your left arm and rub away the tension on your right hand
08:10 – Family of Origin
o08:14 – Close your eyes and relax – ask yourself to consider the feelings and thoughts of your childhood
o08:31 – Think of how it impacts you today
o08:44 – Count from 3-0 and go into a deep sleep and relaxation
o08:55 – Imagine yourself standing in the doorway, seeing the steps going up
o09:01 – As you walk up, your body grows more awake
o09:15 – Joseph counts 1 to 10
o09:36 – Eyes open and wide awake
09:45 – Please leave us a comment onMind Your Mindand leave a review oniTunes
09:55 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
An anchor word that describes how you feel at the end of a meditative exercise can help bring you back to that place of peace and relaxation.Superscripts for hypnosis guide you into a calmer state of body and mind.When participating in these series, try to find a quiet place and allow your mind and thoughts to relax and guide you.
In this episode, Joseph ends the hypnosis series with 3 hypnosis superscripts, including one that helps cure a headache. Joseph invites you to participate in these exercises so that you can experience deep relaxation and rest. These superscripts will encourage you to clear your mind and expel any negative energy and stressors—bringing you to a whole new place of peace and relaxation.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:26 – Today’s episode is Part 2 of the hypnosis series – 3 Hypnosis Superscripts
00:49 – Joseph encourages you to be in a quiet place to participate in the exercise
01:46 – Don’t operate any heavy machinery during the session
02:10 – Let your brain and body relax
02:30 – First superscript – Imagine yourself standing on top of a staircase
o02:42 – There are 10 steps leading down and as you walk down, you notice these sensations in your body
o03:09 – As you continue to walk down, you go into a deep sleep, feeling relaxation and comfort
o03:17 – At zero, you will be in a deep sleep
o03:27 – Joseph counts down 10-1
o03:40 – Deep sleep and relaxation
o03:49 – There’s a light coming from the door
o03:59 – You find yourself in a place of escape
o04:12 – Sit down and notice all of your senses
o04:34 – Exercise 1 is just deep relaxation
o04:37 – Take 3 deep breaths, expelling negative energy and stress
o05:25 – Take the feeling and anchor it
o05:37 – Come up with an anchor word that describes how you’re feeling right now
o05:53 – Think of a person, place or thing that will be your anchor
o06:07 – Your anchor word will be your post-hypnotic suggestion that will make you feel relaxed and comfortable
06:33 – Headache Cure
o06:43 – Imagine a dial from 1-10
o06:54 – Imagine you put your hand on the dial going down while you feel your pain subsiding
o07:17 – Deep sleep and relaxation
o07:21 – Use your right hand to massage your left shoulder and say, “It’s okay, it’s not my responsibility”
o07:48 – Use your left arm and rub away the tension on your right hand
08:10 – Family of Origin
o08:14 – Close your eyes and relax – ask yourself to consider the feelings and thoughts of your childhood
o08:31 – Think of how it impacts you today
o08:44 – Count from 3-0 and go into a deep sleep and relaxation
o08:55 – Imagine yourself standing in the doorway, seeing the steps going up
o09:01 – As you walk up, your body grows more awake
o09:15 – Joseph counts 1 to 10
o09:36 – Eyes open and wide awake
09:45 – Please leave us a comment onMind Your Mindand leave a review oniTunes
09:55 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
An anchor word that describes how you feel at the end of a meditative exercise can help bring you back to that place of peace and relaxation.Superscripts for hypnosis guide you into a calmer state of body and mind.When participating in these series, try to find a quiet place and allow your mind and thoughts to relax and guide you.
