Mind Your Mind - Joseph Tropper Archiv
114 Episoden
9 Minuten
Summary: Humans are social creatures and being lonely is almost inevitable in a person’s lifetime. What people often don’t realize is, there’s no need to feel the loneliness — there are always people around who are willing to connect. Today’s podcast episode is about the 6 steps on how to get out of loneliness. Tune in as Joseph lists down these 6 steps and his tips in overcoming this feeling. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:27 – Today’s episode is about the 6 steps out of loneliness 00:42 – Loneliness is REAL 00:54 – “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty” — Mother Teresa 01:13 – Loneliness is something that people experience 01:54 – Step 1: Acknowledge your feelings 02:25 – Step 2: Self-Talk 03:39 – Step 3: Find meaning and focus 05:01 – Step 4: Look at your social setting o 05:37 – Social media does NOT take the place of friendships 05:56 – Step 5: Have a default reading, walking, and talking list 06:35 – Step 6: Do something kind to yourself or to another person 08:01 – Loneliness is NORMAL 08:14 – Connect with us at Mind Your Mind
3 Key Points:
Acknowledge that loneliness is a normal thing that people feel. Changing the negative self-talks to positive ones can make a huge impact. Reach out to people and find social connections.
3 Key Points:
Acknowledge that loneliness is a normal thing that people feel. Changing the negative self-talks to positive ones can make a huge impact. Reach out to people and find social connections.
11 Minuten
Summary: How deep have you explored yourself? That’s one question any person should reflect about. Sometimes people don’t realize that the way they act and react to different things are caused by internal factors — these may be past experiences, prejudice, and sometimes instilled beliefs. Today, Joseph shares about the 4 lessons we all have to know in the search for ourselves. Listen to know what these 4 lessons are and how these can help us in moving forward with our lives. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:25 – Today’s episode is about 4 lessons in the search for self 00:43 – Every day is an example of finding ourselves more 00:51 – The focus of this discussion will be based on Alice Miller’s works 01:33 – Joseph talks about Alice’s book, The Drama of the Gifted Child 03:00 – Lesson 1: There is a deep root of hurt in every one of us o 03:30 – In his work, Joseph sees child-parent dynamic where parents are powering giants over children o 04:28 – Understand that all people have this deep root 04:49 – Lesson 2: How are future events after childhood are influenced by our childhood traumas? o 06:18 – Parenting skills usually comes from past experiences 06:45 – Lesson 3: Break free o 07:21 – Start by recognizing your hurts o 08:30 – Human beings are not capable of giving unlimited love 08:49 – Lesson 4: Emotional freedom o 09:58 – Tap into yourself 10:35 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
Understand that in every person, there is a deep root of hurt that can be affecting the way this person acts/reacts. Childhood traumas are not easy to deal with. Mourn over your traumas and be willing to let them go. No person/parent is perfect — accept the fact that no one could ever give us unlimited love, safety, and security the way we want to receive it.
3 Key Points:
Understand that in every person, there is a deep root of hurt that can be affecting the way this person acts/reacts. Childhood traumas are not easy to deal with. Mourn over your traumas and be willing to let them go. No person/parent is perfect — accept the fact that no one could ever give us unlimited love, safety, and security the way we want to receive it.
9 Minuten
Summary: In this episode, Joseph lists down the 4 questions you should be asking yourself. Life can be short and it’s a huge reason why we should live it the way we really want to. We’re all given just one life and one chance, and it’s up to us to make the most out of it. Listen as Joseph shares questions you should start asking yourself to know whether you’re living the life aligned to your purpose or not. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:23 – Today’s episode is about the 4 questions to ask yourself 00:34 – “The unexamined life is not worth living” – Socrates 01:11 – The 4 Questions to Ask Yourself o 01:31 – What is my purpose? 01:43 – “Everyone wants to have something they want to live for” 02:46 – Even if you don’t think you have any idea on what your purpose is, you do — you just have to look deeper 04:04 – Take a moment to think about your purpose o 04:36 – Will it matter tomorrow? 05:06 – This will determine how you react o 05:36 – What is my legacy? 06:53 – Write what your legacy is and work towards that o 07:40 – What do I feel loved for right now? 08:40 – Send Joseph a message for your questions 09:00 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
Examining your life is important in knowing what your purpose is and where you want to be. You’ll always know what your purpose is, you just have to listen to your inner voice. Before reacting to any situation, think if it will still matter tomorrow.
