Mind Your Mind - Joseph Tropper Archiv

Summary:

In Episode 007, Joseph reminds us of just how important sleeping is for our mental health and gives us 14 ways to sleep like a baby, tonight. Sleep is often one of the first things sacrificed to keep up with the day-to-day demands and tasks in life; thus, the one thing we take for granted. Joseph explains why we must value our sleep when it comes to our overall lifelong physical and mental health and lists 14 things you can do today, to help you get that much needed sleep.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast

00:26 – Today’s topic: 14 Ways to Sleep Like a Baby Tonight

00:29 – Many of the issues people have come from sleep deficiencies

00:57 – Some ideas can be implemented immediately

01:17 – A study kept people awake for 24 hours straight

01:31 – At the end of 24 hours, a lot of psychological issues were reported

01:54 – 60M people in the US have some type of sleep disorder

01:59 – 50% of people have snoring issues

02:06 – 37% of people report falling asleep every day

02:18 – 5% of people fall asleep while driving

02:34 – Sleep Apnea is sometimes caused by obesity

02:45 – 40% of all adults have some type of sleep deprivation

02:59 – 100K deaths occur each year in hospitals due to medical error, and sleep deprivation is in the top 3 most significant contributors to this

03:27 – Young children are not exceptions either when it comes to sleep issues

03:39 – 30% to 40% of children in the United States have sleep deprivation issues

03:53 – Bad sleep habits start at a young age and normally continue into adult life

04:12 – “It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning, after the committee of sleep has worked on it.” – John Steinbeck

04:30 – 14 Ways to Sleep Like a Baby Tonight:

o04:31 – #1 No food, sugar, or soda 2-3 hours before bedtime

o04:40 – #2 No caffeine past noon

o05:09 – #3 Allow yourself to slowly wind down before bedtime

o05:30 – #4 Fill your day with productive activities

o05:48 – #5 Practice relaxing breathing techniques before going to bed

o05:56 – #6 No smartphone usage 1 hour before bedtime

o06:17 – #7 Create a peaceful environment 1 hour before sleeping

o06:32 – #8 If you can’t sleep after 20 minutes, get out of bed, drink milk or write a little—then try again

o06:53 – #9 Count down from 100

o07:06 – #10 Make sure you have a comfortable temperature in your room

o07:17 – #11 Drink chamomile tea

o07:22 – #12 Take a warm shower or bath

o07:27 – #13 Clear your mind

o07:39 – #14 Discuss your concerns with your doctor

07:51 – Get the list atMind Your Mind Online

08:19 – Mark from Seattle asks, “How much sleep do I need?”

o08:25– Sleep depends on your age

o08:31 – Infants need 12 to 16 hours

o08:39 – Children ages 1-2 need 11 to 14 hours

o08:48 – Kids ages 3-5 need 10 to 13 hours

o08:53 – Children ages 6-12 need 9 to 12 hours

o09:03 – Adults need 7 to 9 hours

09:24 –CDChas a lot of resources on sleep issues

09:38 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

Sleep is one of the most sacrificed things in our life—this needs to change.Children are not exempt from sleep issues, often the sleep habits they develop when they’re young persist into their adult years.Sleep deprivation can be one of the underlying causes of many mental and psychological conditions including anxiety, depression, hallucinations, and bipolar symptoms.

Resources Mentioned:

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention– Where you can find resources on health and sleep issues

Summary:

In Episode 006, Joseph teaches us The 4 Habits of Emotionally Intelligent People. Unlike the explicit lessons we learn in school, the real world calls for a more specific intelligence than book smarts—EQ. In the work environment, every single person faces social issues and challenges that only their EQ can solve. Listen as Joseph describes the 4 habits of people that are emotionally intelligent and provides practical advice on how you can begin to work on your EQ today.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast

00:26 – Today’s topic: The 4 Habits of Emotionally Intelligent People

00:58 – Emotional intelligence is a hot topic from the ‘90s

01:25 –Edward Thorndike, a famous psychologist in the ‘20s, already identified and defined social intelligence

01:41 – Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligencetook social intelligence to another level

02:00 – 80% of your adult success comes from EQ

02:20 – 75% of careers are derailed because of emotional intelligence issues

02:39 – John Mayer and Peter Salovey’s definition of Emotional Intelligence: Having proficiency in 4 specific areas: identifying emotions, using them, understanding them, and regulating them

03:00 – “What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definitive set of emotional skills–your EQ–not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests” – Daniel Goleman

