Better Relationships Start with Better Communication | Top 5 Skills You Need

Do you argue or communicate? Being an effective communicator is not
something you just KNOW how to do.  You have to learn those
skills and most of us don't. Many of us were not modeled effective
communication in our homes, or even schools and workplaces, so it's
no wonder we struggle with it now.     When I was a
couples therapist for a while I kept seeing communication break
down in the SAME patterns in almost EVERY relationship.  In
this episode I'm going to share those top 5 patterns and the 5
skills you need to develop in order to overcome them.  And
these skills don't just apply to your marriage, these 5
communication skills will help you in every conversation in every
relationship.   The 5 skills are: - Preparation: in
order to be an effective communicator you have to be SUPER clear on
your own thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc. BEFORE going into
the conversation.  I give you my whole system for clarity
before the conversation happens - Listen more than you
speak: to be an effective communicator you have to be an
effective listener and truly seek to understand (though not
necessarily agree with) the other person.  Listening is a
skill, I'll teach you how. - Ask more than you
tell: asking good questions is the KEY to being a good
communicator.  Communicating is not just expressing how YOU
feel, it's about understanding and having empathy for how the other
person feels. My main job as a therapist was asking good questions,
I'll teach you how to as well. - Don't attack or blame or
guilt trip: I saw this so much in couples therapy.  You
need to go into a conversation with the assumption that the other
person had and has good intentions.   Your communication
STYLE also matters - are you aggressive, assertive, passive or
passive aggressive? We'll discuss all of these, and I'm going to
call you out a bit on being passive or passive aggressive and how
to recognize that. - Check your vibes: if the other
person doesn't want to talk, you might need to check the energy
you're approaching with.  So often I see people trying to
approach a conversation with the body language of "I've already
decided you're guilty, let's talk about everything you did wrong!"
 No one is going to want to participate in that conversation.
    If there's ANYONE in your life that you struggle to
effectively communicate with, I PROMISE this episode will shed some
light for you on WHY it's a struggle and what to do about it.
  If anything in this episode resonated with you, I'd LOVE to
hear about it! Send me a DM on Instagram or post a
screenshot of this episode in your stories and tag
me @tarafaulmann! And join the conversation in our FREE
No Nonsense Wellness Community!   XOXO Tara     Show
Notes and Full Transcript: 
https://www.tarafaulmann.com/podcast/entry/30   Healthy Mind,
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