3 Key Points:
Examining your life is important in knowing what your purpose is and where you want to be. You’ll always know what your purpose is, you just have to listen to your inner voice. Before reacting to any situation, think if it will still matter tomorrow.
10 Minuten
Summary: In this episode, Joseph talks about the apology. Interaction and relationships with people make mistakes and hurting others is inevitable. Even if hurting another person is not the intention, we have to realize that we all have to give and take. Listen as Joseph shares the 6 ingredients to help you deliver that true apology. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:24 – Today’s episode is about the 6 ingredients to true apology 00:39 – It’s not easy to own mistakes but we all have to learn to apologize 01:01 – “Never ruin an apology with an excuse” – Benjamin Franklin 02:01 – The 6 Ingredients to True Apology o Rewind – take a pause and understand what happened o Remove Excuses – recognize that you have to be vulnerable in apologizing o Remorse – people want to hear an apology with 2 parts of remorse: regret and pain o Responsibility – own your mistake o Repair – make it up to the person o Repeat – be willing to constantly apologize and try to stay away from things that can hurt other people 09:10 – “It’s not easy to apologize” 09:38 – Amazing things happen when you apologize 10:11 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
Being vulnerable to admit a mistake and give an apology isn’t easy but very rewarding. Learn to remove excuses when apologizing. Be willing to constantly apologize when you make a mistake.
3 Key Points:
Being vulnerable to admit a mistake and give an apology isn’t easy but very rewarding. Learn to remove excuses when apologizing. Be willing to constantly apologize when you make a mistake.
11 Minuten
Summary: In this episode, Joseph lists down the 5 ways to overcome blindsightedness. While it’s true that people can never see everything in all things and situations, there are ways to get feedback and overcome blind spots in our lives. Sometimes, we just don’t know what we don’t know. Tune in to learn what 5 ways can help you avoid blind spots and how to do them. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:24 – Today’s episode is about the ways to overcome blind spots 00:43 – “We all have blind spots in life” 01:22 – A quote from the book, Blindsight says, “To this day, I still don’t know what went wrong” 01:50 – Expect a discrepancy 02:37 – Joseph shares about the eye doctor story 03:47 – Be empathetic and sympathetic 04:36 – 5 Ways to Overcome Blind Spots o 04:40 – Ask a kid 05:04 – “Kids say things as it is” o 05:55 – Watch a video of yourself o 07:14 – Ask a co-worker or associate o 08:30 – Find a friend o 08:54 – Write down the 5 biggest complaints of those in your inner circle they have against you 09:45 – “You can learn what went wrong” 10:34 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes 3 Key Points:
All people have blindsightedness — we don’t see everything clearly in all situations. Learn to expect discrepancies. The way you see the world is not the same way others see it.
All people have blindsightedness — we don’t see everything clearly in all situations. Learn to expect discrepancies. The way you see the world is not the same way others see it.
10 Minuten
Episode Notes
Summary: In this episode, Joseph talks about the 7 mythbusters about boundaries. Boundaries are set for a reason, and setting your boundaries as a person, should be on your terms. Having boundaries should not be a problem, it’s simply setting limits for yourself and for others in an appropriate and respectful way. Listen as Joseph shares what these 7 myths are, and what truths about boundaries you should know. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:22 – Today’s episode is the 7 mythbusters about boundaries 00:54 – “You best teach others about healthy boundaries by enforcing yours on them.” – Bryant McGill 01:14 – Myth #1: Boundaries mean that I’m selfish o 01:28 – This myth is what parents impose on children o 01:47 – Parents SHOULD set healthy boundaries o 03:18 – “Boundaries do not mean you’re selfish if they’re executed properly and appropriately” 03:30 – Myth #2: Boundaries mean that I’m a rebel o 03:46 – Pushing boundaries doesn’t mean you’re a rebel 04:15 – Myth #3: I will lose popularity o 04:43 – Healthy boundaries mean not doing work or taking responsibility that isn’t yours o 05:03 – Make sure to acknowledge other persons’ feelings if appropriate o 05:14 – Relationships sometimes push boundaries o 05:40 – Dealing with people with mental or emotional issues can confuse us with boundaries 06:04 – Myth #4: Boundaries mean that I am angry o 06:28 – “Every relationship has its expectations” 07:45 – Myth #5: Others will hurt me with their boundaries 08:09 – Myth #6: I will hurt others with my boundaries 08:27 – Myth #7: Boundaries are not changeable o 08:38 – Boundaries can be changed and modified 09:26 – Let other people know boundaries by enforcing yours 10:06 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes 3 Key Points:
Boundaries bring almost a negative sense to people but it actually promotes otherwise. Setting up your boundaries don’t mean you’re selfish or you’re angry it’s just putting the line in between what’s okay and what’s not okay for you. Having healthy boundaries is the way to teach other people to set theirs.
