The Real Reason You Cannot Say No

Busy, overwhelmed “Yeser’s” listen up. Yes, there’s a reason we
keep getting asked to take on more—we say “Yes,” and we are the
one’s who will make sure the job gets done, even if our other
projects suffer and we wind up sick from exhaustion.


 


Why do we keep getting picked to do the project? Because we are
driven doers. We’ll run through fire to honor our word, and we’re
the first to admit it. In fact, it’s a badge of honor we wear. In
our quest to get it all in, we say, “Yes!” It’s an honorable and
awesome quality, and I love us for it!


 


The problem comes in when our badge of honor is not tempered with
focus and freedom… to say “no.” When our inability to say “no,”
or “not now,” leads to illness, exhaustion, anxiety, sleepless
nights, or, worse yet, passing out at an event where we’re in
charge (yes, I witnessed this happen just a couple of weeks ago),
it’s time to investigate the story we tell ourselves that leads
to saying “Yes” at every chance.


 


Fear—of…


 


… missing out,


… letting people down,


… being seen as weak (admitting I can’t handle it, which leads to
cockiness),


… an imperfect result that anyone, but you, would create,


… losing opportunities, and


… disappointing others


 


—are the biggest culprits of biting off more than we can chew,
and they wind up robbing us of the chance to do our best work.
Can you imagine the results we could create if we’d simply focus
our “Yeses” on the right projects, and become a steward of
opportunity for additional projects?


 


Instead of spending every moment of our days rushing—to work,
through emails, the first pot of coffee, every meeting—what if we
could enjoy our work, and wind up energized at the end of the
day?


 


The following are three steps that have helped me learn to
identify and enjoy my right “yeses”:


 


Step One: Clarity of focus. Start by giving
yourself 10 minutes (preferably an hour) to think about the
results you’re most committed to (i.e. customer satisfaction on
project X, helping my team advance, gaining opportunities to
share my message from the platform). If you serve on multiple
boards, run a business, and have a family, think about the most
important outcome for each area. What are you striving to
accomplish, and why does it matter to you? Here’s a great
resource for mapping your career.


 


While saying no to big projects may not be your area of struggle,
consider investigating your greatest time sinks. Eager to
strengthen relationships, I typically spend a great deal of time
in one-on-one’s, even if I’m unsure of the purpose behind the
meeting. A quick 15-20 minute phone conversation has become my
new saving grace to bringing focus and clarity to these
meetings. 


 


Step Two: Forty-eight hour rule. When you get
that ego-boosting request to take on another project, simply say,
“Thank you for thinking of me—I love being a part of great
projects. Do you mind giving me until the end of the day tomorrow
to give you a decision on this? With so many balls in the air
right now, I want to make sure I can devote the time and energy
to this project.”


 


Step Three: Help them find someone. It is an
honor to be asked to take on projects, and if your plate is full,
you get to steward opportunity—the greatest leadership quality of
all. Taking time to learn about the goals and future aspirations
of the folks around you will give you the information you need to
know who would appreciate the exposure and opportunity. Note, I
did not say, “Find someone who can do the job as well as you.”
That thinking will trap you into doing the work yourself.
Instead, focus on connecting the ones who want opportunity with
those who need the help.


 


Identifying the direction you want to take your career, and
recognizing the greater contribution you want to make, is the
hardest part. But, once you’ve got it (and it’s always evolving,
so consider coming back to step one at least once a quarter),
doing your best work, and stewarding opportunity, becomes much
easier.


 


Here’s to Your Greatness,


 


Misti Burmeister


 


NEW! Ready to reconnect to the excitement of—


 


—Your work/career


—Leading your team


—Growing your bottom line, along with your people?


 


Grab your 40 minute Gearing for Greatness session with Misti
today—http://mistiburmeister.com/GearingForGreatness


 


“Working with Misti Burmeister will be one of the best decisions
you have ever made as a leader. She helped me integrate new
behaviors and thought processes to bolster my overall leadership
presence.” –Kevin Frick, Professor and Dean, Johns Hopkins Carey
School of Business