Episode 46: Poolside

ATTENTION! POOL RULES!

Free swim Thursdays 4:00 - 4:15.

Shower before entering pool. Also, shave before entering
pool.

This is a “Body Shame Free” zone. You must keep your eyes
closed at all times.

Chairs may only be saved with a passport, $50 bill, or a
signed photo of Burt Reynolds.

Towels available for a small fee—ask the Towel Troll for
details.

Water in the pool is a privilege, not a right!

Just going to be honest here about going #1 and #2: going #1
is way less of a big deal than you think. Going #2 is way more of
a big deal than you think.

Do NOT talk to Randy about 9/11.

NO CANADIANS



Also: what’s your theme song; Adam the lion;
cloggin’ a drain; seeing yourself in a mirror; grits etc.; Burt
Reynolds; peeing on Car 17; splashing is not drowning; pool
chairs for everyone bro; browsing TV Guide; Robin Hood of
chaises; an original Playstation; The Meerkats and the Laundry
Bag; nipples in a crawlspace; ask Quora; the sausage sweats.