Summary: In this episode, Joseph talks about the 7 mythbusters about boundaries. Boundaries are set for a reason, and setting your boundaries as a person, should be on your terms. Having boundaries should not be a problem, it’s simply setting limits for yourself and for others in an appropriate and respectful way. Listen as Joseph shares what these 7 myths are, and what truths about boundaries you should know. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:22 – Today’s episode is the 7 mythbusters about boundaries 00:54 – “You best teach others about healthy boundaries by enforcing yours on them.” – Bryant McGill 01:14 – Myth #1: Boundaries mean that I’m selfish o 01:28 – This myth is what parents impose on children o 01:47 – Parents SHOULD set healthy boundaries o 03:18 – “Boundaries do not mean you’re selfish if they’re executed properly and appropriately” 03:30 – Myth #2: Boundaries mean that I’m a rebel o 03:46 – Pushing boundaries doesn’t mean you’re a rebel 04:15 – Myth #3: I will lose popularity o 04:43 – Healthy boundaries mean not doing work or taking responsibility that isn’t yours o 05:03 – Make sure to acknowledge other persons’ feelings if appropriate o 05:14 – Relationships sometimes push boundaries o 05:40 – Dealing with people with mental or emotional issues can confuse us with boundaries 06:04 – Myth #4: Boundaries mean that I am angry o 06:28 – “Every relationship has its expectations” 07:45 – Myth #5: Others will hurt me with their boundaries 08:09 – Myth #6: I will hurt others with my boundaries 08:27 – Myth #7: Boundaries are not changeable o 08:38 – Boundaries can be changed and modified 09:26 – Let other people know boundaries by enforcing yours 10:06 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes 3 Key Points:
Boundaries bring almost a negative sense to people but it actually promotes otherwise. Setting up your boundaries don’t mean you’re selfish or you’re angry it’s just putting the line in between what’s okay and what’s not okay for you. Having healthy boundaries is the way to teach other people to set theirs.
9 Minuten
Episode Notes
"Life is the flower for which love is the honey." – Victor Hugo
Summary: Sometimes our lives get too much of the negatives, stresses, and unhappy experiences that we forget to make the most out of it. What happens in our environment affects how we live that we unconsciously forget what things are really meaningful to us. I will share with you 4 Reasons to love and appreciate your life. The 4 P’s to Love Your Life Today – Focus on: o Positive o Present o People o Purpose Put another way, it’s up to you how you prefer to remember them: The 4 G’s to Love Your Life Today – Focus on: o Gratitude o Grounding o Group o Goals
Focus on Positive and Gratitude. Look on the beautiful things in your life to appreciate it. “Focusing on the things that we have really helps us understand things” The brain is trained to look at the wrong and to try to fix things. The Tell-Tale Brain talks about how the brain categorizes things in order. Spend time thinking of the positive and thank God, the universe, or what you believe in for what you have. Positive thoughts make big changes.
Focus on the Present and Grounding. Not being in the present moment distracts us and prevents us from enjoying our lives. “The greatest gift you can give yourself is to be present.” Mindfulness is focusing on what you’re doing.
Focus on People and Groups. “We need to fill our life with love.” People become more generous and loving when they’re with people who make them feel good like family and friends. Socially isolated people tend to be less happy
Focus on Purpose and Goals. People with goals in life are more effective
3 Key Points:
You only get to live once – make the most out of it. The way you see life depends on the things you focus on. Live a happier, more fulfilled life by focusing on the things that matter to you most.