9 Minuten
Summary:
In this episode, Joseph teaches us about hypnosis and dispels the myths around its practice. What is hypnosis? Does it work? If I get hypnotized, am I still in control? Listen to find out the origins of hypnosis and how hypnotherapy can help those who struggle with smoking, alcoholism and phobias to name a few. Joseph also discusses the myths of hypnosis including whether or not you can control someone in a state of hypnosis and if one can get “stuck” in hypnosis.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:31 – Today’s topic: Hypnosis Part 1
00:35 – Send your questions toMind Your Mind
00:46 – This will be the introduction on hypnosis
01:05 – Part 2 will provide a demonstration of three Hypnosis Superscripts
01:30 – Hypnotherapy has been around for hundreds of years
01:37 –Dr. Franz Mesmermade hypnosis famous
o01:51 – In his time, hypnosis was called animal magnetism
o02:09 – He mastered this art and passed on his own development of hynosis
02:28 – Many psychologists use hypnotherapy andDr. Sigmund Freudwas one who slowed down the growth of hypnotherapy
03:19 – Hypnotherapy has been revitalized and used to effectively help clients with smoking, drug, alcoholism, fears, and phobias
04:08 – “You could use hypnosis not as a cure, but a means of establishing a favorable climate in which to learn” – Milton H. Erickson
04:27 – 4 Myths of Hypnotherapy
o04:28 – #1 It doesn’t work
o05:57 – #2 It works miracles
o �� 06:19 – #3 You can control someone else
o07:14 – #4 You can get stuck in hypnosis
08:03 – If you decide to go under hypnosis, always check the person’s credentials first
08:14 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
Hypnosis is only effective when the one being hypnotized chooses to participate.Hypnosis cannot work miracles; but, it can create a more favorable climate to bring out that which is inside of you.One word of caution—check the credentials of the one that is hypnotizing you.
Resources Mentioned:
Dr. Franz Mesmer– the person who made hypnosis famous
Dr. Sigmund Freud– the person who made hypnotherapy growth slow
In this episode, Joseph teaches us about hypnosis and dispels the myths around its practice. What is hypnosis? Does it work? If I get hypnotized, am I still in control? Listen to find out the origins of hypnosis and how hypnotherapy can help those who struggle with smoking, alcoholism and phobias to name a few. Joseph also discusses the myths of hypnosis including whether or not you can control someone in a state of hypnosis and if one can get “stuck” in hypnosis.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:31 – Today’s topic: Hypnosis Part 1
00:35 – Send your questions toMind Your Mind
00:46 – This will be the introduction on hypnosis
01:05 – Part 2 will provide a demonstration of three Hypnosis Superscripts
01:30 – Hypnotherapy has been around for hundreds of years
01:37 –Dr. Franz Mesmermade hypnosis famous
o01:51 – In his time, hypnosis was called animal magnetism
o02:09 – He mastered this art and passed on his own development of hynosis
02:28 – Many psychologists use hypnotherapy andDr. Sigmund Freudwas one who slowed down the growth of hypnotherapy
03:19 – Hypnotherapy has been revitalized and used to effectively help clients with smoking, drug, alcoholism, fears, and phobias
04:08 – “You could use hypnosis not as a cure, but a means of establishing a favorable climate in which to learn” – Milton H. Erickson
04:27 – 4 Myths of Hypnotherapy
o04:28 – #1 It doesn’t work
o05:57 – #2 It works miracles
o �� 06:19 – #3 You can control someone else
o07:14 – #4 You can get stuck in hypnosis
08:03 – If you decide to go under hypnosis, always check the person’s credentials first
08:14 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
Hypnosis is only effective when the one being hypnotized chooses to participate.Hypnosis cannot work miracles; but, it can create a more favorable climate to bring out that which is inside of you.One word of caution—check the credentials of the one that is hypnotizing you.
Resources Mentioned:
Dr. Franz Mesmer– the person who made hypnosis famous
Dr. Sigmund Freud– the person who made hypnotherapy growth slow
12 Minuten
Summary:
In this episode, Joseph gives us 5 ways to financial sanity. Our everyday lives are riddled with expenses—some planned, some not. So, it’s no surprise that one can easily find oneself in a hole of debt without much recollection of how one ended up there. This needs to change. The average American has $18K in debt, and living in a state of financial strain can directly affect our state of mind. Listen as Joseph encourages us to take control and responsibility over our finances and offers some practical tips and advice that will help us work toward living a debt-free life.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:26 – Today’s topic: 5 Ways to Financial Sanity
00:57 – Difficulties in finances lead us to depression and anxiety
01:32 – The average American has $18K in debt
01:53 – A $10K debt can double your chance for divorce
02:12 – This segment is in response to Chris’s question – send your question or comment toMind Your Mind
02:36 –Joe, I can’t seem to get on top of my finances. Perhaps this is the wrong place to ask for help, but can you give me some tips?