03:33 – #1 Great Conversation Skills

o03:40 – Making other people feel comfortable in the conversation

o03:46 – Stop overthinking

o04:27 – Whatever job you do, you’ll be talking to people

04:52 – #2 Read Social Cues

o05:05 – Figure out why waiters and waitresses get bigger tips (due to social intelligence)

o05:28 – Socially intelligent people read social cues

o05:44 – Be non-confrontational and respectful

06:18 – #3 Have Self-Efficacy

o06:22 – Respect yourself

06:52 – #4 Understand Human Motivation

o07:07 – They know how to harness that power and use it

07:22 – First practical solution to work on your emotional intelligence: empathize with other people and validate them

07:45 – Second: seek first to understand then be understood

08:34 – Submit your question online atMind Your Mind

08:46 –Alice from Ohio asks, “My best friend since childhood has constantly been ignoring my calls, but then when she finds out I’m with another friend, she gets angry with me. How do I deal with this?”– There’s a big imbalance in your relationship – be cautious. Sometimes people grow apart and have different needs. Communicate about the issue.

11:19 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

Emotional intelligence or EQ is what brings you more success in your adult life.It’s important that you understand emotional cues and empathize with people.Always have respect for yourself.

Resources Mentioned:

Edward Thorndike– Psychologist from the 1920’s identified emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence– Book that took social intelligence to another level

Mind Your Mind– Tune in and submit your questions

Dale Carnegie– Book on interpersonal relationship development by world famous author

Summary:

In Episode 005, Joseph lists 6 ways to let go of the past. Dealing with pain and resentment is never easy for any one person; but, you have a choice to either hold on to the resentment or free yourself from it and move on. How exactly does one do this? How do we let go of the past? Listen as Joseph teaches us the importance of acknowledging our feelings of resentment, the reasons why we need to let go, and the means by which this is possible.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast

00:25 – Today’s topic: 6 Ways to Let Go of the Past

01:01 – When people have resentment and pain, it leads to poor choices in life

01:33 – Holding on to the past makes us learn from the past

01:51 – The adaptive part of holding on to the past can also backfire on us

02:22 – “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die” – Carrie Fisher

02:40 – #1 Resentment is an addiction

03:21 – #2 We cannot change the past

03:58 – #3 It’s an illusion of strength

04:22 – Real strength comes from moving forward

04:33 – #4 Be aware of your needs

o04:36 – HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired – address your needs

05:18 – #5 Stop blaming yourself BUT do take responsibility

05:34 – We all make mistakes

06:01 – #6 Meet halfway or get away

06:41 – If you’re feeling resentment, call it out

07:21 – Hear the other person’s hurt instead of their insults

07:54 – Mark from Wyoming asks, “If I’m unable to forgive my dad for what he did to me throughout my childhood, will I always carry the resentment with me?”– Forgiveness is a spiritual and religious choice. To forgive someone is your own personal choice. The resentment is what you have to let go.

09:02 – Engage in self-validation to acknowledge your hurt

09:16 – It’s hard to overcome resentment, but we can do it—it is possible!

09:47 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

In the end, holding onto resentment will just cause more suffering for YOU.Resentment may be the result of your personal needs not being met. HALT—are you hungry, angry, lonely, or tired?People make mistakes—be accountable, take responsibility for your own actions, and move forward.

Summary:

In Episode 004,Joseph Tropperdiscusses the 13 ingredients of healthy couples. Joseph uses the analogy of baking—you wouldn’t replace tar for chocolate, or vinegar for milk in your recipe. You need to focus on choosing the right ingredients to create that sweet, final confection. These 13 ingredients have negative counterparts and just being aware of the choices you have is where it all begins. Listen as Joseph shares the 13 ingredients for a healthier relationship with your partner and the importance of evaluating what you bring to the table. Joseph will show you how you can improve your relationship now.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast

00:25 – Episode 4 is about the 13 ingredients that create a healthy couple

00:56 – This episode is for couples who want to enhance their relationship

01:20 – 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce; although these statistics lean towards teen marriages

01:40 – Once age at the time of marriage increases, the statistics for divorce lower

02:05 – The most important things about these ingredients are two-fold:

02:10 – Consistency in doing them

02:30 – Putting the right ingredients in

03:34 – 1: Have a 1-2 hour weekly date

03:45 – 2: Compliment each other more than you criticize each other; at a 4:1 ratio

04:10 – 3: Daily repair conversation frequency

04:30 – 4: Give each other time to repair or have emotional time-outs instead of letting fights escalate