Resources Mentioned: The Tell-Tale Brain – Book Joseph referenced on how the brain categorizes things Sponsored By:
"Life is the flower for which love is the honey." – Victor Hugo
Summary: Sometimes our lives get too much of the negatives, stresses, and unhappy experiences that we forget to make the most out of it. What happens in our environment affects how we live that we unconsciously forget what things are really meaningful to us. I will share with you 4 Reasons to love and appreciate your life. The 4 P’s to Love Your Life Today – Focus on: o Positive o Present o People o Purpose Put another way, it’s up to you how you prefer to remember them: The 4 G’s to Love Your Life Today – Focus on: o Gratitude o Grounding o Group o Goals
Focus on Positive and Gratitude. Look on the beautiful things in your life to appreciate it. “Focusing on the things that we have really helps us understand things” The brain is trained to look at the wrong and to try to fix things. The Tell-Tale Brain talks about how the brain categorizes things in order. Spend time thinking of the positive and thank God, the universe, or what you believe in for what you have. Positive thoughts make big changes.
Focus on the Present and Grounding. Not being in the present moment distracts us and prevents us from enjoying our lives. “The greatest gift you can give yourself is to be present.” Mindfulness is focusing on what you’re doing.
Focus on People and Groups. “We need to fill our life with love.” People become more generous and loving when they’re with people who make them feel good like family and friends. Socially isolated people tend to be less happy
Focus on Purpose and Goals. People with goals in life are more effective
3 Key Points:
You only get to live once – make the most out of it. The way you see life depends on the things you focus on. Live a happier, more fulfilled life by focusing on the things that matter to you most.
Resources Mentioned: The Tell-Tale Brain – Book Joseph referenced on how the brain categorizes things Sponsored By:
10 Minuten
Episode Notes
Summary: In this episode, Joseph lists down Dr. Murray Bowen’s 6 Family Dynamics. Families, just like individuals, are different in their own ways. Conflicts are not a rare occurrence with parents, spouses, siblings or children. Recognizing these family dynamics and what affects families both internally and externally will help us get a better grasp understanding them better. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:22 – Today’s episode: 6 Family Dynamics of Dr. Murray Bowen 00:40 – Dr. Murray Bowen’s family systems have a lot of insights that can be very helpful 01:15 – Dr. Bowen (1913 - 1990) was a very famous American psychiatrist during WWII 01:44 – He was a trailblazer who changed a lot of things in the norm 02:03 – Dr. Bowen’s 6 Family Dynamics o 02:19 – Triangulation – the smallest amount of conflict starts here When a person brings in a third party (maybe children) to avoid issue or to turn attention to o 04:22 – Differentiation of the self – main goals of therapy and life is to be autonomous and mature o 05:27 – Emotional cut-off – avoiding topics and closeness to people who can’t provide it to you o 06:02 – Family projection process – when emotional problems of a parent is transferred to a child o 07:17 – Sibling positions – how birth order impacts personality and development o 08:08 – Societal emotional process – external societal influences that create progressive or regressive behaviors 09:00 – Once you start recognizing the patterns and dynamics of what’s going on, it would give you the chance to better understand your family members 09:13 – If you need help or coaching, reach out to Joseph at Mind Your Mind 09:27 – “Remember, you can only change yourself” 09:48 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
Understanding your family dynamics can often help you live a harmonious family life. Society is a huge impact in influencing your family which creates either progressive or regressive behaviors. You can’t change the way people are but you can change yourself.
Resources Mentioned: Dr. Murray Bowen – An American psychiatrist who helped in the army during the WWII and created family theories that are still being taught today.