02:44 – This is actually the right place to get help
02:52 – Getting out of debt is 80% behavior and 20% knowledge—you know what you need to be doing, but your habits keep you down
03:40 – Speak to a financial adviser
04:08 – Joe’s favorite quote regarding money: “A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went” – Dave Ramsey
04:32 – #1: Take responsibility
05:27 – Change your mindset in thinking that this is outside of your control and that you’re a “slave” to your debt
05:51 – #2: Get on a budget
06:32 – Get Dave Ramsey’s app,EveryDollarand track your money
06:50 – Read Dave Ramsey’sThe Total Money Makeover
07:23 –Financial Peace University
07:36 – #3: Start a Debt Snowball
07:56 – Write down all the debt that you have, listing them in smallest to largest order. Pay off the smallest debt first and then knock the rest down in order
08:34 – #4: Reach out for accountability or help
09:26 – #5: Celebrate your successes and set clear goals
09:33 – As you start getting out of debt, you’re going to love the freedom that living debt-free gives you
10:14 – Live with freedom; debt holds us down, but it does NOT have to
10:28 – When you make that commitment to work on getting debt-free, amazing things can happen for your life
10:45 – Thank you for listening!
11:08 – Please leave us a review oniTunes,share us with a friend, and let us know if you’ve made a change for the better with your finances after tuning in!
11:14 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
Life happens and it’s very normal to get stuck in debt, BUT it’s your choice to STAY there.Living debt-free can give you a new sense of freedom over your life and finances.Get accountability if you need some extra help and guidance – don’t be afraid to reach out to others for support.
Resources Mentioned:
EveryDollar– Dave Ramsey’s money tracker app.
The Total Money Makeover– Book that Joseph recommends to read.
Financial Peace University– Dave Ramsey’s course that Joseph recommends to enroll to.
In this episode, Joseph gives us 5 ways to financial sanity. Our everyday lives are riddled with expenses—some planned, some not. So, it’s no surprise that one can easily find oneself in a hole of debt without much recollection of how one ended up there. This needs to change. The average American has $18K in debt, and living in a state of financial strain can directly affect our state of mind. Listen as Joseph encourages us to take control and responsibility over our finances and offers some practical tips and advice that will help us work toward living a debt-free life.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:26 – Today’s topic: 5 Ways to Financial Sanity
00:57 – Difficulties in finances lead us to depression and anxiety
01:32 – The average American has $18K in debt
01:53 – A $10K debt can double your chance for divorce
02:12 – This segment is in response to Chris’s question – send your question or comment toMind Your Mind
02:36 –Joe, I can’t seem to get on top of my finances. Perhaps this is the wrong place to ask for help, but can you give me some tips?
02:44 – This is actually the right place to get help
02:52 – Getting out of debt is 80% behavior and 20% knowledge—you know what you need to be doing, but your habits keep you down
03:40 – Speak to a financial adviser
04:08 – Joe’s favorite quote regarding money: “A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went” – Dave Ramsey
04:32 – #1: Take responsibility
05:27 – Change your mindset in thinking that this is outside of your control and that you’re a “slave” to your debt
05:51 – #2: Get on a budget
06:32 – Get Dave Ramsey’s app,EveryDollarand track your money
06:50 – Read Dave Ramsey’sThe Total Money Makeover
07:23 –Financial Peace University
07:36 – #3: Start a Debt Snowball
07:56 – Write down all the debt that you have, listing them in smallest to largest order. Pay off the smallest debt first and then knock the rest down in order
08:34 – #4: Reach out for accountability or help
09:26 – #5: Celebrate your successes and set clear goals
09:33 – As you start getting out of debt, you’re going to love the freedom that living debt-free gives you
10:14 – Live with freedom; debt holds us down, but it does NOT have to
10:28 – When you make that commitment to work on getting debt-free, amazing things can happen for your life
10:45 – Thank you for listening!
11:08 – Please leave us a review oniTunes,share us with a friend, and let us know if you’ve made a change for the better with your finances after tuning in!
11:14 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
Life happens and it’s very normal to get stuck in debt, BUT it’s your choice to STAY there.Living debt-free can give you a new sense of freedom over your life and finances.Get accountability if you need some extra help and guidance – don’t be afraid to reach out to others for support.
Resources Mentioned:
EveryDollar– Dave Ramsey’s money tracker app.
The Total Money Makeover– Book that Joseph recommends to read.
Financial Peace University– Dave Ramsey’s course that Joseph recommends to enroll to.