04:43 – 5: Give love and show acceptance to each other

04:57 – 6: The importance of being happy rather than being right

05:18 – 7: Laugh together often

05:28 – 8: Validate the 10% where you two agree rather than fighting the 90% where you disagree or see the other as wrong

06:08 – 9: Make time for intimacy

06:21 – 10: Celebrate each other’s success

06:32 – 11: Encourage individualism and autonomy

06:46 – 12: Give and receive trust

06:58 – 13: Seek help when needed

07:10 – Putting the ingredients, time, and energy into your relationship will make it work

07:23 – Get a print-out of the 13 ingredients atMind Your Mind

07:42 – “A wedding anniversary is a celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity—the order varies for any given year.” by Paul Sweeney

07:57 – Get out of that negative mindset

08:07 – Pick one from the healthy list and reinforce it, and pick from the unhealthy list and fix it

08:41 – Denise asks, “My spouse is the problem, he’s unreasonable and has issues. We have one child and have been together for over 5 years. I’m not perfect, but it’s 90% him.”

o09:00 – Joseph’s response is to seek help for yourself and focus on your part

o09:21 – Put yourself into the relationship as much as you can; because if you pull out, your spouse will pull away as well

o09:31 – If you want to fix it, find a support team or therapist to help you have a conversation with your spouse about the issues you face

o09:45 – Look at the list to see if you’re doing the things that allow for connection

10:16 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

Be aware that there is a positive and negative way in dealing with the problems in your relationship—then, choose the positive.It’s important to say 4 compliments to your partner for every 1 critical statement, something that usually sets apart the masters from the disasters.Being consistent and putting the right ingredients into a relationship is key to keeping it healthy, long-lasting and enjoyable.

Resources Mentioned:

Mind Your Mind– Download the PDF 13 Healthy Couple Ingredients

In Episode 003, Joseph teaches us 5 Ways to Kick Anxiety. In the US, about 22% of the population is affected by anxiety. Unfortunately, it’s not only adults who experience anxiety, 1 in 4 children suffer as well. Acknowledging anxiety is always the first step to overcoming it. Listen as Joseph shares the types of anxiety expressed today, and how we can combat anxiety in other ways besides medication.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast

00:26 – Today’s episode is 5 Ways to Kick Anxiety

00:35 – Anxiety is an uncomfortable topic

01:07 – “Prevalence of anxiety in the United States population is 22%”

01:17 – “4% of the population can be classified as severe”

01:30 – It is common for children ages 13-18 to have anxiety

01:40 – “1 in 4 kids suffer from anxiety”

01:50 – “Only 1 in 3 people seek treatment for anxiety”

02:10 – Unlike anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medications work quickly

02:27 – Check medication for addictive properties

02:51 – Different forms of anxiety are:

o02:55 – Panic Disorder

o03:16 – General Anxiety Disorder

o03:33 – Social Anxiety Disorder

o04:00 – Hoarding

o04:16 – Phobias

04:25 – The 5 Ways to Kick Anxiety

o04:30 – Write down your worries

o04:51 – Create an anxiety, worry-free period in the day

o05:33 – Take care of your body

o05:59 – Do activities that help you relax

06:19 – Joseph suggests to readCalming the Emotional StormandDBT Workbook for Anxiety

o06:52 – NAP: Notice, Accept, and Pass

07:33 –“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”– Arthur Somers Roche

07:55 – Practical Solutions

o07:59 – Start with mindfulness

o08:07 – Joseph encourages to checkThe Tapping Solutionby Nick Ortner

08:27 – Today’s Question comes from Sarah, from Oregon: “I had a hair-pulling habit that I got help for 5 years ago. And now, it just came back”

o08:42 – It’s important to point out that even though you’ve worked through this habit in the past, something might have triggered that anxiety again and old habits die hard

o08:57 – Good news is that you can try doing what worked for you 5 years ago and it should be able to help

o09:06 – Address the things that might have triggered your habit

09:30 – Anxiety is extremely impairing and these 5 tools are a great starting point to help—if you need more help, do not hesitate to seek it

10:03 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

Anxiety is prevalent in the US; however, it’s still one of those uncomfortable topics for people to discuss and we need to break that stigma.It is very common for children to experience anxiety.You can try to combat anxiety without having to take medication as a first resort, but be open to meds as well from a trusted and competent specialist.

