Learning to Hold Yourself When No One Else Does

What do you do when you need to fall apart… but there’s no one
there to hold you?


This Support Snippet is me sitting with that exact question — and
remembering what emotional care looked like back when I didn’t
have to ask for it


I’m reflecting on what emotional care looked like before life got
complicated — and what it means to create that kind of care for
yourself now.


I’m taking you back to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches made
with intention, quiet afternoons that felt like exhaling, and the
kind of support that didn’t require me to be okay first. No
fixing. No pressure. Just presence.


These days, I’m the one everyone leans on — and maybe you are
too. So I’m also naming what it feels like to carry that weight
quietly, especially as a Black woman, and what it means to admit
you still need to be held.


If you’ve been moving through your days on autopilot, missing the
kind of care you didn’t have to ask for, this episode is for you.


Because emotional care for Black women isn’t optional. It’s
necessary.
And we shouldn’t have to hold it all in just because nobody’s
offering to hold us.
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Shirl is the creator of Support Languages and host of Shades of
Strong — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black
Woman to Supported Black Woman through language, rest, and real
support.