10 Minuten
Summary:
Self-esteem and self-love is an undeniable, human need. How well we perceive and much we value ourselves affects all aspects of our lives, including our mental health. A low self-esteem can result in depression, anxiety, and essentially get in the way of us living our lives. So how do we “work on” our self-esteem? In this episode, Joseph lists 5 Tips for Loving Yourself. If we can learn to appreciate and accept who we are—our values and what we have to offer—this can pave the way to a positive self-esteem and a healthier life.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:26 – Today’s topic: 5 Tips for Loving Yourself
00:51 – At the core of mental health concerns is a lack of self-esteem
01:32 – We all need self-esteem and self-love
02:01 – People with anxiety or depression often have low self-esteem
02:14 – Learn how to love yourself
02:25 – Dr. Glenn Schiraldi’s book,The Self-Esteem Workbookis worth checking out
03:01 – "Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on." – Maxwell Maltz
03:11 – Low self esteem gets in your way
03:29 – This episode is in response to Jenny from Maryland,“How do I work on my self-esteem? I just seem to constantly get pushed down at work and home and can’t keep my head up above water”
04:22 – We have to be realistic, we have to know who we are
04:49 – The 5 Tips for Loving Yourself:
o04:51 – Define your role model
o05:50 – Appreciate both your outer and inner world
o06:49 – Respect yourself and others
o07:18 – Think about your values
o08:08 – Polish your acceptance; work on accepting yourself
08:58 – You can download this list and other materials atMind Your Mind
09:15 – Self-esteem is something that could impact your life
09:19 – “When we have a better understanding of our identity, we accomplish more and we feel better about what we’re doing”
09:34 – Please leave us a review oniTunes
09:44 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
Our self-esteem has a direct impact on our mental health—therefore, it’s worth working on.We need to learn how to love ourselves: this includes respecting, understanding, and accepting who we are.Appreciate who you are and what you have to offer—this is the starting point of a healthier you.
Resources Mentioned:
The Self Esteem Workbook– Book that Joseph recommends to read for self esteem and self love.
Self-esteem and self-love is an undeniable, human need. How well we perceive and much we value ourselves affects all aspects of our lives, including our mental health. A low self-esteem can result in depression, anxiety, and essentially get in the way of us living our lives. So how do we “work on” our self-esteem? In this episode, Joseph lists 5 Tips for Loving Yourself. If we can learn to appreciate and accept who we are—our values and what we have to offer—this can pave the way to a positive self-esteem and a healthier life.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:26 – Today’s topic: 5 Tips for Loving Yourself
00:51 – At the core of mental health concerns is a lack of self-esteem
01:32 – We all need self-esteem and self-love
02:01 – People with anxiety or depression often have low self-esteem
02:14 – Learn how to love yourself
02:25 – Dr. Glenn Schiraldi’s book,The Self-Esteem Workbookis worth checking out
03:01 – "Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on." – Maxwell Maltz
03:11 – Low self esteem gets in your way
03:29 – This episode is in response to Jenny from Maryland,“How do I work on my self-esteem? I just seem to constantly get pushed down at work and home and can’t keep my head up above water”
04:22 – We have to be realistic, we have to know who we are
04:49 – The 5 Tips for Loving Yourself:
o04:51 – Define your role model
o05:50 – Appreciate both your outer and inner world
o06:49 – Respect yourself and others
o07:18 – Think about your values
o08:08 – Polish your acceptance; work on accepting yourself
08:58 – You can download this list and other materials atMind Your Mind
09:15 – Self-esteem is something that could impact your life
09:19 – “When we have a better understanding of our identity, we accomplish more and we feel better about what we’re doing”
09:34 – Please leave us a review oniTunes
09:44 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
Our self-esteem has a direct impact on our mental health—therefore, it’s worth working on.We need to learn how to love ourselves: this includes respecting, understanding, and accepting who we are.Appreciate who you are and what you have to offer—this is the starting point of a healthier you.
Resources Mentioned:
The Self Esteem Workbook– Book that Joseph recommends to read for self esteem and self love.
