83. When self-compassion gets tough: navigating common barriers

Self-compassion is the willingness to respond to your pain and
suffering in the same way a good friend of yours might–with
warmth, patience, and understanding. That sounds easy, right? But
you know it isn’t.


For many, self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move. It’s
like your mind is a champion at criticizing you in response to
those moments in which you feel anxious about something that has
happened or could happen.


Which of the following fear statements resonate with you?





If I’m kind to myself, I will become a weak person.

I need to be hard on myself or I will never get everything
done.

I don’t deserve kindness.

A harsh approach keeps me from making mistakes or keeps me
disciplined.

Self-criticism motivates me all the time.






Ask yourself: “Am I afraid of compassion?”


In this episode, I chat with Paul Gilbert, the developer of
Compassion Focused Therapy.


Key Takeaways





The beginnings of Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)

4 steps to compassionately deal with your inner critic

The difference between shame and guilt

How to approach self-forgiveness

The intersection of self-compassion and exposure practices

Paul Gilbert’s self-compassion daily practice

What to do if your mind thinks that “self-compassion is weak,
it is being permissive with yourself, or that you’re letting
yourself off the hook.”

How to deal compassionately with anger






(*) Show notes and resources of this episode


(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and
actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe


(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes
and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in
your head


(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr.
Z. ACT courses


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.