Episode 022 – Attachment Part 1: Childhood and Personality

Summary: In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Joseph opens Part 1
of the attachment series. He takes us to the beginning—our
childhood—and explains how our early experiences with our
caregivers dictate the ways in which we attach. Joseph draws on
the resource, Attached, to provide a basis of understanding for
today’s topic. Listen as Joseph explains the causes for
attachment development, the 4 types of attachment, and a
breakdown of the 4 types of attachment using children’s reactions
to stress as an example. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 –
Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:23 – Today’s episode
is Part 1 of an attachment series 00:35 – Part 1 will be about
childhood and personality; Part 2 is about adult, romantic
relationships 01:04 – To Joseph, all people are on a spectrum
in regards to the different types of attachment they can
experience 01:29 – Most of the material that will be quoted in
the podcast will come from the book, Attached 02:07 – There are
3 causes for attachment development: o 02:12 – Predisposition o
02:33 – Primary caregiver o 02:43 – Life experience 02:46 –
Attached states that it takes about 4 years to change one’s
attachment style, but research proves it can change in a lot less
time than that 03:32 – 4 Types of Attachment: o 03:36 – Secure
o 03:43 – Anxious/preoccupied o 03:49 – Avoidant/dismissive o
03:52 – Anxious-avoidant combined 04:12 – “What cannot be
communicated to the mother cannot be communicated to the self.” –
John Bowlby 04:23 – Through research, we observe how children
react with their caregiver o 04:53 – The secure child gets upset,
wails, but does well to calm herself o 05:23 – The
anxious-preoccupied child will show tremendous distress, protest
and will get angry o 05:58 – The avoidant-dismissive child will
ignore mom on the outside, but on the inside he still feels
extreme levels of distress o 07:06 – If you have secure parents,
you will develop into a more secure person o 07:39 – Our
personality develops in this childhood stage 08:34 – How your
personality develops manifests in how you get attached to things
09:11 – Don’t put yourself in a box, instead look at the
patterns! 09:36 – End of this week’s podcast!


3 Key Points:
One’s attachment is expressed on a spectrum—there are different
types of attachment one may identify with. It takes time for people
to change their attachment styles, but each person is capable of
changing. Our personality developed as a child; we learn how to
attach from our early experiences with our caregivers.

Resources Mentioned: Attached – Book about attachment that
Joseph highly recommends