14 Minuten
Summary:
In Episode 010, Joseph explains to us the 4 disasters of relationships and the 7 master skills to overcome them based on the work of Dr. John Gottman, an expert in the field of marriage research. Challenges in marriage and relationships are a given and can easily overwhelm us, especially if we’re left without some practical help and advice. We can all relate to feelings of contempt and times when we’ve been critical of our partners—2 of the 4 disasters that can really hurt a relationship. The good news is that we CAN change the course of our relationships. Tune in to find out Dr. Gottman’s 7 master skills that will overcome the 4 disasters and in turn, improve our marriages and relationships.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:25 – Today’s topic: 7 Relationship Master Skills to Overcome 4 Disasters
00:52 – Joseph will be referring to the works ofDr. John Gottman, an expert in marriage research
02:13 – “Friendship fuels the flames of romance, because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial toward your spouse.” – John Gottman
02:34 – Understanding the 4 disasters and applying the 7 master skills will help your life and relationships
03:22 – The “Four Horsemen of Gottman’s Apocalypse” are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling
03:29 – Criticism is attacking your partner’s personality or character to prove them wrong
03:46 – Criticism is the opposite of intimacy and closeness
04:16 – Contempt is attacking your partner's sense of self and looking down on them
04:45 – Contempt is sulfuric acid for love
05:35 – This destroys relationships
05:42 – Look at yourself because contempt is a contagious disease
05:56 – Defensiveness is seeing yourself as the victim
06:28 – Stonewalling is withdrawing from the relationship or conversation to avoid conflict
06:43 – Stonewalling shows disapproval, distance, and disconnection
07:05 – The general solution is to take notice of these four disasters in your relationship
07:12 – Here are the 7 Solutions to counter criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling:
07:19 – #1: Share clear hurts and requests – “When you insulted me in public, I felt very sad and alone. I want you to tell me you’ll make an effort not to insult me in public again”
08:00 – #2 Use a soft startup, start from a place of unarguable truth, and listen generously
08:28 – #3 Shift to appreciation
08:42 – #4 Claim responsibility
08:52 – #5 Rewrite your inner script
09:08 – #6 Practice becoming non-defensive
09:35 – #7 Help your partner reach their dreams
09:41 – Joseph shares Dr. Gottman’s story of how he tried to publish his marriage book
10:00 – After several rejections, he ended up with one publishing executive who asked him to give him practical marriage advice in 30 seconds
10:19 – Dr. Gottman said “Honor your wife’s dreams” and the executive walked out
10:30 – A few days later he got the call saying he got the contract
10:43 – Dr. Gottman found out later that the executive went straight home and had a meaningful conversation with his wife about her dreams—his advice made an impact
11:21 – We all enter relationships with the idea that we’re going to help each other; but when we really honor each other’s dreams, it can repair and change a relationship for the better
11:39 – Get rid of the 4 negative horsemen
12:06 – James says,“My spouse speaks to me with contempt and says that I do the same to her. How do I get her to stop saying this?”– Start looking at yourself and see where you get triggered. Be curious and ask how you can work on it.
13:22 – All 4 disasters destroy marriages
13:46 – Please don’t forget to rate us and leave us a review oniTunes!
13:53 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
The 4 disasters WILL destroy your marriage; so take notice of whether or not they are present in your relationship.The solution is to start a conversation from a soft place with your unarguable truths—this sets you and your partner up for success.Always look at yourself FIRST, before confronting your partner about how they treat you.
Resources Mentioned:
Dr. John Gottman– An expert in relationships and marriage research
Download PDF – A PDF summary of the 4 Disasters and 7 Masters Skills by Joseph Tropper
In Episode 010, Joseph explains to us the 4 disasters of relationships and the 7 master skills to overcome them based on the work of Dr. John Gottman, an expert in the field of marriage research. Challenges in marriage and relationships are a given and can easily overwhelm us, especially if we’re left without some practical help and advice. We can all relate to feelings of contempt and times when we’ve been critical of our partners—2 of the 4 disasters that can really hurt a relationship. The good news is that we CAN change the course of our relationships. Tune in to find out Dr. Gottman’s 7 master skills that will overcome the 4 disasters and in turn, improve our marriages and relationships.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:25 – Today’s topic: 7 Relationship Master Skills to Overcome 4 Disasters
00:52 – Joseph will be referring to the works ofDr. John Gottman, an expert in marriage research
02:13 – “Friendship fuels the flames of romance, because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial toward your spouse.” – John Gottman
02:34 – Understanding the 4 disasters and applying the 7 master skills will help your life and relationships
03:22 – The “Four Horsemen of Gottman’s Apocalypse” are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling
03:29 – Criticism is attacking your partner’s personality or character to prove them wrong
03:46 – Criticism is the opposite of intimacy and closeness
04:16 – Contempt is attacking your partner's sense of self and looking down on them
04:45 – Contempt is sulfuric acid for love
05:35 – This destroys relationships
05:42 – Look at yourself because contempt is a contagious disease
05:56 – Defensiveness is seeing yourself as the victim
06:28 – Stonewalling is withdrawing from the relationship or conversation to avoid conflict
06:43 – Stonewalling shows disapproval, distance, and disconnection
07:05 – The general solution is to take notice of these four disasters in your relationship
07:12 – Here are the 7 Solutions to counter criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling:
07:19 – #1: Share clear hurts and requests – “When you insulted me in public, I felt very sad and alone. I want you to tell me you’ll make an effort not to insult me in public again”
08:00 – #2 Use a soft startup, start from a place of unarguable truth, and listen generously
08:28 – #3 Shift to appreciation
08:42 – #4 Claim responsibility
08:52 – #5 Rewrite your inner script
09:08 – #6 Practice becoming non-defensive
09:35 – #7 Help your partner reach their dreams
09:41 – Joseph shares Dr. Gottman’s story of how he tried to publish his marriage book
10:00 – After several rejections, he ended up with one publishing executive who asked him to give him practical marriage advice in 30 seconds
10:19 – Dr. Gottman said “Honor your wife’s dreams” and the executive walked out
10:30 – A few days later he got the call saying he got the contract
10:43 – Dr. Gottman found out later that the executive went straight home and had a meaningful conversation with his wife about her dreams—his advice made an impact
11:21 – We all enter relationships with the idea that we’re going to help each other; but when we really honor each other’s dreams, it can repair and change a relationship for the better
11:39 – Get rid of the 4 negative horsemen
12:06 – James says,“My spouse speaks to me with contempt and says that I do the same to her. How do I get her to stop saying this?”– Start looking at yourself and see where you get triggered. Be curious and ask how you can work on it.
13:22 – All 4 disasters destroy marriages
13:46 – Please don’t forget to rate us and leave us a review oniTunes!
13:53 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
The 4 disasters WILL destroy your marriage; so take notice of whether or not they are present in your relationship.The solution is to start a conversation from a soft place with your unarguable truths—this sets you and your partner up for success.Always look at yourself FIRST, before confronting your partner about how they treat you.
Resources Mentioned:
Dr. John Gottman– An expert in relationships and marriage research
Download PDF – A PDF summary of the 4 Disasters and 7 Masters Skills by Joseph Tropper
13 Minuten
Summary:
In Episode 009, Joseph lists the 10 tips for emotional regulation. Every day is filled with its stressors and we’re left with the question—how do we respond? Do we let our emotions guide or lead our response or do we have control over our emotions? Emotional dysregulation—like getting upset—is a very common occurrence for all of us. In this podcast, Joseph will give us a more rounded view of how to perceive our emotions and the ways in which we can better regulate them—for your benefit and for the benefit of your relationships, too.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:28 – Today’s topic: 10 Tips for Emotional Regulation
00:55 – There are different levels of emotional dysregulation
01:13 – “Emotions come and go, but they feel so strong”
01:23 – Emotion comes from the root “motion” which means movement, they are there to guide us, push us, and motivate us to action
01:48 – Be aware that emotion comes from the amygdala – the body’s alarm system
02:30 – We can slow emotions down in order to decipher what’s worth reacting to and what needs to be controlled better
02:50 – “Emotions are a temporary state of mind, don’t let them permanently destroy you” – Anonymous
03:00 – 10 Ways to Keep Yourself Emotionally Regulated
o03:11 – Want to print out this list? Go toMind Your Mind
o03:34 – #1 Buy time and take a break
o04:38 – #2 Identify your needs
o05:07 – #3 Call out what’s going on
o05:35 – #4 Break it down
o06:14 – #5 Distract yourself
o06:37 – #6 Choose the higher road
o07:29 – #7 GIVE in regards to relationships—be Gentle, Interested, Validate, be Easy
o08:13 – #8 DEAR MAN—which describes how to be objective in difficult times—Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce & Mindful, Associate, Negotiate (Dr. Marsha Linehan)
o09:24 – #9 Accept yourself while rising to the challenge
o09:54 – #10 Seek outside help
10:26 – The more time you have, the more you calm down
10:35 – Quarantine the issue – don’t exaggerate it
10:51 – Learn from your past mistakes and past successes
11:25 – Send your questions toMind Your Mind
11:33 – Question from Brittany in UK, “Joe, I find myself having extreme mood swings daily and feel out of control to manage them. Will therapy help me?”– Joseph believes in therapy. When you’re working with a therapist, ask them about their past experience. Identify the behaviors that you’re doing that are getting in the way and causing the mood swings. Discuss what’s at stake that will encourage you to make a change.