Summary: In this episode, Joseph lists down Dr. Murray Bowen’s 6 Family Dynamics. Families, just like individuals, are different in their own ways. Conflicts are not a rare occurrence with parents, spouses, siblings or children. Recognizing these family dynamics and what affects families both internally and externally will help us get a better grasp understanding them better. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:22 – Today’s episode: 6 Family Dynamics of Dr. Murray Bowen 00:40 – Dr. Murray Bowen’s family systems have a lot of insights that can be very helpful 01:15 – Dr. Bowen (1913 - 1990) was a very famous American psychiatrist during WWII 01:44 – He was a trailblazer who changed a lot of things in the norm 02:03 – Dr. Bowen’s 6 Family Dynamics o 02:19 – Triangulation – the smallest amount of conflict starts here When a person brings in a third party (maybe children) to avoid issue or to turn attention to o 04:22 – Differentiation of the self – main goals of therapy and life is to be autonomous and mature o 05:27 – Emotional cut-off – avoiding topics and closeness to people who can’t provide it to you o 06:02 – Family projection process – when emotional problems of a parent is transferred to a child o 07:17 – Sibling positions – how birth order impacts personality and development o 08:08 – Societal emotional process – external societal influences that create progressive or regressive behaviors 09:00 – Once you start recognizing the patterns and dynamics of what’s going on, it would give you the chance to better understand your family members 09:13 – If you need help or coaching, reach out to Joseph at Mind Your Mind 09:27 – “Remember, you can only change yourself” 09:48 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
Understanding your family dynamics can often help you live a harmonious family life. Society is a huge impact in influencing your family which creates either progressive or regressive behaviors. You can’t change the way people are but you can change yourself.
Resources Mentioned: Dr. Murray Bowen – An American psychiatrist who helped in the army during the WWII and created family theories that are still being taught today.
13 Minuten
Episode Notes
Grieving is a normal part of life. It’s actually not just about losing someone we love, it’s also about losing our jobs, our hopes, our dreams, and our aspirations. Today, Joseph educates us with the 5 Stages of Grieving based on Elisabeth Kubler Ross’ approach, what these stages mean, and how it affects us as individuals. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:23 – Today’s episode: 5 Stages of Grieving 00:28 – Joseph will expound upon Elisabeth Kubler Ross’ 5 Stages of Grief and approach 00:43 – Grief counselling is not just for someone who beraves death of a loved one but for people who lost jobs, hopes, and dreams 01:14 – Grief is a state where a person is faced with his own vulnerability 01:56 – Elisabeth Kubler Ross (1926-2004) is a Swiss-American psychiatrist who has a great heart and an amazing compassion to people 02:29 – She developed the 5 Stages to Grief model in a very compassionate and sensitive way 02:42 – Her book, On Death and Dying, was published in 1969 03:10 – With David Kessler as co-author, Elisabeth wrote, On Grief and Grieving 03:26 – The 5 Stages to Grief o Denial o Anger o Bargaining o Depression o Acceptance 03:39 – These stages are not necessarily what people go through in order 04:33 – Denial is when a person still cannot believe or comprehend the fact of the loss 05:34 – Anger can be from regret and abandonment 06:09 – Bargaining comes with “if only” and “what if” thoughts 06:50 – Depression is NOT just about feeling sad, it’s the time when what happened sinks in to the person affected 07:48 – “Help is always available at any time” 07:59 – Acceptance means there’s already an understanding and that they’re ready to move on in life 08:52 – All stages of grief apply to so many parts in life 09:02 – The Grief Recovery Institute has a 5-step process of writing a letter o Write a timeline of happy moments and memories o Write a letter of what you miss and your regrets o Write general thoughts in memories o Say Goodbye o Share with others when you’re ready 10:35 – Very often, people remember losses with sad feelings and they forget how the life and experience was lived happily 11:58 – Celebrate a person’s life or the happy experiences you’ve had 12:30 – Don’t forget to reach out if you need help 12:53 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
Grief is part of every person’s life. Remember that you don’t have to be alone in your grief, help is always available. Understand that every person goes through grief in a different way and stage. Resources Mentioned: Elisabeth Kubler Ross – Swiss-American psychiatrist who created the 5 Stages of Grief On Death and Dying – Elisabeth’s book On Grief and Grieving – Elisabeth’s co-authored book with David Kessler The Grief Recovery Institute – An organization with a mission to disseminate information on grief
Grieving is a normal part of life. It’s actually not just about losing someone we love, it’s also about losing our jobs, our hopes, our dreams, and our aspirations. Today, Joseph educates us with the 5 Stages of Grieving based on Elisabeth Kubler Ross’ approach, what these stages mean, and how it affects us as individuals. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:23 – Today’s episode: 5 Stages of Grieving 00:28 – Joseph will expound upon Elisabeth Kubler Ross’ 5 Stages of Grief and approach 00:43 – Grief counselling is not just for someone who beraves death of a loved one but for people who lost jobs, hopes, and dreams 01:14 – Grief is a state where a person is faced with his own vulnerability 01:56 – Elisabeth Kubler Ross (1926-2004) is a Swiss-American psychiatrist who has a great heart and an amazing compassion to people 02:29 – She developed the 5 Stages to Grief model in a very compassionate and sensitive way 02:42 – Her book, On Death and Dying, was published in 1969 03:10 – With David Kessler as co-author, Elisabeth wrote, On Grief and Grieving 03:26 – The 5 Stages to Grief o Denial o Anger o Bargaining o Depression o Acceptance 03:39 – These stages are not necessarily what people go through in order 04:33 – Denial is when a person still cannot believe or comprehend the fact of the loss 05:34 – Anger can be from regret and abandonment 06:09 – Bargaining comes with “if only” and “what if” thoughts 06:50 – Depression is NOT just about feeling sad, it’s the time when what happened sinks in to the person affected 07:48 – “Help is always available at any time” 07:59 – Acceptance means there’s already an understanding and that they’re ready to move on in life 08:52 – All stages of grief apply to so many parts in life 09:02 – The Grief Recovery Institute has a 5-step process of writing a letter o Write a timeline of happy moments and memories o Write a letter of what you miss and your regrets o Write general thoughts in memories o Say Goodbye o Share with others when you’re ready 10:35 – Very often, people remember losses with sad feelings and they forget how the life and experience was lived happily 11:58 – Celebrate a person’s life or the happy experiences you’ve had 12:30 – Don’t forget to reach out if you need help 12:53 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
Grief is part of every person’s life. Remember that you don’t have to be alone in your grief, help is always available. Understand that every person goes through grief in a different way and stage. Resources Mentioned: Elisabeth Kubler Ross – Swiss-American psychiatrist who created the 5 Stages of Grief On Death and Dying – Elisabeth’s book On Grief and Grieving – Elisabeth’s co-authored book with David Kessler The Grief Recovery Institute – An organization with a mission to disseminate information on grief
9 Minuten
Episode Notes
Summary: Giving and receiving love requires its own set of rules. Today, Joseph opens with the principles of Gary Chapman who argues that love is communicated in different languages. One may feel love when they receive gifts. Others may need words of affirmation or physical touch. Whatever the language may be, if we aren’t approaching each other with this knowledge of what one needs to feel loved, then we may be missing the mark in our efforts to love one another. Tune-in to find out how love is communicated and how a few kind actions in our relationships can make a huge impact. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:25 – Today’s episode: 6 Ways to Give and Receive Love 01:17 – “Until we can receive with an open heart, we're never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.” – Brene Brown 01:54 – 6 Ways to Give and Receive Love o 01:57 – Learn the Love Languages by Gary Chapman Gift giving Quality time Words of affirmation Acts of service Physical touch o 05:01 – Explore your foundations o 05:35 – Start expressing love slowly o 05:53 – Be brave and vulnerable o 06:04 – Work on your own self-love o 06:33 – Embrace love as universal, versatile, and natural 07:27 – Adding sincere love in your life will change everything 07:40 – Try making small changes to see huge changes 07:44 – If you need coaching, reach out to Joseph at Mind Your Mind 08:23 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
Not everyone receives love the same way—learn the love language of your cherished ones so you can communicate love in their way. Love is a universal thing — all people have the capacity to give and receive love. Small actions can make BIG changes.
Summary: Giving and receiving love requires its own set of rules. Today, Joseph opens with the principles of Gary Chapman who argues that love is communicated in different languages. One may feel love when they receive gifts. Others may need words of affirmation or physical touch. Whatever the language may be, if we aren’t approaching each other with this knowledge of what one needs to feel loved, then we may be missing the mark in our efforts to love one another. Tune-in to find out how love is communicated and how a few kind actions in our relationships can make a huge impact. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:25 – Today’s episode: 6 Ways to Give and Receive Love 01:17 – “Until we can receive with an open heart, we're never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.” – Brene Brown 01:54 – 6 Ways to Give and Receive Love o 01:57 – Learn the Love Languages by Gary Chapman Gift giving Quality time Words of affirmation Acts of service Physical touch o 05:01 – Explore your foundations o 05:35 – Start expressing love slowly o 05:53 – Be brave and vulnerable o 06:04 – Work on your own self-love o 06:33 – Embrace love as universal, versatile, and natural 07:27 – Adding sincere love in your life will change everything 07:40 – Try making small changes to see huge changes 07:44 – If you need coaching, reach out to Joseph at Mind Your Mind 08:23 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
Not everyone receives love the same way—learn the love language of your cherished ones so you can communicate love in their way. Love is a universal thing — all people have the capacity to give and receive love. Small actions can make BIG changes.
