How to Find & Be a Great Romantic Partner | Lori Gottlieb

My guest is Lori Gottlieb, MFT, a psychotherapist and bestselling
author who specializes in helping people build strong relationships
by first understanding themselves and the stories they’ve
internalized about themselves and others. We explore how our
parents, wounds and unique strengths—both consciously and
unconsciously—influence our partner choices and how we show up in
relationships, as well as how to avoid and break free from
destructive patterns. We also discuss the impact of texting, social
media and dating apps on partnership. Lori shares which signals to
follow to become the best romantic partner possible and how to make
choices that lead to greater vitality, happiness and fulfillment in
all areas of life. Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com.
Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Helix
Sleep: https://helixsleep.com/huberman BetterHelp:
https://betterhelp.com/huberman David Protein:
https://davidprotein.com/huberman LMNT:
https://drinklmnt.com/huberman Timestamps 00:00:00 Dr. Lori
Gottlieb 00:02:01 Patient & First Question; Talked Out of
Feelings 00:06:15 Self-Regulation vs Co-Regulation, Tool: Pause
& Perspective 00:10:04 Sponsors: Helix Sleep & BetterHelp
00:12:36 Relationships, Childhood & Unfinished Business
00:17:13 Unconscious Mind, Hurtful Parent & Familiarity, Role
of Therapy 00:26:35 Excitement & Chaos, Cherophobia;
Storytelling, First Date & Sparks? 00:36:27 Tool: Awareness of
Death & Living Fully; Vitality; Fear vs Acceptance 00:47:27
Sponsors: AG1 & David Protein 00:50:35 Activate vs Energize;
Tool: Technology, Numbness & Overwhelm 00:54:50 Numb or Calm?,
Gender Stereotypes, Tool: Mentalizing 01:00:51 Feelings, Projective
Identification, Tool: Owning Your Feelings 01:03:25 React vs
Respond; Space, Tool: Face-to-Face Conversation vs Text 01:10:16
Behavioral Change, 5 Steps of Change, Tool: Self-Compassion &
Accountability 01:15:38 Sponsor: LMNT 01:16:54 Deadlines &
Rules; Idiot vs Wise Compassion, No Drama & Assumptions
01:26:27 Silent Treatment, Crying & Manipulation, Shame vs
Guilt, Self-Preservation 01:33:01 Self-Reflection, Individual &
Couples Therapy, Transference; Agency 01:38:56 Texting, Conflicts,
Breakups, Pain Hierarchy, Tool: Move Forward 01:46:42 Relationship
Breakups, Daily World & Loss 01:53:30 Bank of Goodwill; Talking
About Partner, Focus, Comparison 02:01:13 Infidelity, What If vs
What Is, Attention & Appreciation 02:04:56 Gut Instinct, Change
Behavior, Danger, Productive vs Unproductive Anxiety 02:15:27
Knowing Oneself, Relationships, Flexibility, Shared History
02:20:30 Romantic Relationships & Teens, Social Media, Privacy
02:27:09 Online Apps & Choices, Maximizers vs Satisficers,
Tool: Identify Your Weakness 02:33:09 Fixing Issues Early, Tool:
Self vs Partner Lists & Character Qualities 02:41:51 Feeling
Toward Partner, Calm, Content; Tool: Operating Instructions
02:46:48 Help-Rejecting Complainers; Relationships, Love & Core
Wounds 02:51:22 Stories & Unreliable Narrators, Editing, Tool:
5 Senses 02:59:04 Young Men, Masculinity, Confusion 03:07:03 Grief,
Making Sense of Loss 03:09:54 Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
Workbook; Ask The Therapist, Choosing a Bigger Life 03:20:26
Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow &
Reviews, YouTube Feedback, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural
Network Newsletter Disclaimer & Disclosures Learn more about
your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices