Episode 50: Scat Academy (Part 1)

Welcome to the You Look Nice Today Scat Immersion Program.


No dogs, babies, or squares allowed.


In preparation for your first day on campus, please learn these
key phrases, as they represent your final connection with your
native tongue:


SCAT: Gom zibby, glom zibby, bop zibby
domp!
ENGLISH: Please, do not raise your voice; I have
a terrific heroin headache.


SCAT: Bomp ZEE bop! Spoo-da-lee BEE zot?
ENGLISH: Has this pepper spray you’re selling me
been “stepped on?”


SCAT: Babe sop potta womp, bum bop zee
bop!
ENGLISH: Your newborn baby is as uninteresting
to me as the baking soda pabulum that’s currently passing for
heroin.


SCAT: Bomp…zeep…bomp.
ENGLISH: Ha! I’ve once again taken heroin and
fallen asleep whilst driving!


SCAT: Stomp dee-domp, stomp dee-domp, squeep
bomp—DEE bomp?
ENGLISH: Have you a spare behavior modification
helmet and some heroin?


SCAT: Salt PEE nutz!
ENGLISH: This uncut heroin you’ve provided
strikes me as both deadly and affordable.