10 Minuten
Summary: In this episode, Joseph talks about how YOU can get your loved ones to seek help. When someone dear to us is struggling with emotional or mental issues, the family or close friends can often be the main source of support. However, being the sole support system can sometimes be very difficult—especially if the one supporting is not well-equipped or does not have their own support systems in place. Tune-in as Joseph describes 5 ways to approach a loved one that is struggling with mental illness and how you can encourage them to get the help that they need. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:23 – Today’s episode is about the ways you can get your loved one to seek help 00:35 – Dealing with a loved one who needs help can be exhausting 00:58 – Today’s quote: “Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” – Christopher Germer 01:45 – Two books that are helpful: I Am Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! and You Need Help! 02:40 – 5 Ways to Get Your Loved One to Seek Help o 02:43 – Do your part to improve the relationship 03:02 – Know you can never take responsibility for their problems 03:19 – You can’t change everything about you o 04:39 – Find what motivates them 05:11 – Try to speak their language, find a common ground o 05:33 – Don’t criticize, blame, or apologize 05:51 – Find areas that will help them understand that you care about them 06:22 – For certain mental illnesses, people have no clue what is wrong with them o 07:07 – Find areas to agree on 07:17 – LEAP: Listen, Empathize, Agree, and Partner o 08:06 – Get your own support 08:15 – “You can’t force your loved ones to get help” 09:01 – Joseph reminds people to help themselves first 09:20 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
We are only able to help someone if we can help ourselves first. Remember that you have your own needs to fulfill before trying to help others. Trying to help a loved one can be frustrating and exhausting – make sure you have your own support system. Don’t start from a point of blame and criticism, find common ground and aim to partner with them in their journey.
Resources Mentioned: I Am Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! How to Help Someone with Mental Illness Accept Treatment using the LEAP method: Listen, empathize, agree and partner by Dr. Xaviar Amador.
You Need Help! Step-by-step plan to convince a loved one to get counseling. Dr. Mark Komrad
3 Key Points:
We are only able to help someone if we can help ourselves first. Remember that you have your own needs to fulfill before trying to help others. Trying to help a loved one can be frustrating and exhausting – make sure you have your own support system. Don’t start from a point of blame and criticism, find common ground and aim to partner with them in their journey.
Resources Mentioned: I Am Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! How to Help Someone with Mental Illness Accept Treatment using the LEAP method: Listen, empathize, agree and partner by Dr. Xaviar Amador.
