E216: The Truth About Being Passive In Bed: And How To Take Control

Does this sound familiar? Your partner asks you to take control in
the bedroom… and your brain completely short-circuits. You freeze.
You feel awkward. You suddenly have no idea what to do. If you’ve
ever found yourself defaulting to passivity during intimacy—or if
the idea of “being in control” feels totally foreign—you’re so not
alone. In today’s episode, we’re asking the question: Are you
letting sx happen to you… or are you a active participant during
it? We’re also talking about this from a male perspective: What
does it feel like to be the only one initiating or guiding? Do men
want their partners more engaged—and what does that even look like?
Whether you’ve never taken the lead before, or you’re just looking
to feel more empowered and participatory, this episode is your
permission slip—and your how-to guide. Let’s get into it. Here’s
what we’re covering: Why so many women default to passivity in the
bedroom What men actually think about women taking the lead
Questions to ask your partner to open up this convo What “taking
control” can look like—without the pressure Simple ways to be more
confident and engaged in the moment Links & Resources The Art
of Initiation — our most-loved guide for learning how to
confidently initiate intimacy  
http://vmtherapy.com/initiation Join us inside Deeper to access the
brand new Sensual Touch Challenge and finally understand what turns
you (and your partner) on vmtherapy.com/deeper Stay connected:
Follow us on Instagram ️ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander Get
our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and
so many sex puns. Sign up here vmtherapy.com/subscribe Never miss
an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods!
================================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
================================= Thanks Splash Blanket. Use code
PILLOWTALK to get 15% off. Your peace of mind in the
bedroom.︎https://www.splashblanket.com Thanks Cozy Earth. Get an
exclusive discount for up to 40% off. ︎
https://cozyearth.com/pillowtalks Thanks Hungryroot. Get 40% off
your first box and a free item of your choice for life ︎
https://hungryroot.com/pillow Thanks Skims. Shop SKIMS Fits
Everybody collection at SKIMS.com ︎ https://www.skims.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit
podcastchoices.com/adchoices