Resources Mentioned:

Calming the Emotional StormandDBT Workbook for Anxiety– Books Joseph recommends to help with relaxation

The Tapping Solution– Website Joseph encourages to visit for practical solutions in combating anxiety

In Episode 002, Joseph shares with us the 6 Steps to Overcoming Sadness and Depression. It’s known that 1 in 5 adults have experienced some kind of mental health issue. Specifically, when it comes to depression, only 28% of individuals are actually helped by medication. This begs the question: what are the other ways one can combat depressive feelings and thoughts? Listen in as Joseph lists 6 steps you can start doing today, to either prevent or overcome those feelings of sadness and depression.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast

00:26 – Today’s episode is Overcoming Sadness and Depression: 6 Step Process

00:32 – “1 in 5 adults in America have some type of mental health issue they’ve experienced”

01:01 – 50% of adults will not talk to their doctor

01:29 – Everything is on a spectrum in terms of depressive feelings and thoughts—the question is how pervasive these thoughts and feelings are

01:39 – Getting diagnosed by a qualified health professional is very important

01:50 – Podcast Disclaimers:

o01:51 – This is NOT medical nor legal advice

o02:03 – In anything I say, there is no judgment

02:45 – Joseph describes depression as inactivity

03:09 – To get out of depression, “the inactivity needs to be combatted with activity”

03:22 – Joseph recommends the book,The Depression Cure

03:33 – Regardless of all the resources mentioned, it is always wise to check in with a doctor

04:18 – Our body was never designed for this post-industrial environment we now live in

04:47 – Only 28% of patients are actually cured with medication

05:07 – The 6 Steps to Overcome Sadness and Depression are:

o05:17 – 1) Eat brain food

o05:43 – 2) Don’t think, “do”

06:03 –Feeling Goodis a great book for dealing with a negative mindset

o06:21 – 3) Exercise

o06:44 – 4) “Let there be [natural] light”—try the happy light product by Verilux

o07:12 – 5) Get connected socially

o07:40 – 6) Healthy sleep

08:24 –“Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.”– Ronald Reagan

08:50 – Exercise, be active, and have accountability

09:30 – Q: Sam from California asks, “I’m just a negative person. How do I know I’m suffering from clinical depression?”

o09:51 – A: Having a negative outlook in life may be your personality

o09:56 – Is there impairment in your social, work, or family life? If there is, you need to seek help from a healthcare professional

o10:12 – Negative attitude and perspective can be worked on

10:23 – In closing, depression is REAL and it can run in the family; seek help, be active, apply a therapeutic lifestyle change or program

11:17 – Remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel

11:34 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

Getting diagnosed by a doctor, psychologist, or therapist is very important when it comes to having depressive feelings and thoughts that are pervasive.Depression is a state of inactivity; combat it with activity.It is strongly advised to combat depression with a program that engages your natural recovery skills and changes your environment and negative mindset as medication alone only helps about 28% of patients.

Resources Mentioned:

The Depression Cure– Book written by Stephen Ilardi that talks about battling depression without drugs

Feeling Good– Book written by David Burns that deals with negative mindsets

Verilux– a company that creates light lamps to help with depressive symptoms

Summary:

In Episode 001, Joseph describes “The 8 Dimensions of Wellness” and encourages us to do a self-check. What is our level of satisfaction in each dimension? How do we increase our satisfaction? How important is it to take care of ourselves first? In today’s busy world, people tend to drown in their daily tasks and responsibilities, putting aside their own personal well-being. Tune in find out what these 8 dimensions mean for you and how to take those first steps in self-care.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast

00:26 – Today’s topic: Where do I Start? The 8 Mental Areas to Mind

01:06 –The Wellness Initiative Programby SAMHSA, a US government organization, begins our list:

o01:27 –Emotional—Coping effectively with life and creating satisfying relationships

o01:32 –Environmental— Maintaining good health by occupying pleasant, stimulating environments that support well-being

o01:42–Financial— Satisfaction with current and future financial situations

o01:50 –Intellectual—Recognizing creative abilities and finding ways to expand knowledge and skills

o02:04 –Occupational— Personal satisfaction and enrichment from one’s work

o02:09 –Physical— Recognizing the need for physical activity, healthy foods, and sleep

o02:15 –Social— Developing a sense of connection, belonging, and a well-developed support system

o02:21 –Spiritual— Expanding a sense of purpose and meaning in life

02:32 – Joseph gives pointers regarding the emotional dimension

03:10 – As you go through the list, rate yourself on how satisfied you are in each dimension

03:37 – The goal is to get an 80-90% satisfaction rate on each dimension

03:55 – Stable and safe housing is important

04:13 – Do you enjoy where you live or your surroundings?