You Need Help! Step-by-step plan to convince a loved one to get counseling. Dr. Mark Komrad
9 Minuten
Summary: In this episode, Joseph lists five practical ways we can control our anger. It is natural to feel anger in a stressful situation such as a fight with a partner or loved one. But yielding to our anger and its consequential actions rarely results in good; instead, it can perpetuate a fight and even worsen it. Tune-in as Joseph explains the five D’s that we can employ to manage our anger in those heated moments. By utilizing one of these suggestions, the hope is that we’ll be able to reach a peaceful solution rather than give way to a shouting match. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:23 – Today’s episode is about anger management 00:30 – Ways to deal with you and your loved ones’ anger 00:48 – Anger is a natural reaction which is elicited to grab other people’s attention 01:00 – Anger is our body armor against feelings of fear, sadness and hurt 01:25 – “For every minute that you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of your peace of mind” 01:41 – The 5 ways to control your anger: o 02:20 – Decibel Lowering: Shouting leads to hyperarousal, and it is likely that you will be shouted back at. Lowering your decibel causes your partner to mirror you and it stops the conversation from spinning out of control o 03:19 – Delay: Amygdala, a part of the brain that helps us experience emotions kicks in faster than our logical brain. This is a problem. Calling a timeout when you experience anger lets your logical brain take over o 05:06 – Distract: Quarantine a sensitive issue that is likely to cause a fight and talk about it at a more appropriate time o 06:18 – Define feelings and a solution: When angry, the reptilian brain kicks in which does not permit you to arrive at a logical solution. It is wise to clearly express your feelings and prescribe a solution instead of succumbing to anger o 07:09 – Diffuse: Cut your losses instead of worsening a fight; instead of making angry comments which are likely to further escalate a fight, it is better to diffuse the situation 08:17 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
14 Minuten
Summary: In this episode, Joseph opens Part Two of our attachment series. Adult, romantic relationships are where we truly see the ways in which we attach to our partner. One who is secure in their attachments will behave differently than one who is considered to be avoidant in relationships. Joseph refers to the work, Attached, as a guide for this discussion. Tune-in to hear how the three types of attachment—secure, avoidant, and anxious—affect one’s relationships and the ways in which we can work towards healthier relationships in each of these instances. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:23 – Today’s episode is Attachment: Part 2 – Adult Romantic Relationship 00:35 – Check out Episode 22 for Part 1 00:59 – “We do as we have been done by” – John Bowlby 01:05 – “We learn how to treat others the way we are treated” 01:39 – Once we become conscious of our actions, we can make changes 02:02 – People who work on security in a relationship are able to make changes 02:24 – The book recommended as a resource for this topic: Attached 03:02 – Main 3 types of attachment – secure, avoidant and anxious 03:20 – A secure person in a relationship: o Reliable and consistent o Can makes decisions together with you o Has a flexible view of the relationship o Communicates well o Has healthy dependency o Relationship is not viewed as hard work o Closeness breeds closeness o You’re introduced to friends and family early on o They don’t play games o Available and doesn’t control you 04:13 – A person who is avoidant in a relationship: o Sends mixed signals o Values independence above all o They devalue the partner o They use distancing strategies to try to pull close o Puts boundaries in a relationship o Has unrealistic romantic views o They fear being taken advantage of o Has a rigid view of relationships o Uncompromising o Difficulty talking about issues o 4 things that are common: not ready to commit, not pursuing the relationship, phantom x, there is someone called “the one” and you’re not it 06:08 – An anxious person in a relationship: o Craves closeness o Expresses fear of rejection o Unhappy when not in a relationship o Expects their partner to guess and know what they want o They act out o Makes things about themselves and the relationship o Lets you set the tone o They are preoccupied o Afraid small things might ruin the relationship o They are suspicious and distrustful 07:24 – 50% of people are secure, 25% are avoidant, 20% are anxious and 5% are mixed 08:18 – The most common relationship dynamic: an anxious person marrying an avoidant 08:29 – Many secure people marry other secures 09:32 – Avoidant vs Anxious dynamic has a big spectrum of dysfunctional situations 09:44 – When one partner realizes the pattern, they shift the entire relationship 10:23 – Advice on the avoidant type: o Show more concern o Focus on the problem at hand o Don’t generalize the conflict o Be willing to engage o Communicate feelings and needs 11:13 – Advice on the anxious type: o Wear your heart o Focus on your needs o Be specific o Don’t blame o Be assertive and non-apologetic in a healthy way 12:12 – There is a tremendous amount of work that can be done in your relationships 12:29 – Do the research, understand how you and your partner behave, and make the change 12:59 – Joseph shares about a patient who wanted to leave her spouse 13:37 – Life gives us experiences and it teaches us so many things 13:41 – Learn from your past and present for your future 14:11 – End of this week’s podcast!
3 Key Points:
The way we treat others can be indicative of the way we have been treated. Be aware of you and your partner’s tendencies, so you can make changes for the health of your relationship. It’s always best to meet your partner halfway; each one needs to do their part.
Resources Mentioned: Attached – Book Joseph highly recommends on the topic of attachment
3 Key Points:
The way we treat others can be indicative of the way we have been treated. Be aware of you and your partner’s tendencies, so you can make changes for the health of your relationship. It’s always best to meet your partner halfway; each one needs to do their part.
Resources Mentioned: Attached – Book Joseph highly recommends on the topic of attachment
