Why You Should Date Your Employees

The real secret to being a great leader is dating your employees.


 


The best leaders on the planet sell us on their ideas. We flock
to great brands, and the awesome leaders behind them, because we
believe them when they tell us how their products will make our
life (and the world) better.


 


Of course, they could never seduce us if they didn’t already know
what we want. By learning what makes us tick, they position their
product to solve our problems.


 


Yes, this is basically Marketing 101. But, what does it have to
do with dating your employees?


 


Just like the greatest sales professionals understand the magic
inherent in knowing their customers, the best leaders know their
employees.


 


Great sales professionals keep a file on all their customers, and
so do great leaders. They know the names of children, spouses,
favorite meals, interests, and their underlying motivations. Some
even know their favorite color, deep-seated fears, and their shoe
size. Yes, their shoe size!


 


But why? And, seriously, what does this have to do with dating
your employees?


 


By seeking to understand each individual’s aspirations, fears,
and interests, great leaders position their big ideas so that
their employees can overcome fears, reach their goals, and
contribute to the greater vision of the team.


 


Just as world-class sales professionals go to great lengths to
learn about their customers, great leaders know their team, and
intentionally look for ways to help them reach their goals.


 


Great leaders understand that good employees, as with good
customers, have a choice. They can choose to take their skillset
and passion elsewhere, or even worse, turn in mediocre work, and
speak poorly of the company and you, their boss.


 


Gallup calls these people “disengaged.” And a full 68% of the
global workforce is either “not engaged” or “actively
disengaged.” That’s a huge opportunity for leaders who are ready
to date their employees.


 


Romantic relationships require an emotional investment—an
authentic concern for the other person’s happiness. If you want
them to care about you, you have to show that you care about
them.


 


Pretty simple, right?


 


Then why don’t more leaders date their employees? That is, why
don’t they treat the relationship as if it’s valuable,
worthwhile—even cherished?


 


Building real, caring relationships means being vulnerable, which
is not something we’re used to on the job. It’s easier to remain
emotionally detached, simply bark orders, and ignore issues until
it’s time for annual reviews.


 


Remarkable leaders sell their ideas to people they care about, in
much the same way that top sales professionals connect with
customers on a personal level. Just as inspiring a customer to
buy from you demands a connection with the customer, getting your
team to buy into your idea requires a connection.


 


Of course, it’s about more than buying into your idea. It’s about
trusting that you have what it takes to lead them to a worthy
goal.


 


Most leaders don’t know where they’re going (the idea they’re
selling), but they want you to trust them to do the driving. Can
you imagine selling a $1 billion piece of software to a company
without knowing the impact it will have?


 


No way! Yet, most leaders expect their employees to give every
ounce of dedication and commitment to a project without knowing
why they’re working so hard. They make demands like, “Do what
I’ve paid you to do,” use fear as leverage, and then wonder why
the best keep leaving.


 


Consider the following questions before dating (leading) anyone:


 
Do I have a big idea? Does my big idea inspire me? Do I care
about my (my teams) goals? What does success look like? How will
you know when we’ve reached success? Do I understand the bigger
impact on my career, my team, and my customers? Do I care about the
people I hope to motivate? Do I know what drives them?

 


If you’re already in a leadership position, and lack the answers
to any of these questions, get them. Fast! The answers will
undoubtedly yield you the loving relationships that will catapult
your business to the next level.


 


Here’s to Your Greatness,



Misti Burmeister