Why Self-Care Sundays and the Soft Life Aren’t Enough

You’ve put down strong. You’ve tried the self-care Sundays, the
soft life rituals, the silence and the scented candles. But
somehow, you still feel like you’re holding it all by yourself.


In this episode of Shades of Strong, Shirl unpacks why self-care
and softness — while nourishing — were never meant to replace
real support. She breaks down the difference between comfort and
being held, and shares why so many Black women are left feeling
unsupported even while doing all the “right” things to care for
themselves.


You’ll hear:




Why soft life vibes can feel good, but still leave you
depleted




The pacifier metaphor that will shift how you see comfort vs.
support




How Support Languages offer a deeper way to receive the care
you actually need




What happens when we grieve the strong Black woman identity
but don’t replace it with anything real




And how we can honor our mothers and grandmothers by choosing
differently




This is a loving call-in — not to abandon softness, but to go
deeper than what looks good on the surface. If you’ve ever felt
like self-care just wasn’t cutting it anymore, this conversation
is for you.
Resources to Support You:


Schedule a 1:1 Support Session


Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language—Now
What?”


Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn
how you actually receive support best.


Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words,
real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week



Let’s Stay Connected:


Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your
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 Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being
the strong one

 Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it
helps more Black women find this space


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www.shadesofstrong.com





Related Episodes


When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well

When You’re All You’ve Got



Shirl is the creator of Support Languages and host of Shades
of Strong — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong
Black Woman to Supported Black Woman through language, rest,
and real support.