04:37 – Financial dimension has two parts: your current financial situation and your future financial goals

05:27 – It’s important to learn and expand on one’s knowledge and abilities

05:35 – Occupational is divided into 2 categories: compensation and fulfillment

06:12 – Health is a gift, but we must do our part

06:41 – “We have to take care of ourselves. If we don’t get enough sleep, we don’t function.”

06:52 – As humans, people need to be part of a group

07:16 – Having a support team is also essential in our social dimension

07:23 – People also need to have a sense of meaning for their lives

07:34 –“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” – Jack Kornfield

07:40 – Take care of yourself FIRST

07:43 – How do we make this practical?

o07:45 – Start with the social and physical dimensions if you don’t know where to start

o08:06 – The 10% challenge: How can I raise my satisfaction level in a particular dimension by 10%?

08:28 – Sam from California says, “Joe, I just don’t have time to take care of myself. Great ideas, but how do I do it?”– Keep listening! Tons of suggestions are coming your way as the podcast keeps going. Quality vs. Quantity – give yourself 5 quality minutes of meditation and relaxation.

09:11 – Jessie from New York says, “My spouse interrupts my ability to relax.”– Take responsibility on your part. Try to touch base with your spouse and ask him to help you with your needs and vice versa.

09:51 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

Health is a gift and we should NOT take it for granted, do your part in the 8 areas.If you’re confused about where to start with your well-being, focus on the social and physical dimensions of your health first.Challenge yourself—how can you increase satisfaction by just 10% in an area of your health and well being?

Resources Mentioned:

The Wellness Initiative Programby SAMHSA – basis of the 8 Dimensions of Wellness

Welcome to Mind Your Mind! My name is Joseph Tropper and it is so nice to meet you! This podcast was designed with you in mind. It’s meant to tackle the hottest topics of self-care and help you take the best care of yourself. I want to help you get motivated, deal with stress, and enhance your relationships.

Qualifications

To begin I would like to introduce myself and explain why I am qualified to help you take the next step. I have 15 years of experience as a life coach, hypnotherapist and licensed mental health professional. I hold a Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling and have been in full time private practice as lead therapist and director for the past 4 years. I’m a proud husband and father and these two roles shape so much of my life perspective. I have specialized training in couples counseling, trauma (EMDR therapy) and anxiety and want to help you move forward in life.

Why This Podcast?

Clients often ask if they can record my sessions. I am concerned for their confidentiality as well as quality assurance. This podcast gives me the opportunity to think over my thoughts, edit them and make sure they are expressed in a clear and helpful manner. Additionally, my aim is to impact and help as many people as possible. While I find private practice extremely rewarding, it takes much concentrated effort to impact the 30 to 50 clients that I can work with at a time. This podcast can be listened to by many people who can benefit from its practical advice. You can listen in while you are going about your daily activities. I especially encourage you to come here when you take your daily 30 minutes jog or walk!

Love To Hear From You

I want your insights and questions. Please visit our site to submit your questions and I will try my best to answer them on the show. Visit mindyourmindonline.com and click on Ask Joseph to type or record your questions.

Name Explained

Mind Your Mind is called after the mind for two main reasons. Firstly, it emphasizes the importance of putting yourself first and advocating for your own needs. Secondly, it references the concept of mindfulness which is very helpful in centering and caring for self.

Show Format

The show is divided into 7 main parts outlined here:

1-Opening - intro to the topic

2- Facts - cold facts about the topics

3- Quote - My favorite quote

4-Opinions - my own take and ideas, the main crux of the material

5- Practical Solutions - how do I make my life better

6- Questions - submitted by listeners, first about podcast topic, then about any topic

7- ClosingRecap - summary and call to action

Quick Disclaimers

The material contained in the podcast recordings, summaries and articles are for self-help purposes only. No legal, medical or specific mental health advice is offered. Listeners and readers are encouraged to collaborate with people whom they trust as well as qualified professionals for the application of anything discussed here.

Human Strength and Vulnerability

I want to share with you a poem that is very dear to me. I wrote it as a summary about the work that I do with myself and with my clients. It expresses my view on life and mental health. I took the background picture myself while on vacation with my wife and family in Hawaii.

Let the Journey Begin

It’s great to have you here and I hope to hear from you to learn more about the topics you love and wish to hear more about. Wishing you only the greatest success as you learn toMind Your Mind!

Resources Mentioned:

Mind Your Mind– The podcast title and website

Human Strength and Vulnerability – Poem written by Joseph Tropper