Permission…

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time
with.”
― Jim Rohn


While I have never been a fan of the idea that we are the sum
total of our five closest friends, I do appreciate the awareness
that such a statement creates. The idea begs a couple of
important questions—


1—What am I learning from the actions (or inactions) of those
around me?
2—How are my actions (or inactions) instructing others?


Often, without our even realizing it, those around us are taking
cues from us about how to behave, what to say, and even whether
or not to believe in themselves. If you’re in a leadership role,
the chances of others imitating you are 10x’s stronger—no
pressure! It’s a ridiculous amount of responsibility, yet the
potential for inspiration and personal growth are insanely
powerful when we accept it.


The truth inherent in this reality hit me between the eyes when
my friend Aisha shared a bit about her experience of being
stationed in Kentucky after growing up in Queens, New York. In
Queens, she told her jokes with swagger and fun. In Kentucky, she
found herself editing her stories and tiptoeing around her
natural style as she struggled to fit in.


While Aisha’s style, dreadlocks and music preferences were a
perfect fit in Queens, Kentucky hardly boasted the kind of
cultural diversity she was accustomed to. With the majority of
her colleagues sporting cowboy boots and listening to country
music, Aisha found herself struggling to tell her jokes, and
simply be herself.


Desperate to figure it out, she started watching a fellow
mocha-skinned officer who was well respected despite the fact
that he drove around base in his Lexus, with spinning rims, and
blaring 2Pac. Wanting that same level of freedom, Aisha asked
him, “How do I do this?”


“You’re the one making a big deal of your skin—they don’t care.
Tell your jokes, just like you’d tell them to me,” he said,
giving Aisha permission to trust in (and be) herself.


“They did laugh, Misti,” Aisha told me, “and I realized that all
I needed to do was be me.”


The simple act of confidently expressing himself inspired Aisha
to not only ask for guidance, but also embrace her natural style,
positively shifting her experience of Kentucky and every other
place she was stationed afterward.


Regardless of whether we’re talking about close friends, or
strangers we watch from a distance at the grocery store, this
type of influence is happening constantly. Rather than focus on
your five closest friends, consider noticing the actions that
inspire you to do more, dream more, and become more… of who you
really are.


Yes—notice the liars, cowards, and addicts of the world, and then
chose courage, truth, and peace of mind without wasting a second
in judgment. Also, notice the brave, open-minded, seekers, and
allow them to open your heart and embrace the struggle to the
journey to full self-acceptance.


Your actions (inactions) are silently giving others permission
to—be themselves, take risks, believe in themselves, ignore
difficulty, pretend to be someone they’re not, listen, talk over
the top of others, set goals, help others reach their goals… the
list goes on and on. What’s on your list?


Awareness is key. Behavior shifts naturally as awareness
sharpens. Tune in and ask yourself, “What are my actions giving
others permission to do, be, and become?” Likewise, “Whose
courage (or cowardice) am I allowing to influence my beliefs and
behaviors?” The simple act of noticing is the key to getting—and
inspiring—the results that matter to you.


Here’s to Your Greatness,


Misti Burmeister


NEW! Ready to reconnect to the excitement of—


—Your work/career
—Leading your team
—Growing your bottom line, along with your people?


Grab your 40 minute Gearing for Greatness session with Misti
today—http://mistiburmeister.com/GearingForGreatness


“Misti’s approach and directness are what make her exceedingly
valuable. She cut through the noise and got right to the heart of
pushing me to focus and keep my eye on the ball.” –Alvin Katz,
Co-Founder, Katz/Abosch