12:41 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
Our emotions are a part of us and act as signals to us, but they can, with training,be regulated and not become out of control.You DON’T have to react in the heat of the moment and emotion – give yourself time to process.Our past successes and failures are our greatest teachers – if there are triggers in a relationship that cause dysregulated emotions, STOP that behavior and do what works.
Resources
Calming the Emotional Storm - book with solid tips and skillshttps://www.amazon.com/Calming-Emotional-Storm-Dialectical-Behavior/dp/1608820874/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491445932&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=calmiung+the+emotonal+storm
DBT Skills Workbook - Joseph’s favorite book on emotional regulation.https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1491445922&sr=8-3&keywords=dbt+skills
In Episode 009, Joseph lists the 10 tips for emotional regulation. Every day is filled with its stressors and we’re left with the question—how do we respond? Do we let our emotions guide or lead our response or do we have control over our emotions? Emotional dysregulation—like getting upset—is a very common occurrence for all of us. In this podcast, Joseph will give us a more rounded view of how to perceive our emotions and the ways in which we can better regulate them—for your benefit and for the benefit of your relationships, too.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:28 – Today’s topic: 10 Tips for Emotional Regulation
00:55 – There are different levels of emotional dysregulation
01:13 – “Emotions come and go, but they feel so strong”
01:23 – Emotion comes from the root “motion” which means movement, they are there to guide us, push us, and motivate us to action
01:48 – Be aware that emotion comes from the amygdala – the body’s alarm system
02:30 – We can slow emotions down in order to decipher what’s worth reacting to and what needs to be controlled better
02:50 – “Emotions are a temporary state of mind, don’t let them permanently destroy you” – Anonymous
03:00 – 10 Ways to Keep Yourself Emotionally Regulated
o03:11 – Want to print out this list? Go toMind Your Mind
o03:34 – #1 Buy time and take a break
o04:38 – #2 Identify your needs
o05:07 – #3 Call out what’s going on
o05:35 – #4 Break it down
o06:14 – #5 Distract yourself
o06:37 – #6 Choose the higher road
o07:29 – #7 GIVE in regards to relationships—be Gentle, Interested, Validate, be Easy
o08:13 – #8 DEAR MAN—which describes how to be objective in difficult times—Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce & Mindful, Associate, Negotiate (Dr. Marsha Linehan)
o09:24 – #9 Accept yourself while rising to the challenge
o09:54 – #10 Seek outside help
10:26 – The more time you have, the more you calm down
10:35 – Quarantine the issue – don’t exaggerate it
10:51 – Learn from your past mistakes and past successes
11:25 – Send your questions toMind Your Mind
11:33 – Question from Brittany in UK, “Joe, I find myself having extreme mood swings daily and feel out of control to manage them. Will therapy help me?”– Joseph believes in therapy. When you’re working with a therapist, ask them about their past experience. Identify the behaviors that you’re doing that are getting in the way and causing the mood swings. Discuss what’s at stake that will encourage you to make a change.
12:41 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
Our emotions are a part of us and act as signals to us, but they can, with training,be regulated and not become out of control.You DON’T have to react in the heat of the moment and emotion – give yourself time to process.Our past successes and failures are our greatest teachers – if there are triggers in a relationship that cause dysregulated emotions, STOP that behavior and do what works.
