Episode 021- Self-parenting in 4 Steps

Summary: In this episode, Joseph breaks down self-parenting into
4 steps. Nobody is perfect in this world; in fact, we are all
flawed and our parents are no exception to this rule. So what do
we make of the hurt and pain that was caused by our parents?
Moreover, how can we learn to self-parent ourselves and fill in
the gaps from our childhood? Tune-in to hear the 4 steps of
self-parenting that are essential to our well-being. Joseph will
explain why we need to love ourselves, the importance of setting
up healthy boundaries in relationships and the value of
self-reflection and more when it comes to parenting ourselves.
Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind
Podcast 00:22 – Today’s episode is about Self-Parenting in 4
Steps 00:47 – Learning to self-parent is an essential quality
all people must learn 01:26 – “It is easier to build strong
children than to repair broken men” – Frederick Douglass 02:06
– In an evolutionary psychology perspective, emotional self-care
takes place through different processes 02:55 – Our
vulnerability (especially as children) opens up room for hurt and
mistakes from parents 03:30 – As we go through the list, look
at your own life 03:49 – Step #1: Self-Love o 04:13 – Someone
with no self-esteem is easily swayed to think of themselves as
failures o 04:41 – Love yourself for who you are o 05:01 –
Appreciate who you are 05:15 – Step #2: Healthy Boundaries o
05:20 – Some boundaries parents set are either too heavy or too
soft o 05:59 – How do you interact with others? o 06:34 –
Relationship dynamics are all about boundaries o 07:28 – Have a
healthy boundary on give-and-take 07:42 – Step #3:
Self-Reflection o 07:59 – Sometimes people do things without
thinking o 08:20 – Parents with severe blind spots is very tricky
for a child o 09:14 – Self-reflection means being aware of your
own blind spots 09:45 – Step #4: Self-Soothing and
Self-Regulation o 09:58 – “We need to learn to take
responsibility for our behaviors” 10:55 – The most functional
homes still have missing pieces 11:34 – You don’t have to keep
falling off track 11:40 – Be your own parent by self-parenting
11:46 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a
review on iTunes


3 Key Points:
Our parents are not perfect and neither are we – being hurt by
our caregivers is an inevitable part of our human experience.
Creating healthy boundaries with others is one way we take care of
ourselves. You don’t have to rely on parents OR our past to dictate
how we respond to life—you can self-parent yourself.