Shades of Strong® | From “Strong Black Woman” to Supported Black Woman

We talk a lot about what it means to be a good friend. But what happens when the support we’re giving doesn’t match what the other person actually needs? In this episode of Shades of Strong, I’m joined by best friends Alyson Brown and Mia Brinson for a heartfelt, unfiltered conversation about support in Black female friendships. From the challenges of being the “strong one” in your circle to the quiet grief of friendship breakups, this is a layered conversation about what it really means to show up — and be shown up for. Both Alyson and Mia took the Support Languages quiz and got Mindful Care — the language of intentional check-ins and nurturing presence. We explore how that plays out in real life, especially when friendships shift, stretch, or fall apart. Whether you’ve ever felt unseen in your friendships, questioned if you’re giving too much, or struggled to receive the love you so easily give… this episode is for you. In this episode, we talk about: Why support can still miss the mark, even with good intentions What Mindful Care looks like in real friendships The grief and growth that come with friendship breakups The role of communication, boundaries, and emotional capacity Why knowing your friend’s Support Language matters more than you think And what it looks like to be fully seen — and still fully loved Connect with Alyson Brown and Mia Brinson  Follow Alyson and Mia’s podcast, Navigating Sisterhood, on YouTube  Connect with Alyson  and Mia on Instagram.  Support this work: Loving what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend, rate the show, or tag me on social (@shadesofstrong) with your favorite moment. Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language—Now What?” Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does Shirl is the creator of Support Languages and host of Shades of Strong — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman through language, rest, and real support.

At 56 years old, I’m walking into a Black woman’s dream I’ve carried for decades — sitting in New York, preparing to speak with agents and an editor from one of the Big Five publishing houses… about my book. This moment didn’t come fast, but it came faithfully. And in this short, heartfelt episode, I’m reflecting on what it means to finally say yes to the calling — after years of wrestling, resisting, and wondering if it was too late. Because this isn’t just about publishing a book. It’s about legacy. It’s about healing. It’s about breaking patterns for every Black woman who’s ever whispered, “I don’t want to be strong anymore.” So if you’ve ever questioned the timing of your dream… If you’ve ever felt like you missed your moment… This episode is a gentle reminder that what’s for you is still for you. It may be delayed — but it is never denied. This is a Black woman’s dream. Delayed, yes. But still divine. Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language—Now What?” Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does Shirl is the creator of Support Languages and host of Shades of Strong — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman through language, rest, and real support.  

We say it all the time — check on your strong friend — but do we really know what that means? In this Support Snippet, Shirl goes deeper than the surface-level reminder and speaks directly to what it looks like when strong Black women go quiet. When the one who always holds everyone else down suddenly pulls back. When the “I’m fine” doesn’t really mean fine anymore. If you’re the strong one, or you love someone who is, this short but powerful episode will help you think differently about how support shows up, who it’s for, and what’s hiding in the silence after we stop over-functioning. Because here’s the truth: The strong friend gets tired too. And when she stops showing up the way she always has — it’s not drama. It’s a signal. In this episode, you’ll hear: What it really means to check on your strong friend Why many strong Black women feel invisible when they stop doing The emotional weight of being “the dependable one” How silence can signal the need for support A gentle reminder that strong women deserve to be held too Whether you’ve been the strong friend, ignored the strong friend, or realized that you are the strong friend… this conversation is for you. Because shifting from being a strong Black woman to being a supported Black woman? That’s the real work. And it starts with noticing. Need space to unpack your own strong friend fatigue? Shirl is holding space for Black women who are ready to rest, reflect, and receive support without guilt. Book a 1:1 Support Session HERE. Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language—Now What?” Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does Shirl is the creator of Support Languages and host of Shades of Strong — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman through language, rest, and real support.  

Are you tired of being the strong one? The one everyone depends on but rarely checks in with? That’s what we’re getting into today… ewhat happens after you finally lay that weight down — when you stop over-functioning, stop fixing, stop pretending you’re okay… and the phone stops ringing. What happens when you finally stop? When you set the boundary? When you pause the all the doing? It’s quiet. But instead of peace, you’re sitting in discomfort. Maybe even grief. Because what shows up after the pause — that silence, that stillness — can feel personal. In this episode, I’m talking about the uncomfortable part of rest. The identity crisis that shows up when you’re no longer being needed every day. And the emotional shift that happens when you’ve built your worth on being dependable — and now you’re not sure who you are without it. If you’ve ever said, “I’m tired of being the strong one,” this episode will hit home. I’m diving into what it feels like to stop over-functioning, to rest, and to wrestle with who you are when being needed isn’t your identity anymore. If You’re Tired of Being the Strong One, Here’s What You’ll Hear: Why rest can feel like grief when your identity was built around being needed What it really feels like to stop over-functioning The weight of being invisible when you stop doing everything What the “but then what?” moment reveals about your support needs Why the pause is not failure — it’s the beginning of your becoming If you’ve been asking yourself: Who am I if I’m not the strong one anymore? Why do I feel so off when I finally rest? What if nobody notices I’ve stopped showing up? This episode is for you. And  if you’re sitting in that “but then what?” space — and it feels like too much to carry alone, let me hold space for you in a 1:1 Support Session.  These sessions aren’t about fixing. They’re about slowing down and making room for the version of you who’s ready to be held too. Book Your Support Session HERE . Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language—Now What?” Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does Shirl is the creator of Support Languages and host of Shades of Strong — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman through language, rest, and real support.