Resources
Calming the Emotional Storm - book with solid tips and skillshttps://www.amazon.com/Calming-Emotional-Storm-Dialectical-Behavior/dp/1608820874/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491445932&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=calmiung+the+emotonal+storm
DBT Skills Workbook - Joseph’s favorite book on emotional regulation.https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1491445922&sr=8-3&keywords=dbt+skills
14 Minuten
Summary:
In Episode 008, Joseph discusses 5 comprehensible steps to becoming a great parent. Challenges and struggles are normal when it comes to parenting and oftentimes we are left to our own devices to figure out what works best for our child. Joseph provides parents with 5 clear steps that can help us become great parents according to the fundamental needs of our children. He also refers listeners to three key books that can assist us in this parenting journey that is a continual, learning process for us all.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:28 – Today’s topic: 5 Steps to Becoming a Great Parent
00:42 – Parenting challenges are always there
01:08 – 1 in 7 children in the US are struggling with one type of diagnosable mental, behavioral, or developmental issue
01:29 – ADHD is a growing problem for many kids
01:36 – Anxiety and depression are also becoming more present in children of younger ages
01:57 – “A baby is born with a need to be loved – and never outgrows it.”–Frank A. Clark
02:10 – Joseph believes in the attachment theory – from cradle to death, we need to be loved and appreciated -John Bowlby
02:28 – “People’s greatest inspirations have been their parents”
02:48 – #1 Start now and start early
o02:52 – Many excellent books on parenting come from Dr. Haim Ginott
o03:19 –How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Mazlish and Faber
o03:40 –Between Parent and Childby Dr. Haim Ginott
o04:33 – Many of us think passion and love for parenting already make us a good parent
05:27 – #2 Validation
o05:35 – Focus on your child’s needs more than your own embarrassment and meet them where they are at
06:12 – #3 Be an example
o06:31 – You can’t tell a child not to copy you
o06:41 – Show by example and let your children be involved
o06:49 – “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I may remember. Involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin
o07:22 – Don’t blame yourself
07:32 – #4 Provide safety & security
o09:04 – Our children look towards us
o09:16 – Parents need to provide their children a safe and secure environment
09:55 – #5 Keep learning
o10:08 – Always be open to change
10:16 – 3 parenting books Joseph recommends:Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child,Between Parent and Child, andHow to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
10:54 – Lindsay says, “My teenagers fight all day. Brad who is 14 is the worst – he’s always complaining that his brothers and sister get more treats, attention and rewards than he does. He picks fights with them and ruins the atmosphere. What should I do?”– Focus on Brad’s needs. There are 3 Fs in parenting – be firm, be fair, and be friendly
12:58 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
Always place your child’s needs before your own embarrassment—especially when it comes to reproaching them in public.Engage with your children as they learn best through being included and getting involved.Be firm, fair, and friendly to your children as you address their concerns, needs, and frustrations.
Resources Mentioned:
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Childby Dr. Gottman
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Mazlish and Faber
Between Parent and Childby Dr. Haim Ginott
In Episode 008, Joseph discusses 5 comprehensible steps to becoming a great parent. Challenges and struggles are normal when it comes to parenting and oftentimes we are left to our own devices to figure out what works best for our child. Joseph provides parents with 5 clear steps that can help us become great parents according to the fundamental needs of our children. He also refers listeners to three key books that can assist us in this parenting journey that is a continual, learning process for us all.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
00:28 – Today’s topic: 5 Steps to Becoming a Great Parent
00:42 – Parenting challenges are always there
01:08 – 1 in 7 children in the US are struggling with one type of diagnosable mental, behavioral, or developmental issue
01:29 – ADHD is a growing problem for many kids
01:36 – Anxiety and depression are also becoming more present in children of younger ages
01:57 – “A baby is born with a need to be loved – and never outgrows it.”–Frank A. Clark
02:10 – Joseph believes in the attachment theory – from cradle to death, we need to be loved and appreciated -John Bowlby
02:28 – “People’s greatest inspirations have been their parents”
02:48 – #1 Start now and start early
o02:52 – Many excellent books on parenting come from Dr. Haim Ginott
o03:19 –How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Mazlish and Faber
o03:40 –Between Parent and Childby Dr. Haim Ginott
o04:33 – Many of us think passion and love for parenting already make us a good parent
05:27 – #2 Validation
o05:35 – Focus on your child’s needs more than your own embarrassment and meet them where they are at
06:12 – #3 Be an example
o06:31 – You can’t tell a child not to copy you
o06:41 – Show by example and let your children be involved
o06:49 – “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I may remember. Involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin
o07:22 – Don’t blame yourself
07:32 – #4 Provide safety & security
o09:04 – Our children look towards us
o09:16 – Parents need to provide their children a safe and secure environment
09:55 – #5 Keep learning
o10:08 – Always be open to change
10:16 – 3 parenting books Joseph recommends:Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child,Between Parent and Child, andHow to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
10:54 – Lindsay says, “My teenagers fight all day. Brad who is 14 is the worst – he’s always complaining that his brothers and sister get more treats, attention and rewards than he does. He picks fights with them and ruins the atmosphere. What should I do?”– Focus on Brad’s needs. There are 3 Fs in parenting – be firm, be fair, and be friendly
12:58 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
Always place your child’s needs before your own embarrassment—especially when it comes to reproaching them in public.Engage with your children as they learn best through being included and getting involved.Be firm, fair, and friendly to your children as you address their concerns, needs, and frustrations.
Resources Mentioned:
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Childby Dr. Gottman
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Mazlish and Faber
Between Parent and Childby Dr. Haim Ginott
